Are you thinking about turning survivalist?

  • Thread starter Thread starter Guns Guns Guns
  • Start date Start date

Should you be a survivalist?

  • No, I already am one

    Votes: 0 0.0%

  • No, I realize Mad Max was just a movie

    Votes: 0 0.0%

  • No, I don't believe in zombies

    Votes: 0 0.0%

  • No, because I am rational

    Votes: 0 0.0%

  • No, because I am not a wannabe killer

    Votes: 0 0.0%

  • Yes, because I am consumed with fear, hate, and distrust

    Votes: 0 0.0%
  • Total voters
    0
G

Guns Guns Guns

Guest
First, you have to convince yourself that a cataclysmic event is inevitable, and that you can only survive by turning your basement or garage into a Führerbunker.
 
Next, you must hoard supplies. Without supplies, you won't have anything to "defend", except your wives and daughters.


You know those non-whites are after your wife and daughters, don't you?


Here's a handy video to get the budding hoarder started:



 
Of course, the survivalist must wear the proper attire.


It serves to indentify you as a true patriot instead of a jack-booted government thug, and comes in handy during those weekend paintball sessions where you re-enact Ruby Ridge and Waco, except the government loses.


Camo is de rigeur, but take care not to look like an actual soldier or police thug.


Here's what the typical survivalist is wearing this season:


armchairsurvivalist-logo.jpg



Note: The T-shirt can bear the anti-Obama slogan of your choice, and course you can accesorize with the approprate ball cap logo - sports teams or NASCAR sponsors are always popular.
 
Decorating tips for the bunker - since you're going to be down there as long as it takes for the unprepared liberals to die or be killed off, you may as well get comfy.


But in keeping with the utilitarian nature of the survivalist ethos, each bunker furnishing should serve a purpose.


Wall hangings to absorb the screams when you butcher your neighbors children with the trusty K-bar:



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Bedding should be warm, hide dirt (you won't be washing it) and display appropriate survivalist sentiments to keep morale up. No cartoon character bedspeads for your kids - they're survivors!​




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Furniture should be decorative, comfortable, and able to function as a weapon if the libs or government lackeys get too close.​
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FREE Toaster with every 1,000 rounds of ammunition saved!! See poster above for details.
 
Learn to be a Troll! Say whatever pops into your head. Inaccurate? Don't worry! Make claims of what people say without worrying if they actually said them!! Yes, you too can be a troll! some assembly but no intelligence required
 
\(\(V\/V)/)/ said:
First, you have to convince yourself that a cataclysmic event is inevitable, and that you can only survive by turning your basement or garage into a Führerbunker.
Click to expand...

What makes you think that they believe that cataclysmic events are inevitable rather than just possible?
 
lol...another legion troll poll ignored because he is a retard

legion couldn't survive without his mom upstairs.
 
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More comedy gold:







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Seriously, Teatards, do you believe this shit?​
 
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