The Most Epic Email Ever

Emperor Trajan said:
I didn't make all that shit popular. I was 12 years old, for crying out loud. Anyway, I never bleached my hair and I never bought a chain for my wallet, but I did all of the other shit. I also drank a crapload of Surge, as it was uber-popular at the time (my favorite fad of them all, of which I would still be an addict if Coca-Cola weren't such a fucking collection of buzzkillers).
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Good lord! Thank God the fat chick next door made a man out of you or you'd have landed on Castro Street for sure! ;)
 
Emperor Trajan said:
I didn't make all that shit popular. I was 12 years old, for crying out loud. Anyway, I never bleached my hair and I never bought a chain for my wallet, but I did all of the other shit. I also drank a crapload of Surge, as it was uber-popular at the time (my favorite fad of them all, of which I would still be an addict if Coca-Cola weren't such a fucking collection of buzzkillers).
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I was busy trying to find where mom tried to toss my holey jeans and jean jacket.
 
Darla said:
Don't pay any attention. We all do stupid stuff as teens. I was a teen in the 80's and I could tell you some big-hair and Sassoon jean stories that would sound like another planet to you.
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I had this porn stash, way too short shorts and tank tops. white trash nightmare from elm street!
 
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Mott, you need to have more faith in me. I don't know what else to say... Besides, I hang out with a total womanizer for a drinking buddy (and sometimes another guy, who, interestingly enough, went to Mich. State).
 
Emperor Trajan said:
Mott, you need to have more faith in me. I don't know what else to say... Besides, I hang out with a total womanizer for a drinking buddy (and sometimes another guy, who, interestingly enough, went to Mich. State).
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I do have faith in you 3D. Why both you and Cap'n Billy moved out of your parents basement and started banging fat chicks a long time ago. Though Billy did give up schtooping fatties to marry a hotty (a sacrifice I'm reasonably sure she has no appreciation or respect for).

It's Skidmark and Grind that I don't have any faith in!

Though I do pray for Grind. I'd hate to see his 8 years of college go down the drain.

I also felt terrible for Skidmark when the basement in his parents house flooded. How traumatic. Probably the closest he's ever come to actually moving out!
 
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Darla said:
Don't pay any attention. We all do stupid stuff as teens. I was a teen in the 80's and I could tell you some big-hair and Sassoon jean stories that would sound like another planet to you.
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Big hair, yes! And big earrings, big shoulder pads, and Giorgio perfume. (Don't wrinkle your nose, I didn't wear it but it seemed everyone else did.)
 
christiefan915 said:
Big hair, yes! And big earrings, big shoulder pads, and Giorgio perfume. (Don't wrinkle your nose, I didn't wear it but it seemed everyone else did.)
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I can't remember the name of that hairspray... the big hair girls would come on the Twister (a roller coaster, I worked at the amusement park) and get off, their hair hadn't moved but then they'd spray like four days worth of that crap onto their hair. To this day I get nightmares when I smell hair spray...
 
Mott the Hoople said:
I do have faith in you 3D. Why both you and Cap'n Billy moved out of your parents basement and started banging fat chicks a long time ago. Though Billy did gave up schtooping fatties to marry a hotty (a sacrifice I'm reasonably sure she has no appreciation or respect for).

It's Skidmark and Grind that I don't have any faith in!

Though I do pray for Grind. I'd hate to see his 8 years of college go down the drain.

I also felt terrible for Skidmark when the basement in his parents house flooded. How traumatic. Probably the closest he's ever come to actually moving out!
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Yeah, Grind and WM are not going to get me laid. One day, Billy will road trip out to Seattle and we'll have an epic night out on the town. Also, sometime I will hang out with Brent, and if he brings his cute girlfriend, it will be game on for me.
 
Damocles said:
I can't remember the name of that hairspray... the big hair girls would come on the Twister (a roller coaster, I worked at the amusement park) and get off, their hair hadn't moved but then they'd spray like four days worth of that crap onto their hair. To this day I get nightmares when I smell hair spray...
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Let me guess. Aqua Net Extra Super Hold, probably.
 
Emperor Trajan said:
Yeah, Grind and WM are not going to get me laid. One day, Billy will road trip out to Seattle and we'll have an epic night out on the town. Also, sometime I will hang out with Brent, and if he brings his cute girlfriend, it will be game on for me.
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Well I think that goes with out saying. You are a reasonably attractive young man and she is stuck with Brent after all.
 
christiefan915 said:
Not white trash unless you had a mullet and a few missing teeth. ;)
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No mullet but my wife was digging through old pictures, I'm going to show my kids at my retirement party. I look like a Shoe in for super troopers casting, I mean the most embarrassing nearly filled out mustash, the short shorts alone are laughable, I'm not a hairy guy at all (peach fuzz stash) and the tank top is so small the skragly chest hair is right there. This is all at Disney in a photo holding the cutest 2 yr old boy ever in front of Mickey's house.
 
The Dude said:
No mullet but my wife was digging through old pictures, I'm going to show my kids at my retirement party. I look like a Shoe in for super troopers casting, I mean the most embarrassing nearly filled out mustash, the short shorts alone are laughable, I'm not a hairy guy at all (peach fuzz stash) and the tank top is so small the skragly chest hair is right there. This is all at Disney in a photo holding the cutest 2 yr old boy ever in front of Mickey's house.
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Good times! :)
 
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