Great. I have two SATA settings, "Enhanced" and "Compatible". If I choose "Compatible", the hard drives work, but the USB stick doesn't. If I choose "Enhanced", the USB stick works, but the hard drives are inaccessible. The CD drive doesn't work at all.
That leaves me with two options:
A) Network install - need a second computer, difficult to come by at the moment. Tried to look into setting up a TFTP/DHCP server on my smartphone, but it looks like too much of an assache to bother, plus I think that I may need the same CPU architecture on both the server and machine being installed too.
B) Set up a VirtualBox with RAW hard drive access to my second hard drive (yep, my laptop has two hard drives, it is only partially mobile), partition it and install Arch to that hard drive, and simply boot from it when I need to boot Linux.