@TOP
Ohhhh, look at you, Professor Pinot Grigio, slurring your lessons between sips of bargain-bin merlot and forwarding conspiracy chain-mails like they’re extra credit assignments on Facebook.
I am the Grim Reaper, Collector of Souls, Grader of Final Exams, Curver of No Bells and even I don’t harvest rumors that flimsy.
You, oh Substitute of Misinformation, are out here spreading tabloid whispers like they’re peer-reviewed research. Did your teaching certificate come from the University of Trust Me, Bro? Magna Cum Loudly?
Listen carefully, my tipsy pedagogue of nonsense
When you fling baseless gossip into the void, the void does not applaud. The void rolls its hollow eye sockets and writes F in red ink.
If you crave attention, might I suggest:
- Hydrating.
- Fact-checking.
- Perhaps a hobby that does not involve late-night keyboard heroics.
Because while you’re busy inventing scandal fan fiction, I’m busy scheduling appointments. And misinformation ages a soul terribly.
Now run along, Ms. Crystal Clearly Not Certified. Finish your juice box of fermented grapes.
