The stick vs. the carrot (online discussions here)

[Scott]

I've been doing a bit of browing the forums here in the last day or 2 and the content of my browsing to me thinking, do people really think they're doing a good thing by casting shade on others so much? I know for my part that I disagree strongly with some posters here on various issues, but then, we I can also strongly -agree- with those same posters on other issues. There was a time when I considered my arch nemesis to be Dutch Uncle, based on the insults he was always sending my way, and so he was the first person I ever thread banned. Now that thread banning has been abolished, we rarely cross paths and when we do, it's not always as ideological opponents. Honestly, the person I least like the posts of these days is actually dancing dave, simply because they all seem to make little sense and so I just feel like I waste my time reading them.

I spent a bit of time in the War Zone Forum. Ironically, I've had some short conversations there that were actually quite nice, but then some posters that are -usually- reasonable started saying things that I wouldn't expect from them elsewhere- not against me, but against ther person I was responding to. I've seen this happen elsewhere too. I just don't see the point in insulting other's ideas and beliefs in simplistic ways- you're bound to either shut the conversation or tune you out at best, or for them to respond with the same at worst, resulting in a possible flame war. I suppose a "Can't we all just get along?" line isn't going to cut it, but I still think the following meme says a lot ...


Don't get me wrong, I have certainly gotten mad at people offline (though rarely), but one of the things about doing things offline is that you don't always have time to choose your words carefully and editing is not an option. I've personally found that the carrot generally works much better than the stick in getting people to see things differently. As I've said elsewhere, that doesn't mean it works wonders, just better.

 

[EdwinA]

posts like the above remind me of that old skit on Carol Burnett's show:

View: https://youtu.be/QUHQkWrqdG4


'Mama's ' response seems entirely appropriate.

 

[Hawkeye10]

I've been doing a bit of browing the forums here in the last day or 2 and the content of my browsing to me thinking, do people really think they're doing a good thing by casting shade on others so much? I know for my part that I disagree strongly with some posters here on various issues, but then, we I can also strongly -agree- with those same posters on other issues. There was a time when I considered my arch nemesis to be Dutch Uncle, based on the insults he was always sending my way, and so he was the first person I ever thread banned. Now that thread banning has been abolished, we rarely cross paths and when we do, it's not always as ideological opponents. Honestly, the person I least like the posts of these days is actually dancing dave, simply because they all seem to make little sense and so I just feel like I waste my time reading them.

I spent a bit of time in the War Zone Forum. Ironically, I've had some short conversations there that were actually quite nice, but then some posters that are -usually- reasonable started saying things that I wouldn't expect from them elsewhere- not against me, but against ther person I was responding to. I've seen this happen elsewhere too. I just don't see the point in insulting other's ideas and beliefs in simplistic ways- you're bound to either shut the conversation or tune you out at best, or for them to respond with the same at worst, resulting in a possible flame war. I suppose a "Can't we all just get along?" line isn't going to cut it, but I still think the following meme says a lot ...
View attachment 48076

Don't get me wrong, I have certainly gotten mad at people offline (though rarely), but one of the things about doing things offline is that you don't always have time to choose your words carefully and editing is not an option. I've personally found that the carrot generally works much better than the stick in getting people to see things differently. As I've said elsewhere, that doesn't mean it works wonders, just better.

You have one life, yours....U R NOT responsible for what other people think.

Work on Yourself.

 

[Hawkeye10]

I say what I see because I am a Truth Teller and this is how we operate.

But make no mistake, your education is your problem.

I Got Mine.

 

[Scott]

You have one life, yours....U R NOT responsible for what other people think.

Work on Yourself.

Agreed, but every once in a while, I think it might be good to remind people that the carrot generally works better than the stick when it comes to persuading people of things.

 

[Ross Dolan]

Agreed, but every once in a while, I think it might be good to remind people that the carrot generally works better than the stick when it comes to persuading people of things.

I've seen you assert that several times, Scott...but I don't understand what you base it on.

Al Capone used to say, " "You can get much farther with a kind word and a gun than you can with a kind word alone."

I suspect he was closer to the truth than you on this issue.

There were lots of people who were very "persuasive" using the stick rather than the carrot. Saddam Hussein, Idi Amin, Pol Pot, Caligula, Mao, Stalin, Hitler come immediately to mind.

Can you name some people who were successful in persuasion using the carrot?

 

[Scott]

I've seen you assert that several times, Scott...but I don't understand what you base it on.

Al Capone used to say, " "You can get much farther with a kind word and a gun than you can with a kind word alone."

I suspect he was closer to the truth than you on this issue.

Initially, sure, but I think we can agree that most people don't think well of Capone. As to what Capone said, I think a better metaphor is "walk softly but carry a big stick". Yet another way would be something that Frank Herbert wrote in one of his Dune books:
"Law always chooses sides on the basis of enforcement power. Morality and legal niceties have little to do with it when the real question is: Who has the clout?"

Let's try and translate this to this forum. I think we can agree that the forum Administrators are the ones who have the big stick, in that they can ban people. But generally speaking, they are -not- the ones who are insulting others the most. The problem with using the stick instead of the carrot is that you can end up annoying people to the point that they stop responding as much.

There were lots of people who were very "persuasive" using the stick rather than the carrot. Saddam Hussein, Idi Amin, Pol Pot, Caligula, Mao, Stalin, Hitler come immediately to mind.

Yes, but look at how history views them. I think we can agree that historians have not been so kind to them in return.

Can you name some people who were successful in persuasion using the carrot?

Definitely. The depicion of Jesus Christ, Martin Luther King, JFK and Gandhi all come to mind. I'm sure you can think of another chararestics many of them share, such as being persecuted and many of them being killed for what they preached. I think we can also agree that historians generally look well upon them.