Being poor

evince

evince

Truthmatters
http://www.scalzi.com/whatever/003704.html



September 03, 2005
Being Poor
Being poor is knowing exactly how much everything costs.

Being poor is getting angry at your kids for asking for all the crap they see on TV.

Being poor is having to keep buying $800 cars because they're what you can afford, and then having the cars break down on you, because there's not an $800 car in America that's worth a damn.

Being poor is hoping the toothache goes away.

Being poor is knowing your kid goes to friends' houses but never has friends over to yours.

Being poor is going to the restroom before you get in the school lunch line so your friends will be ahead of you and won't hear you say "I get free lunch" when you get to the cashier.

Being poor is living next to the freeway.

Being poor is coming back to the car with your children in the back seat, clutching that box of Raisin Bran you just bought and trying to think of a way to make the kids understand that the box has to last.

Being poor is wondering if your well-off sibling is lying when he says he doesn't mind when you ask for help.

Being poor is off-brand toys.

Being poor is a heater in only one room of the house.

Being poor is knowing you can't leave $5 on the coffee table when your friends are around.

Being poor is hoping your kids don't have a growth spurt.

Being poor is stealing meat from the store, frying it up before your mom gets home and then telling her she doesn't have make dinner tonight because you're not hungry anyway.

Being poor is Goodwill underwear.

Being poor is not enough space for everyone who lives with you.

Being poor is feeling the glued soles tear off your supermarket shoes when you run around the playground.

Being poor is your kid's school being the one with the 15-year-old textbooks and no air conditioning.

Being poor is thinking $8 an hour is a really good deal.

Being poor is relying on people who don't give a damn about you.

Being poor is an overnight shift under florescent lights.

Being poor is finding the letter your mom wrote to your dad, begging him for the child support.

Being poor is a bathtub you have to empty into the toilet.

Being poor is stopping the car to take a lamp from a stranger's trash.

Being poor is making lunch for your kid when a cockroach skitters over the bread, and you looking over to see if your kid saw.

Being poor is believing a GED actually makes a goddamned difference.

Being poor is people angry at you just for walking around in the mall.

Being poor is not taking the job because you can't find someone you trust to watch your kids.

Being poor is the police busting into the apartment right next to yours.

Being poor is not talking to that girl because she'll probably just laugh at your clothes.

Being poor is hoping you'll be invited for dinner.

Being poor is a sidewalk with lots of brown glass on it.

Being poor is people thinking they know something about you by the way you talk.

Being poor is needing that 35-cent raise.

Being poor is your kid's teacher assuming you don't have any books in your home.

Being poor is six dollars short on the utility bill and no way to close the gap.

Being poor is crying when you drop the mac and cheese on the floor.

Being poor is knowing you work as hard as anyone, anywhere.

Being poor is people surprised to discover you're not actually stupid.

Being poor is people surprised to discover you're not actually lazy.

Being poor is a six-hour wait in an emergency room with a sick child asleep on your lap.

Being poor is never buying anything someone else hasn't bought first.

Being poor is picking the 10 cent ramen instead of the 12 cent ramen because that's two extra packages for every dollar.

Being poor is having to live with choices you didn't know you made when you were 14 years old.

Being poor is getting tired of people wanting you to be grateful.

Being poor is knowing you're being judged.

Being poor is a box of crayons and a $1 coloring book from a community center Santa.

Being poor is checking the coin return slot of every soda machine you go by.

Being poor is deciding that it's all right to base a relationship on shelter.

Being poor is knowing you really shouldn't spend that buck on a Lotto ticket.

Being poor is hoping the register lady will spot you the dime.

Being poor is feeling helpless when your child makes the same mistakes you did, and won't listen to you beg them against doing so.

Being poor is a cough that doesn't go away.

Being poor is making sure you don't spill on the couch, just in case you have to give it back before the lease is up.

Being poor is a $200 paycheck advance from a company that takes $250 when the paycheck comes in.

Being poor is four years of night classes for an Associates of Art degree.

Being poor is a lumpy futon bed.

Being poor is knowing where the shelter is.

Being poor is people who have never been poor wondering why you choose to be so.

Being poor is knowing how hard it is to stop being poor.

Being poor is seeing how few options you have.

Being poor is running in place.

Being poor is people wondering why you didn't leave.


Posted by john at September 3, 2005 12:14 AM

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/John_Scalzi
 
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Damn! so right on on virtually all of em.
I have lived or lived with most of em...
Glad it is past tense....

The one about actually believing a GED Makes a difference...
Well that is true to the poor, it can make a difference. Usually not a lot of difference though.

And spinner that is not by my personal experience, just being around it.
You do not understand the working poor.
 
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It is much harder for people to understand how hard it is NOT to be poor when they have never been poor themselves.
 
As I read most of the entries a memory with that exact same issue would flash in my head...Been there done that...
Darn sure glad I am no longer there.
 
I was poor and never stole anything
Lots of poor parents
It's a shitty parent that cant get off their ass to support their offspring
 
AllI can say is true........

to all of the above..however when you are poor the only option you have is to head up the latter...and you will meet some of the elite on their way down...:cof1:
 
What many middleclass raised people dont understand is that the truely poor have to work a few years just to catch up to where you started as an 18 years old.

