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The legal nerd's guide to drinking your way through the State of the Union.
abovethelaw.com
Chief Justice John Roberts is still “
barely invited” to this year’s State of the Union, but the rest of us will have to absorb the festivities from the comfort of our own homes.
As is the quasi-annual tradition at Above the Law, we have prepared a State of the Union Drinking Game, as a solemn civic service to America’s lawyers who gather to watch constitutional order strain under the weight of sundowning fascism. It’s
a speech that drove Justice Ginsburg to drink and that was during a sane administration. Traditionally this is a drinking game, but obviously it doesn’t have to be. For any of you concerned about crossing the line into substance abuse, feel free to play with any other metric you wish. Virgin margaritas, iced coffee, smacking yourself in the face with a hammer… whatever gets you through the spectacle of Donald Trump ambling through grievances while trying to avoid sharting himself…
again?
If you’re one of the justices staying home because the president publicly called you an “embarrassment to their families,” maybe you can play along tonight, too!
Every Absent Supreme Court Justice (one sip per empty seat): Let’s jump right in. Trump told the justices who ruled against his tariffs that they were “
barely invited” to tonight’s speech and that he “couldn’t care less if they come.”
He heaped insults upon Chief Justice Roberts and Justices Barrett and Gorsuch for daring to read the IEEPA and agree with the conservative conventional wisdom that starting trade wars is bad for business. It was a stark contrast to last year, when
Trump personally thanked John Roberts for rewriting the Constitution to allow presidents to commit crimes as a treat. Chief Justice Roberts has maintained a perfect attendance record since 2005, but after the president’s tantrum, the Court as an institution should consider a total boycott to maintain its dignity. They won’t though…
Finish your drink if every single justice boycotts.
Every Supreme Court namecheck: When President Obama called out the
Citizens United opinion for inventing a new constitutional standard that opened the door for the sort of corrupt assault on democracy that… actually came to pass, he spoke about the Supreme Court as an institution, rather than calling out any individual justice. That’s not Trump’s style. As we saw on Friday, he’s ready to get personal whether he’s bashing Barrett or praising Kavanaugh.
Any Other Supreme Court Decision: He won’t be able to help himself from talking tariffs, but what about
Roe or
Dobbs or
Obergefell? Finish your drink if it’s
Marbury v. Madison.