A History of the United States, 2009-2025
On January 21, 2009 American began it’s reconnection with the world.
President Al Gore was sworn in at noon, on January 21, 2009. America’s allies and friends around the world stood as one, and gave the American people a standing ovation for their electoral wisdom: for turning our backs on the politics of belligerence, fear, and pettiness - and for embracing a global approach to problems like the environment, terrorism, and poverty.
President Gore’s first act in office, was to finally commit the U.S. to the World Criminal Court. Within hours of signing the treaty, former president George Bush was shackled and put on a Cessna jet bound for the World Criminal Court in the Hague, Netherlands. Ironically, this Cessna was once used to fly alleged enemy combatants (including members of GreenPeace and CodePink) to secret prisons in Egypt, Tajikistan, and Uzbekistan.
The years 2009 to 2025 were among the most prosperous peaceful in American history. After President Gore served two terms, President Barak Obama was elected in 2016, serving his two terms until 2025. A groundswell of public opinion was set to overturn the 22nd amendment to allow President Obama an opportunity at a third term, but he graciously stepped down to allow Chelsea Clinton to run in 2024 as the Democratic nominee for president.
In those years, American successfully reconnected with its allies around the world to eradicate religious terrorism of all kinds: Muslim, Hindu, Jewish, and Christian. Church attendance at fundamentalist and evangelical churches plummeted as a new age of reason and enlightenment embarked. Presidents Gore and Obama used the revenue authority of the federal government, to move away from unnecessary wars and the military industrial complex, consequently reducing taxes on working Americans. Remnants of President Bush’s “star wars” missile defense system can still be seen today, in a small make-shift museum dedicated to the Bush presidency, located in rural Alabama. The museum is run by a man that will only give “Dixie” as his name. Oddly enough, this in the only public site in the United States dedicated to President Bush. In 2010, Congress denied funding for a Bush Presidential Library. Evidently, all the papers and documents for the Bush presidency had been shredded during the Congressional Investigations from 2007-2008.
Major investments in science, education, stem cell research, and climate science were the order of the day in the Gore and Obama presidencies. Global warming was stopped. Policies that encouraged the development of alternative energy sources, weaned America completely off of middle eastern oil. In fact, the last time a U.S. President ever met with, or even acknowledged, the King of Saudi Arabia, is when President Gore made a nationally televised speech, in which he addressed the kingdom of Saudi Arabia by proclaiming “Hasta La Vista, baby” while flipping his middle finger into the TV camera.
The grip of theocracy over the stem cell debate was lifted. And stem cell research ultimately proved useful in saving the life of Rush Limbaugh, who had trashed his liver by an overuse of prescription drugs and Viagra.
With its new dedication to science, education and technology, America remained the world leader and innovator in bioscience, alternative fuels, climate science, and telecommunications.
Universal healthcare was introduced in 2011. By the year 2016, Ann Coulter was overheard saying to Tucker Carlson: “Remind me Tucker, why did we ever oppose this thing?”
By 2020, gay marriage and gay civil unions were legal in all states except for Mississippi. Which by that time was being shunned by the rest of the nation, anyway.
In 2022, the republican party fractured. A moderate wing remained as the nominal republican party. Social conservatives split, and formed the “Party of God”, which based its platform entirely on the Ten Commandments. A gentleman who only goes by the name “Superfreak” is the current party chairman. By 2025, the “Party of God” was so marginalized, that had resorted to holding national conventions in the basement of a house owned by some guy named Topspin.
Thus, the United States climbed out of the abyss in 2009, and reclaimed its rightful heritage as the leading enlightened and progressive nation on earth.
On January 21, 2009 American began it’s reconnection with the world.
President Al Gore was sworn in at noon, on January 21, 2009. America’s allies and friends around the world stood as one, and gave the American people a standing ovation for their electoral wisdom: for turning our backs on the politics of belligerence, fear, and pettiness - and for embracing a global approach to problems like the environment, terrorism, and poverty.
President Gore’s first act in office, was to finally commit the U.S. to the World Criminal Court. Within hours of signing the treaty, former president George Bush was shackled and put on a Cessna jet bound for the World Criminal Court in the Hague, Netherlands. Ironically, this Cessna was once used to fly alleged enemy combatants (including members of GreenPeace and CodePink) to secret prisons in Egypt, Tajikistan, and Uzbekistan.
The years 2009 to 2025 were among the most prosperous peaceful in American history. After President Gore served two terms, President Barak Obama was elected in 2016, serving his two terms until 2025. A groundswell of public opinion was set to overturn the 22nd amendment to allow President Obama an opportunity at a third term, but he graciously stepped down to allow Chelsea Clinton to run in 2024 as the Democratic nominee for president.
In those years, American successfully reconnected with its allies around the world to eradicate religious terrorism of all kinds: Muslim, Hindu, Jewish, and Christian. Church attendance at fundamentalist and evangelical churches plummeted as a new age of reason and enlightenment embarked. Presidents Gore and Obama used the revenue authority of the federal government, to move away from unnecessary wars and the military industrial complex, consequently reducing taxes on working Americans. Remnants of President Bush’s “star wars” missile defense system can still be seen today, in a small make-shift museum dedicated to the Bush presidency, located in rural Alabama. The museum is run by a man that will only give “Dixie” as his name. Oddly enough, this in the only public site in the United States dedicated to President Bush. In 2010, Congress denied funding for a Bush Presidential Library. Evidently, all the papers and documents for the Bush presidency had been shredded during the Congressional Investigations from 2007-2008.
Major investments in science, education, stem cell research, and climate science were the order of the day in the Gore and Obama presidencies. Global warming was stopped. Policies that encouraged the development of alternative energy sources, weaned America completely off of middle eastern oil. In fact, the last time a U.S. President ever met with, or even acknowledged, the King of Saudi Arabia, is when President Gore made a nationally televised speech, in which he addressed the kingdom of Saudi Arabia by proclaiming “Hasta La Vista, baby” while flipping his middle finger into the TV camera.
The grip of theocracy over the stem cell debate was lifted. And stem cell research ultimately proved useful in saving the life of Rush Limbaugh, who had trashed his liver by an overuse of prescription drugs and Viagra.
With its new dedication to science, education and technology, America remained the world leader and innovator in bioscience, alternative fuels, climate science, and telecommunications.
Universal healthcare was introduced in 2011. By the year 2016, Ann Coulter was overheard saying to Tucker Carlson: “Remind me Tucker, why did we ever oppose this thing?”
By 2020, gay marriage and gay civil unions were legal in all states except for Mississippi. Which by that time was being shunned by the rest of the nation, anyway.
In 2022, the republican party fractured. A moderate wing remained as the nominal republican party. Social conservatives split, and formed the “Party of God”, which based its platform entirely on the Ten Commandments. A gentleman who only goes by the name “Superfreak” is the current party chairman. By 2025, the “Party of God” was so marginalized, that had resorted to holding national conventions in the basement of a house owned by some guy named Topspin.
Thus, the United States climbed out of the abyss in 2009, and reclaimed its rightful heritage as the leading enlightened and progressive nation on earth.
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Do you go Beddy bye at night listening to the song: 'In the Year 2525'....Zager&Evans????
Poor SF; not sure he deserves quite that bashing, but it's funny nevertheless.