Eternal sin

[FUCK THE POLICE]

The holy spirit can suck my nuts. Oh wait, it can't because it doesn't exist. Sorry holy spirit.

 

[FUCK THE POLICE]

Don't mind me, I'm just trying to figure out the proper way to commit eternal sin.

Any advice? Christians can't seem to agree on what it means, so I don't have a lot to go on.

 

[BRUTALITOPS]

epicurus is very real... or have you not forgotten the holy trinity?

 

[uscitizen]

Don't mind me, I'm just trying to figure out the proper way to commit eternal sin.

Any advice? Christians can't seem to agree on what it means, so I don't have a lot to go on.

Become a Republican.

 

[Minister of Truth]

Its called "Mortal Sin," and the most damning one you can commit is suicide, oddly enough...

 

[Damocles]

Its called "Mortal Sin," and the most damning one you can commit is suicide, oddly enough...

So becoming a priest then raping a little boy isn't a mortal sin? Being Christ's representative on earth and hurting children must count more than these people have treated it.

 

[usshitizen]

the mortal sin was having bush in the white house for 8 years!

 

[Cancel3]

So becoming a priest then raping a little boy isn't a mortal sin? Being Christ's representative on earth and hurting children must count more than these people have treated it.

I have always wondered about an organization that publically condemns masturbation, requires abstinence and then hides child abuse.

Strange priorities.

 

[evince]

The holy spirit can suck my nuts. Oh wait, it can't because it doesn't exist. Sorry holy spirit.

ROTFLMAO

 

[Minister of Truth]

So becoming a priest then raping a little boy isn't a mortal sin? Being Christ's representative on earth and hurting children must count more than these people have treated it.

I said it isn't? Must be losing my touch... No, the reason why suicide generally sucks the most (not counting psychological cases, etc.), is because its the only one you can't physically repent for. For example, Peter denied Christ and repented, while Judas betrayed Christ, for which he could have been forgiven (I think his motives were somewhat innocent), but he instead chose to kill himself.

The Church considers everything that has been mentioned as Mortal Sins. The little things, like telling Watermark he is a fucktard, are called Venial Sins, and we commit them constantly...

 

[FUCK THE POLICE]

So becoming a priest then raping a little boy isn't a mortal sin? Being Christ's representative on earth and hurting children must count more than these people have treated it.

It is a mortal sin. They're both mortal sins, along with dozens of other things (like talking back to your parents and lusting after a women). You can repent from a mortal sin, but since suicide is a mortal sin, and it's impossible to repent from it, the thought is that it would send you straight to hell.

And if you're wondering "Wait, they literally equate murder/child rape to lusting after a women? And they think suicide is worse than genocide?" Yes, they do!

Heil Christianity! The most clearly just system ever devised!

However, I was talking about eternal sin, which is impossible to repent from even if you do live on. I'm just wondering how to commit it. Christians can't seem to make up their mind, but the bible said it involves denying the holy spirit.

 

[Cancel 2018. 3]

i believe the bible says that blasphemy of the holy spirit is the only unforgivable sin.

 

[Cancel 2018. 3]

It is a mortal sin. They're both mortal sins, along with dozens of other things (like talking back to your parents and lusting after a women). You can repent from a mortal sin, but since suicide is a mortal sin, and it's impossible to repent from it, the thought is that it would send you straight to hell.

And if you're wondering "Wait, they literally equate murder/child rape to lusting after a women? And they think suicide is worse than genocide?" Yes, they do!

Heil Christianity! The most clearly just system ever devised!

However, I was talking about eternal sin, which is impossible to repent from even if you do live on. I'm just wondering how to commit it. Christians can't seem to make up their mind, but the bible said it involves denying the holy spirit.

keep saying it, not just in a smart ass way, god is above that...but if you truly believe that, then your desire might be granted. i do not think god wants someone in heaven who mocks his rule and thinks he is above god...hmmmm, who does that remind me of....

 

[FUCK THE POLICE]

keep saying it, not just in a smart ass way, god is above that...but if you truly believe that, then your desire might be granted. i do not think god wants someone in heaven who mocks his rule and thinks he is above god...hmmmm, who does that remind me of....

DEAR GOD CONSIDER ME ETERNALLY SINFUL

Thankyou.

I AM GREATER THAN GOD

If God truly exists, may he strike down all conservatives right now. See? They're still alive. So he doesn't exist.

 

[FUCK THE POLICE]

i believe the bible says that blasphemy of the holy spirit is the only unforgivable sin.

Suck my nuts holy spirit.

 

[charver]

This whole - being fellated by a holy spirit (or even your common or garden ghost or spectre) bidness raises some important questions.

1.Is a spectral apparition capable of erogenous zone manipulation? I know they are supposed to be able to throw things but can it, say, work a gentleman's testicles expertly with its writing phantom tongue?

2.When ejaculating into the gaping void of a ghostly mouth would one need to take the precaution of covering any carpeting/soft furnishings or can a ghost's stomach store (at least temporarily) a teaspoon or two of fresh man lard?

3.Over what distance (if at all) can a phantasm spit?