Then we often cant resist helping our siblings and parents along the way which also makes our rise longer and harder.

My family is a tremendous success story in the world of poverty. That does not mean I need to talk smack about the people still in the struggle.

They are just as good as me or you , they are just still in the process.
 
Is it awful for me to think, if you live in that kind of extreme poverty, you shouldn’t bring a child into it?
 
I only have a problem with this one:

"Being poor is stealing meat from the store, frying it up before your mom gets home and then telling her she doesn't have make dinner tonight because you're not hungry anyway."

When I was a kid at home in the 70's and early 80's several of these applied to me. We flushed the toilet with the bathwater. We lengthened jeans with whatever color material we could find. We took handouts. We pilfered trash cans at times. We never stole.

A lot of my raising is why I work so much on community outreach through the church providing clothes, food and such to poor families. I work closely with some people in DHS and Tech training programs trying to get some folks education and jobs. It is a big part of my life now........and it is due to my raising.
 
Yep those who tried to climb higher than their capabilities up the "latter".

Find the level that works best for you, do not just climb the "latter" just because it is the thing to do.
 
Desh said:
What many middleclass raised people dont understand is that the truely poor have to work a few years just to catch up to where you started as an 18 years old.

Then we often cant resist helping our siblings and parents along the way which also makes our rise longer and harder.

My family is a tremendous success story in the world of poverty. That does not mean I need to talk smack about the people still in the struggle.

They are just as good as me or you , they are just still in the process.
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Oh I agree Desh.

But still, if it were me, I wouldn't bring a child into it.
 
Darla said:
Is it awful for me to think, if you live in that kind of extreme poverty, you shouldn’t bring a child into it?
Click to expand...

Again sex is a pleasure poor people can afford.

Education, access to birth control are very important for the poor.

Tell a teen who has nothing that they also will have to never have sex.
 
Darla, people will still attempt to procreate in spite of everything. We are merely animals that are a bit smarter than the rest.

also,
Desh is right too, just a different level.
 
Desh said:
Again sex is a pleasure poor people can afford.

Education, access to birth control are very important for the poor.

Tell a teen who has nothing that they also will have to never have sex.
Click to expand...

Ok, but I had in mind those planning and trying to have the kids.
 
Darla said:
Is it awful for me to think, if you live in that kind of extreme poverty, you shouldn’t bring a child into it?
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It's not awful. But there are so many different circumstances. When you're young & poor, you have hope, and tell yourself that you'll be out of poverty by the time it makes any difference to the child. Or, you're idealistic, and think that you can make up for a lack of material things with a more loving environment.

In general, many people - rich & poor - just do not think with any sense of clarity about the implications of having children while they are childless. The notion of having a child is romanticized, and tends to cloud judgment...
 
uscitizen said:
Darla, people will still attempt to porcreat in spite of everything. We are merely animals that are a bit smarter than the rest.
Click to expand...

Well, if I were in an abusive relationship I wouldn’t have a baby, and I wouldn’t bring a baby into the life described above either. That’s how I feel. It’s not about whether or not people in extreme poverty have the “right” to have children, yeah sure you do. It’s about being selfless. Put it off until you can feed them. If you cant’ feed your kids, don’t have them man, period.
 
Darla said:
Is it awful for me to think, if you live in that kind of extreme poverty, you shouldn’t bring a child into it?
Click to expand...

Darla, I have mixed feelings about this. I really think the same way but wonder sometimes if I should. I wouldn't do it. Being raised poor and turning out OK makes me think that someone else deserves the same shot, whether it is at being a poor parent or the child being raised by poor parents who are also loving.

If my dad hadn't enlisted in the Army and gotten us some medical care (the youngest of 5, I was sick a lot as a child) I don't know if we would have ever gotten out of the situation we were in. But he had to be gone a lot (Germany, Korea and Vietnam) and my mom had to be strong to keep 5 kids in line. It was tough on her and I don't suppose all women could do it.
 
Onceler said:
It's not awful. But there are so many different circumstances. When you're young & poor, you have hope, and tell yourself that you'll be out of poverty by the time it makes any difference to the child. Or, you're idealistic, and think that you can make up for a lack of material things with a more loving environment.

In general, many people - rich & poor - just do not think with any sense of clarity about the implications of having children while they are childless. The notion of having a child is romanticized, and tends to cloud judgment...
Click to expand...

That's true Onceler, good points.

And I can understand thinking that love makes up for material things, and you know what? I even think it does. But it doesn't make up for food.

But I understand what you are saying.
 
I have to admitt I stole food from a couple of my early jobs.

I felt like shit and stopped after a couple of times. When you are a kid and very poor it is so much more tempting to try and take something. You see all those god damned comercials with everyone so happy with their Stuff. You get really tired of everyone else having and you not having. I never stole from a person but I did shop lift (I think it was makeup) once. I ended up giving it away because I didnt want to look at it anymore.

Poor works on you , many of you just cant know.
 
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