red states rule
New member
YEEE---HAWWW!
Howdie-Hi there Friends and Neighbors, It’s Yer Ole Pal Crazy Ivan Betinov, down here at the Stalin Storehouse, and have I got a deal fer YEW! We got us a brand new product line down here at the Stalin Storehouse! We are proud to announce that we are the new regional distributors of
GENUINE OBAMA BRAND SNAKE OIL!
It Stimulates! It Enervates! It Lifts and Separates!
IT’S THE MIRACLE PRODUCT OF THE TWENTY-FIRST CENTURY!
We got us a brand new Progressive President in the White House and the Most Progressive Congress EVER. Between them they have cooked up a batch of Snake Oil to End All Snake Oils!
It Lubricates! It Percolates! It Cleans and Penetrates!
Just listen to these testimonials!
“After George Bush and his Republican cronies ruined our economy for eight years, I used to live in my car with my physically disabled son and all our housecats. After just one application of
GENUINE OBAMA BRAND SNAKE OIL I got a new house, a full tank of gas and became a media darling! Thanks, Obama Brand!”
--Henrietta H., Fort Myers.
“Me and the boys were on the verge of negotiating in good faith with GM until they got a shot of
GENUINE OBAMA BRAND SNAKE OIL. Now we can keep on sticking it to the Man without giving up a single concession! Thanks, Obama Brand!”
--Ronnie G., Lexington.
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“GENUINE OBAMA BRAND SNAKE OIL is better than Botox! I haven’t felt this dizzy with success since the last Folsom Street Fair!”
--Nancy P., San Francisco.
“I was diagnosed with bowel cancer, but because Bush hates children my health insurance policy had a $10,000 deductible. I was actually reduced to holding a fundraiser to pay for my medical bills. Then I found GENUINE OBAMA BRAND SNAKE OIL! One dose and I shat out a tumor in an airport bathroom!”
--Michael R., Minnesota
Don’t confuse GENUINE OBAMA BRAND SNAKE OIL with other quack medicines! Only GENUINE OBAMA BRAND SNAKE OIL has the miracle ingredient Fraudulene!
It Masticates! It Ruminates! It Rinses and Expectorates!
And it can be all yours for the LOW LOW PRICE of just
$787,000,000,000 !
That’s Right Friends and Neighbors!
GENUINE OBAMA BRAND SNAKE OIL!
It has seven-hundred-and-eighty-seven billion uses!
Get your bottle today!
That's the Stalin Storehouse, right next to "Ushankas-R-Us" just off State Highway 17 in the Red Star Shopping Center! Ya'll Come See Us!
Actual results not guaranteed to produce anything.
Side effects have been reported as severe and may include: vomiting, nausea, explosive flatulence, double vision, slurred speech, necrophilia, uncontrolled itching, facial blemishes, rash, hives, spontaneous gender reassignment, dry mouth, excessive salivation, betrayed hope, leg tingles, unbearable lightness of being, extreme poverty, kidney explosion, spleen inversion, bile venting and mild headache.
Reading this disclaimer absolves The Stalin Storehouse from all responsibility for any damages of injuries real of imagined resulting from the use of this product.
Store only in non-reactive containers, out of direct public scrutiny.
http://thepeoplescube.com/red/viewtopic.php?t=2991