4.Would it be possible to get a ghost pregnant because, i imagine, with their famous 'walking-through-walls' abilities the normal male 'changing the locks' response would be rendered all but redundant.

5.If precautions need to be taken, would a holy spirit's ectoplasmic lubricant be likely to damage a standard prophylactic or is it mostly water-based like KY?

6.Can one contract Ghost AIDS?

If anyone could help me out with these questions i'd be most obliged.

I will stress that time is of the essence though, as i have a hot date tonight with a simply stunning spook that i met at the old haunted graveyard last Saturday night. Thanks in advance.

 

[Damocles]

I said it isn't? Must be losing my touch... No, the reason why suicide generally sucks the most (not counting psychological cases, etc.), is because its the only one you can't physically repent for. For example, Peter denied Christ and repented, while Judas betrayed Christ, for which he could have been forgiven (I think his motives were somewhat innocent), but he instead chose to kill himself.

The Church considers everything that has been mentioned as Mortal Sins. The little things, like telling Watermark he is a fucktard, are called Venial Sins, and we commit them constantly...

Christ told Judas to do what he "must do". I think it was planned, but Judas couldn't reconcile the action with his feelings (the demons). I'd love to read the full Gospel of Judas, but unfortunately portions of it were damaged.

 

[Damocles]

This whole - being fellated by a holy spirit (or even your common or garden ghost or spectre) bidness raises some important questions.

1.Is a spectral apparition capable of erogenous zone manipulation? I know they are supposed to be able to throw things but can it, say, work a gentleman's testicles expertly with its writing phantom tongue?

Well, of course they are, what do you think wet dreams are made of?

2.When ejaculating into the gaping void of a ghostly mouth would one need to take the precaution of covering any carpeting/soft furnishings or can a ghost's stomach store (at least temporarily) a teaspoon or two of fresh man lard?

It's best to get it done onto something that can be cleaned, otherwise walking through walls will leave semen stains on the walls and your house will begin to smell like man lard.

3.Over what distance (if at all) can a phantasm spit?

It depends on the substance.

4.Would it be possible to get a ghost pregnant because, i imagine, with their famous 'walking-through-walls' abilities the normal male 'changing the locks' response would be rendered all but redundant.

The less ephemeral child would be unable to pass through the walls, most ghost pregnancies are thus ended before even the ghost knows they are pregnant.

5.If precautions need to be taken, would a holy spirit's ectoplasmic lubricant be likely to damage a standard prophylactic or is it mostly water-based like KY?

It's mostly sludge based and quite viscous but not very acidic, your condom should work fine.

6.Can one contract Ghost AIDS?

You can, but it is a pale image of actual AIDS and can usually be passed off as a case of acne, it is also temporary.

If anyone could help me out with these questions i'd be most obliged.

I will stress that time is of the essence though, as i have a hot date tonight with a simply stunning spook that i met at the old haunted graveyard last Saturday night. Thanks in advance.

Just don't get her mad, imagine a woman scorned that you cannot keep out of your house.

 

[Cancel3]

This whole - being fellated by a holy spirit (or even your common or garden ghost or spectre) bidness raises some important questions.

1.Is a spectral apparition capable of erogenous zone manipulation? I know they are supposed to be able to throw things but can it, say, work a gentleman's testicles expertly with its writing phantom tongue?

Probably more like a breeze or a cold sensation, if its a ghost. Deities are a completely different matter. Most have, according to legends, copulated with humans at one time or another.

2.When ejaculating into the gaping void of a ghostly mouth would one need to take the precaution of covering any carpeting/soft furnishings or can a ghost's stomach store (at least temporarily) a teaspoon or two of fresh man lard?

When have sexual relations with ghosts or gods, I would imagine carpest stains are the least of your worries. The idea of a goddess being angry because I rolled over and went to sleep after she fellated me is not very appealing. And a blowjob from a god that tells his followers homosexuality is "an abomination" would mean some serious mixed feelings are involved. Would god worry about being outed?

3.Over what distance (if at all) can a phantasm spit?

Ghosts can spit, but gods can send oral projectiles into orbit if necessary


4.Would it be possible to get a ghost pregnant because, i imagine, with their famous 'walking-through-walls' abilities the normal male 'changing the locks' response would be rendered all but redundant.

Yes, you can get a ghost pregnant. But no child support is required. You just have to provide them with attic space and a set of chains.

5.If precautions need to be taken, would a holy spirit's ectoplasmic lubricant be likely to damage a standard prophylactic or is it mostly water-based like KY?

ectoplasm makes a good lube, but friction is hard to come by.

6.Can one contract Ghost AIDS?

Its a little different. Instead of Human immunodeficiency virus, you contract spectral immunodeficiency virus or Divine immunodeficiency virus. With DIV one of the first symptoms is losing the ability to flood the planet in 40 days and nights.

If anyone could help me out with these questions i'd be most obliged.

I will stress that time is of the essence though, as i have a hot date tonight with a simply stunning spook that i met at the old haunted graveyard last Saturday night. Thanks in advance.

Hope this helped.

 

[evince]

Man lard?

That is a new one on me.