cawacko
Well-known member
While I enjoy food I'm definitely not a "foodie". Maybe one of the reasons is I didn't realize you were supposed to view eating out from a progressive, moderate or conservative perspective?
I basically always tip 20%. I've actually had someone call me cheap fore for doing so (I guess 22% - 25% is now standard?) But that aside I was unaware I was signaling my progressive politics by always tipping 20%.
For board liberals/progressives do you view tipping this way? Among your circle of friends do you have this discussion? Or is this just a San Francisco thing?
Over the years, the cliche that you are what you eat has started to apply to not just nutrition but to personality, to lifestyle and to politics. Liberals drink plant-based milk and conservatives stick to whole. Saying you love tacos on your dating profile signals that you’re down-to-earth yet cultured. Ordering Sweetgreen suggests you’re a certain kind of taste-minded “millennial yuppie striver.”
It’s silly, it’s largely low-stakes, and like many stereotypes, there are some elements of truth alongside plenty of dubious conjecture. But as a left-leaning lady who’s been immersed in the food world for years, there’s one recent development in this arena that I can no longer stomach: Accepting bad restaurant service — and still paying a big tip — has become a way to signal that you have progressive politics.
And it’s gotten out of hand.
The attitude started during the pandemic lockdown when people began treating dining out as a civic duty of sorts. Showering struggling mom-and-pop restaurants and their staffs with huge tips became a performative display of appreciation second only to those 7 p.m. clangs for health care workers.
God bless! Tipping exorbitantly and relaxing standards around restaurant service during that time was a tangible way to differentiate ourselves from those “Karen” customers in conservative-leaning states that eschewed masks, lockdowns and basic safety protocols so they could feel normal again. Food-loving liberals would never stoop to such behavior at such a rough time. They were understanding. They were champions of the marginalized. I was one of these people, crafting guides that encouraged diners to adjust their expectations and to tip extra.
But four years later and long after lockdowns ended, this attitude remains — as does the fear that coming off as a problem customer makes you a bad liberal. Lackluster service is mentioned in a whisper if mentioned at all.
Many of my friends and colleagues working in food media have privately admitted to me that they’re hesitant to comment on mediocre service out of fear of backlash. I understand why. After Chronicle restaurant critic MacKenzie Chung Fegan recently wrote about a server taking her dessert order and then turning up the lights before she finished, many locals pushed back on Instagram. How dare she mention that the restaurant had flaws? She was the rude one! Sounds like she needs to work in a restaurant to understand labor conditions!
The conversation around tipping particularly illustrates the anxiety around being a “good customer.” You must tip at least 10% on takeout and at least $1 at coffee shops, etiquette guides declare. In-house diners should offer a minimum of 20% — even if service is atrocious. Not tipping the right amount at the right time for the right service (whew!) might mean there’s something wrong with you morally. You might even be a “monster.”
Meanwhile, time limits on dining tables have become stricter and, after a successful lobbying from the dining industry, service fees that often mask the full price of a meal on a menu are here to stay. QR code menus are still commonplace — often meaning less attention from the staff you are expected to tip for service — and the outdoor street seating that once seemed charming now often feels cheap.
In other words, trying to dine well is becoming less fun and more expensive. All the while, etiquette guides say we should keep our mouths shut and tip extra for good measure, lest we reveal ourselves to be villains of modern life.
I get why some folks say you should tip even if the experience isn’t up to par. Different people have different standards, and it’s not uncommon for servers to be punished for something out of their control, from an error in the kitchen to the server’s gender or race. In general, when we dine out we should absolutely err on the side of tipping, and remember that we are interacting with real human beings.
But a blanket 20% tip for bad service? Really?
Hospitality is an art form, and at its best, it’s seamless — you won’t notice whether the service was good or bad until you’re done and realize that you barely noticed time passing. Your water is always full, your questions always answered, your needs consistently met before you even realize you have them. It’s what makes dining out an experience instead of just consuming calories, and it’s what makes so many restaurants feel like special places to hang out. Deciding hospitality no longer matters turns dining from a way to witness craft to a mere financial transaction. Isn’t it something we should still value?
I know I’m not alone in my frustration. And it’s servers who may ultimately pay the price for lowered standards, the pressure to tip in more circumstances and extensive guilt-tripping from well-meaning etiquette guides.
A survey from the personal finance company Bankrate found that the percentage of people who tip regularly at restaurants is declining, which is especially troublesome in states where servers don’t make minimum wage without tips. In San Francisco, where labor laws are stronger and servers make minimum wage before gratuity, a survey from restaurant platform Toast found that the city had some of the worst tippers in the country.
Progressive friends: We’re making fools of ourselves!
https://www.sfchronicle.com/opinion/article/working-for-tips-18264969.php
As we saw with how quickly California legislators backtracked on service fees when confronted by lobbyists, restaurants are part of an industry — and industries don’t change without pressure.
Sometimes a server is not some sort of beleaguered anonymous worker who needs your sympathies. Sometimes a restaurant owner is not a down-on-their-luck proprietor who deserves your unconditional support. Sometimes they are just bad at their job. It’s OK to treat them as such.
