I hate thanksgiving

B

BRUTALITOPS

on indefiniate mod break
Contributor
It's boring.

Idiot relatives come over. Who I have to small talk with.

I hate turkey, it sucks. And I hate even more all the different smells of foods blending together.

I hate the macy's thanksgiving day parade. Why do they still have the charlie brown blimp? He's like 50-60 years old now. No one cares.

I hate learning about indians, and maze. and sasquatch or sacamento or whatever the fuck their names are.

I hate cranberry sauce. WHY DOES EVERYONE EAT THIS? FRUITY STUFF DOES NOT GO WELL WITH MEAT.

I hate when my dipshit aunt tries to get everyone around the table to say what they are thankful for. Putting everyone on the spot. When no one else wants to do it.

I hate the uncomfortable feeling when people are saying grace and I just sit there awkwardly.

I hate it even MORE when some asshole asks ME to say grace. I politely always decline, which leads to awkwardness... cause honestly, who does that?

I was in the hospital last year at this time. I was happy I was there so I could miss thanksgiving.

The only bonus is lots of beer and wine. which I will be having a lot of, to make the day as tolerable as possible.

Fuck thanksgiving.
 
I suggest you find a busy highway, and stand in the middle of it! This is sure to get you run over, and you can spend Thanksgiving in the hospital and be happy! You might also try sticking your head in the oven... jumping off a 4-story building, or taking a bottle of pain pills and washing it down with booze! Although, on Thanksgiving day in the hospital, they will still bring you a lunch tray with that processed turkey loaf stuff, some cranberry jelly, and what they claim is dressing.... and the nurse will wish you a Happy Thanksgiving! But you won't have to smell the food or feel like an outcast because you are the only person at your table who is a non-spiritual ungrateful nitwit.
 
Yeah, poor Grind, you have to hang out with people who want to give you food.

Try doing something like learning to cook something people will like that isn't turkey. I suggest turducken, it's delicious and wonderfully decadent.
 
No one cares, so continue to feel sorry for yourself.

RAARRRRR I'm a Dinosaur! said:
It's boring.

Idiot relatives come over. Who I have to small talk with.

I hate turkey, it sucks. And I hate even more all the different smells of foods blending together.

I hate the macy's thanksgiving day parade. Why do they still have the charlie brown blimp? He's like 50-60 years old now. No one cares.

I hate learning about indians, and maze. and sasquatch or sacamento or whatever the fuck their names are.

I hate cranberry sauce. WHY DOES EVERYONE EAT THIS? FRUITY STUFF DOES NOT GO WELL WITH MEAT.

I hate when my dipshit aunt tries to get everyone around the table to say what they are thankful for. Putting everyone on the spot. When no one else wants to do it.

I hate the uncomfortable feeling when people are saying grace and I just sit there awkwardly.

I hate it even MORE when some asshole asks ME to say grace. I politely always decline, which leads to awkwardness... cause honestly, who does that?

I was in the hospital last year at this time. I was happy I was there so I could miss thanksgiving.

The only bonus is lots of beer and wine. which I will be having a lot of, to make the day as tolerable as possible.

Fuck thanksgiving.
Click to expand...
 
Loss of 2 man points for Grind. Not liking turkey? Or the excuse to drink in excess and be belligerent and rude to your family? I LOVE THANKSGIVING!
 
Last edited:
RAARRRRR I'm a Dinosaur! said:
blow me.
Click to expand...
Wait. It gets worse. When you get older and get married you have to host the mother fucking dinner and put out a small fortune for food and work your ass off for three days to get it all ready and clean up afterwards and have your sisters 3 year old piss on your new recliner and your psycho Uncle going "Oh how cute" when his dog shits on your carpet. While you're father lectures you about what a fuck up you are for not sealing your drive way before it snows. Not to mention your house will reek of shit for a month because of great Aunt Lucy's leaking colostomy bag. Then you'll be eating dried out old left over turkey for the next three weeks till you get rid of the shit. Turkey casserole, turkey pot pie, turkey hash, turkey suckatash and more turkey till just the smell of it makes you spew chunks and want to chop your wife up with an axe for cooking a 50 fucking pound bird and just when you think you've gotten over the shit BAM! It's Mother Fucking Christmas time and your wife runs up 5 grand in credit card bills buying useless shit for your paste eating crumb snatchers who don't appreciate one god damned thing and show it by saying "Is that all?"

You think it's bad now? Son you aint seen shit you ungrateful little prick!

Oh yea


Happy Thanksgiving! :)
 
CaptBillyTheKid said:
Loss of 2 man points for Grind. Not liking turkey? Or the excuse to drink in excess and be belligerent and rude to your family? I LOVE THANKSGIVING!
Click to expand...
It's my favorite Holiday! My bro-inlaw is going to bring a fifth of Cobb Creek whiskey and I dropped by the tobacconist and snatched a handfull of fine cigars. My Mom (God Bless her, 71 and going strong!) is an awesome cook. By 3 pm tomorow I intend to be in a semi-comatose state watching football and sneaking off with my kid sister to do some bong hits.

When I lived in Charlotte I was single and 500 miles away from Family. Have you ever spent Thanksgiving at a topless bar? OK, that's not so bad either! :)
 
Last edited:
Ah, this will be my 2nd Thanksgiving in 34 years where I couldn't make it home. The 1st was when I lived in Denver 5 years ago and I couldn't make it. This year I had to work late today and have some crappy network shit to work on on friday.

But this holiday is truly great. The cousins and us brothers jamming guitars, getting picked on good beer and Bulleit Bourbon, the fine cigars and the end of the night reefer.... The great meal, the laughs.

Man, it really really makes a difference once you don't live on the same continent anymore. Seeing everyone has ten fold the value.
 
