Man arrested for having sex with a picnick table

[evince]

http://www.nbc10.com/news/15734256/detail.html

Wow now there is a cheap date.

 

[uscitizen]

And the article did not even say anything about him being a preacher ?

Buckeye, figures....

 

[Cancel7]

I would call that masturbation, not sex, but ok. Very weird.

 

[charver]

Terrible pun warning.

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Women complain that men do nothing around the house but when one chap takes it upon himself to lay the table all hell breaks loose.

LOL!!!!1!1!!!!111!ITOLDYOUITWASBAD!!111!111!!!!!11!!

 

[uscitizen]

Yeah, bad but funny. although I doubt that guy had any women around.

 

[TRGLDTE]

At least he cleans up after himself.

 

[evince]

well it was his own picnick table

 

[Minister of Truth]

So, who's the victim here?

 

[Epicurus]

So, who's the victim here?

The table.

 

[Minister of Truth]

The table.

Inanimate objects cannot qualify as victims. This man has committed a victimless crime.

 

[evince]

He lives near a school and the picnick table is on his deck which is in eyeshot of the school. Im sure its an indecent exposuer charge.

 

[FUCK THE POLICE]

One of my own personal rules is to not perform sexual acts within eyeshot of children, but hey, you guys can live by your own moral compass.

 

[evince]

well just buying them blinders doesnt count water.

 

[FUCK THE POLICE]

well just buying them blinders doesnt count water.

 

[Minister of Truth]

One of my own personal rules is to not perform sexual acts within eyeshot of children, but hey, you guys can live by your own moral compass.

Why? the human body and all of its marvelous functions are 100% natural. Unless the parts you use have undergone plastic surgery. Then its more like 78% natural...

 

[evince]

Do you think the picnick table had an umbrella hole in it or something?

I just cant help but try to figure it out.

 

[uscitizen]

yech, don't dwell on it too much Desh.

 

[BRUTALITOPS]

Terrible pun warning.

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Women complain that men do nothing around the house but when one chap takes it upon himself to lay the table all hell breaks loose.

LOL!!!!1!1!!!!111!ITOLDYOUITWASBAD!!111!111!!!!!11!!

fail -

 

[BRUTALITOPS]

it is a pretty hot table though

 

[Damocles]

So, who's the victim here?

Us, because we had to read the story.

They should arrest the editor that thought it was important enough to put it in the news.