a conservative is a prole that does not know how to read. They are very stupid and stubbron, and only believe what they are told, because again - they are unable to read to learn stuff for themselves. If you show them facts, it will actually have the opposite effect and reinforce their incorrect beliefs (no this is not hyperbole, there is a study I posted here a while back).
a liberal is a prole that does know how to read. Their weakness is that they are incredibly naive in thinking they can change the world. (See: election 2008). They also believe they have the right to steal your money and give it to other liberal proles, because liberals are too busy "helping" society that they forgot to help themselves.
In summation, a conservative is a mouthbreather with cheeto dust all over their pants, staring off into the void. A liberal is someone that runs up the wrong escalator and wont stop until they are crushed by the reality that they have no voice. Sometimes they never stop and it just becomes very pathetic and you feel sorry for their wasted efforts. But only for fleeting moments.