Chuck Norris is 76 today.

[USFREEDOM911]

10 things you might not have known about Chuck Norris.

1 - When Alexander Bell invented the telephone, he had 3 missed calls from Chuck Norris.

2 - Chuck Norris can win a game of Connect Four, in only 3 moves.

3 - Chuck Norris doesn't dial a wrong number, you just answered the wrong phone.

4 - Chuck Norris can kill two stones, with one bird.

5 - Chuck Norris doesn't have an ESC key on his computer; because NO ONE ever escapes.

6 - Chuck Norris ALWAYS talks about Fight Club.

7 - Chuck Norris knows Victoria's secret.

8 - Death once had a near Chuck experience.

9 - Some people wear Superman Pajamas; but Superman wears Chuck Norris Pajamas.

10 - Did you hear that explosion?? That was just Chuck Norris blowing out his Birthday Candles.

 

[Leonthecat]

OLE' CHUCK IS FINALLY OUT!

 

[Damocles]

Chuck Norris and Mr. T walked into a bar and the bar exploded because that much awesome in one place is against the laws of physics.

 

[Damocles]

There used to be a street named after Chuck Norris, but they had to change the name because nobody can cross Chuck Norris and live.

 

[Damocles]

Chuck Norris never flushes the toilet, he just scares the sh*t out of it.

 

[Damocles]

Space is continuously expanding because the rest of the universe is running away from Chuck Norris.

 

[Damocles]

When Chuck Norris enters a room he doesn't turn on the light, he turns the dark off.

 

[Damocles]

Chuck Norris once beat Halo 1, 2, and 3 on Legendary with a broken Mario Cart Wii controller.

 

[Legion Troll]

 

[Leonthecat]

[video=youtube;E6UTz_Doic8]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E6UTz_Doic8[video]​

Such a shame he never learned how to act.

 

[USFREEDOM911]

Good job Damo.

I guess I should have gone ahead and banned the list of dumbasses; because it would have made the thread more awesome.

 

[Konono]

There used to be a street named after Chuck Norris, but they had to change the name because nobody can cross Chuck Norris and live.

Oh my goodness, you are so funny.

 

[Konono]

Chuck Norris once beat Halo 1, 2, and 3 on Legendary with a broken Mario Cart Wii controller.

Maybe an a pong paddle? My grandfather brought them up and said it was much easier then.

 

[PostmodernProphet]

Chuck Norris is not 76.......76 is Chuck Norris......

 

[evince]

Norris is a Douche

 

[SmarterthanYou]

when chuck norris goes to bed, he checks under the bed for carol

 

[USFREEDOM911]

Chuck Norris is not 76.......76 is Chuck Norris......

LOL

 

[USFREEDOM911]

Chuck Norris has already been to Mars, that's why there are no signs of life.

 

[USFREEDOM911]

Chuck Norris died 20 years ago.
Death just hasn't worked up the courage to tell him.

 

[USFREEDOM911]

Chuck Norris once urinated in a Semi truck's gas tank, as a joke...

...that truck is now known as Optimus Prime.