My bro-inlaw is going to bring a fifth of Cobb Creek whiskey
Click to expand...

I think you meant Knob Creek Whiskey.... some good stuff!

There was a Cobb's Creek Whisky, but it hasn't been distilled since the 1930s. The bottles are collector's items now, worth a small fortune.
 
Mott the Hoople said:
Wait. It gets worse. When you get older and get married you have to host the mother fucking dinner and put out a small fortune for food and work your ass off for three days to get it all ready and clean up afterwards and have your sisters 3 year old piss on your new recliner and your psycho Uncle going "Oh how cute" when his dog shits on your carpet. While you're father lectures you about what a fuck up you are for not sealing your drive way before it snows. Not to mention your house will reek of shit for a month because of great Aunt Lucy's leaking colostomy bag. Then you'll be eating dried out old left over turkey for the next three weeks till you get rid of the shit. Turkey casserole, turkey pot pie, turkey hash, turkey suckatash and more turkey till just the smell of it makes you spew chunks and want to chop your wife up with an axe for cooking a 50 fucking pound bird and just when you think you've gotten over the shit BAM! It's Mother Fucking Christmas time and your wife runs up 5 grand in credit card bills buying useless shit for your paste eating crumb snatchers who don't appreciate one god damned thing and show it by saying "Is that all?"

You think it's bad now? Son you aint seen shit you ungrateful little prick!

Oh yea


Happy Thanksgiving! :)
Click to expand...

Mott is like a walking cliche.
 
RAARRRRR I'm a Dinosaur! said:
It's boring.

Idiot relatives come over. Who I have to small talk with.

I hate turkey, it sucks. And I hate even more all the different smells of foods blending together.

I hate the macy's thanksgiving day parade. Why do they still have the charlie brown blimp? He's like 50-60 years old now. No one cares.

I hate learning about indians, and maze. and sasquatch or sacamento or whatever the fuck their names are.

I hate cranberry sauce. WHY DOES EVERYONE EAT THIS? FRUITY STUFF DOES NOT GO WELL WITH MEAT.

I hate when my dipshit aunt tries to get everyone around the table to say what they are thankful for. Putting everyone on the spot. When no one else wants to do it.

I hate the uncomfortable feeling when people are saying grace and I just sit there awkwardly.

I hate it even MORE when some asshole asks ME to say grace. I politely always decline, which leads to awkwardness... cause honestly, who does that?

I was in the hospital last year at this time. I was happy I was there so I could miss thanksgiving.

The only bonus is lots of beer and wine. which I will be having a lot of, to make the day as tolerable as possible.

Fuck thanksgiving.
Click to expand...

That's because you're an ingrate and a dweeb.
 
Dixie said:
I think you meant Knob Creek Whiskey.... some good stuff!

There was a Cobb's Creek Whisky, but it hasn't been distilled since the 1930s. The bottles are collector's items now, worth a small fortune.
Click to expand...
That's the stuff! Yea, he brought some last year and it was some good whiskey! :)
 
Mott the Hoople said:
Wait. It gets worse. When you get older and get married you have to host the mother fucking dinner and put out a small fortune for food and work your ass off for three days to get it all ready and clean up afterwards and have your sisters 3 year old piss on your new recliner and your psycho Uncle going "Oh how cute" when his dog shits on your carpet. While you're father lectures you about what a fuck up you are for not sealing your drive way before it snows. Not to mention your house will reek of shit for a month because of great Aunt Lucy's leaking colostomy bag. Then you'll be eating dried out old left over turkey for the next three weeks till you get rid of the shit. Turkey casserole, turkey pot pie, turkey hash, turkey suckatash and more turkey till just the smell of it makes you spew chunks and want to chop your wife up with an axe for cooking a 50 fucking pound bird and just when you think you've gotten over the shit BAM! It's Mother Fucking Christmas time and your wife runs up 5 grand in credit card bills buying useless shit for your paste eating crumb snatchers who don't appreciate one god damned thing and show it by saying "Is that all?"

You think it's bad now? Son you aint seen shit you ungrateful little prick!

Oh yea


Happy Thanksgiving! :)
Click to expand...


LOL! Really and truly, LOL! :p
 
Mott the Hoople said:
Wait. It gets worse. When you get older and get married you have to host the mother fucking dinner and put out a small fortune for food and work your ass off for three days to get it all ready and clean up afterwards and have your sisters 3 year old piss on your new recliner and your psycho Uncle going "Oh how cute" when his dog shits on your carpet. While you're father lectures you about what a fuck up you are for not sealing your drive way before it snows. Not to mention your house will reek of shit for a month because of great Aunt Lucy's leaking colostomy bag. Then you'll be eating dried out old left over turkey for the next three weeks till you get rid of the shit. Turkey casserole, turkey pot pie, turkey hash, turkey suckatash and more turkey till just the smell of it makes you spew chunks and want to chop your wife up with an axe for cooking a 50 fucking pound bird and just when you think you've gotten over the shit BAM! It's Mother Fucking Christmas time and your wife runs up 5 grand in credit card bills buying useless shit for your paste eating crumb snatchers who don't appreciate one god damned thing and show it by saying "Is that all?"

You think it's bad now? Son you aint seen shit you ungrateful little prick!

Oh yea


Happy Thanksgiving! :)
Click to expand...
I love living far enough from civilization that people ask you to go to their house and cook...
 
Damocles said:
I love living far enough from civilization that people ask you to go to their house and cook...
Click to expand...
My poor long suffering mother has hosted Thanksgiving for like the last 30 years. She gets picked on because she's the best cook in the family. I'm heading over there shortly to help her do the work. My sister is all ready over there. Even Dad pitches in to help though that's more trouble then it's worth. Mom usually sets him in a corner snapping beans.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top