My wife

[Dutch Uncle]

These dick suckers like you are trolling gay biker bars.

Not me. How many are named "Jake Max"? Just you?

 

[cancel2 2022]

Did here.

I'm funnier than you. lol

Light travels faster than sound, which is why people like you appear bright—until they open their mouths.

 

[AProudLefty]

Light travels faster than sound, which is why people like you appear bright—until they open their mouths.

Okay that was funny.

 

[Mott the Hoople]

That's mean but hilarious so it's okay.

I saw what I thought was a mouse turd in the silverware drawer so did the same thing ... emptied everything out, scrubbed with bleach, then complained bitterly to Mr. Owl that he had Better Do Something About This Intolerable Situation. He said that it wasn't a mouse turd; he had dropped some brownie crumbs in there while getting out a fork and thought he had cleaned them all up.

This is why men die in their sleep.

Tell me about it. For a month no female on my side of my family and the wife’s side of the family would talk to me because I had cheated on my wife in her dreams and I hadn’t apologized to her for doing something as cruel and heartless as cheating on her in her dreams. I finally apologized when my own mother threatened to disown me.

The crazy thing is that if she did kill me in my sleep, because I cheated on her in her dreams, she probably would have gotten away with it.

 

[jakemax]

Tell me about it. For a month no female on my side of my family and the wife’s side of the family would talk to me because I had cheated on my wife in her dreams and I hadn’t apologized to her for doing something as cruel and heartless as cheating on her in her dreams. I finally apologized when my own mother threatened to disown me.

The crazy thing is that if she did kill me in my sleep, because I cheated on her in her dreams, she probably would have gotten away with it.

Sounds like insanity runs in the family.

 

[ThatOwlWoman]

Tell me about it. For a month no female on my side of my family and the wife’s side of the family would talk to me because I had cheated on my wife in her dreams and I hadn’t apologized to her for doing something as cruel and heartless as cheating on her in her dreams. I finally apologized when my own mother threatened to disown me.

The crazy thing is that if she did kill me in my sleep, because I cheated on her in her dreams, she probably would have gotten away with it.

Of course! Just look at all the witnesses who would testify that she was at their house at the time. That's so funny.

 

[Mott the Hoople]

Sounds like insanity runs in the family.

True but usually you get it from your kids.