I basically always tip 20%. I've actually had someone call me cheap fore for doing so (I guess 22% - 25% is now standard?) But that aside I was unaware I was signaling my progressive politics by always tipping 20%.
For board liberals/progressives do you view tipping this way? Among your circle of friends do you have this discussion? Or is this just a San Francisco thing?
Should you still tip 20% for bad service? You’re not a bad liberal for answering no
Tipping big even when the service is bad? Progressive friends: We’re making fools of ourselves
Over the years, the cliche that you are what you eat has started to apply to not just nutrition but to personality, to lifestyle and to politics. Liberals drink plant-based milk and conservatives stick to whole. Saying you love tacos on your dating profile signals that you’re down-to-earth yet cultured. Ordering Sweetgreen suggests you’re a certain kind of taste-minded “millennial yuppie striver.”
It’s silly, it’s largely low-stakes, and like many stereotypes, there are some elements of truth alongside plenty of dubious conjecture. But as a left-leaning lady who’s been immersed in the food world for years, there’s one recent development in this arena that I can no longer stomach: Accepting bad restaurant service — and still paying a big tip — has become a way to signal that you have progressive politics.
And it’s gotten out of hand.
The attitude started during the pandemic lockdown when people began treating dining out as a civic duty of sorts. Showering struggling mom-and-pop restaurants and their staffs with huge tips became a performative display of appreciation second only to those 7 p.m. clangs for health care workers.
God bless! Tipping exorbitantly and relaxing standards around restaurant service during that time was a tangible way to differentiate ourselves from those “Karen” customers in conservative-leaning states that eschewed masks, lockdowns and basic safety protocols so they could feel normal again. Food-loving liberals would never stoop to such behavior at such a rough time. They were understanding. They were champions of the marginalized. I was one of these people, crafting guides that encouraged diners to adjust their expectations and to tip extra.
But four years later and long after lockdowns ended, this attitude remains — as does the fear that coming off as a problem customer makes you a bad liberal. Lackluster service is mentioned in a whisper if mentioned at all.
Many of my friends and colleagues working in food media have privately admitted to me that they’re hesitant to comment on mediocre service out of fear of backlash. I understand why. After Chronicle restaurant critic MacKenzie Chung Fegan recently wrote about a server taking her dessert order and then turning up the lights before she finished, many locals pushed back on Instagram. How dare she mention that the restaurant had flaws? She was the rude one! Sounds like she needs to work in a restaurant to understand labor conditions!
The conversation around tipping particularly illustrates the anxiety around being a “good customer.” You must tip at least 10% on takeout and at least $1 at coffee shops, etiquette guides declare. In-house diners should offer a minimum of 20% — even if service is atrocious. Not tipping the right amount at the right time for the right service (whew!) might mean there’s something wrong with you morally. You might even be a “monster.”
Meanwhile, time limits on dining tables have become stricter and, after a successful lobbying from the dining industry, service fees that often mask the full price of a meal on a menu are here to stay. QR code menus are still commonplace — often meaning less attention from the staff you are expected to tip for service — and the outdoor street seating that once seemed charming now often feels cheap.
In other words, trying to dine well is becoming less fun and more expensive. All the while, etiquette guides say we should keep our mouths shut and tip extra for good measure, lest we reveal ourselves to be villains of modern life.
I get why some folks say you should tip even if the experience isn’t up to par. Different people have different standards, and it’s not uncommon for servers to be punished for something out of their control, from an error in the kitchen to the server’s gender or race. In general, when we dine out we should absolutely err on the side of tipping, and remember that we are interacting with real human beings.
But a blanket 20% tip for bad service? Really?
Hospitality is an art form, and at its best, it’s seamless — you won’t notice whether the service was good or bad until you’re done and realize that you barely noticed time passing. Your water is always full, your questions always answered, your needs consistently met before you even realize you have them. It’s what makes dining out an experience instead of just consuming calories, and it’s what makes so many restaurants feel like special places to hang out. Deciding hospitality no longer matters turns dining from a way to witness craft to a mere financial transaction. Isn’t it something we should still value?
I know I’m not alone in my frustration. And it’s servers who may ultimately pay the price for lowered standards, the pressure to tip in more circumstances and extensive guilt-tripping from well-meaning etiquette guides.
A survey from the personal finance company Bankrate found that the percentage of people who tip regularly at restaurants is declining, which is especially troublesome in states where servers don’t make minimum wage without tips. In San Francisco, where labor laws are stronger and servers make minimum wage before gratuity, a survey from restaurant platform Toast found that the city had some of the worst tippers in the country.
Progressive friends: We’re making fools of ourselves!
https://www.sfchronicle.com/opinion/article/working-for-tips-18264969.php
As we saw with how quickly California legislators backtracked on service fees when confronted by lobbyists, restaurants are part of an industry — and industries don’t change without pressure.
Sometimes a server is not some sort of beleaguered anonymous worker who needs your sympathies. Sometimes a restaurant owner is not a down-on-their-luck proprietor who deserves your unconditional support. Sometimes they are just bad at their job. It’s OK to treat them as such.
