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B

BRUTALITOPS

on indefiniate mod break
Contributor
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eyes burn, im typing all of this with my eyes closed

Here are stories I rememebr from when I was six years old

when i was 6 i duct taped styrofoam wings to my powerwheels, and pushed myself off a hill, hoping to fly, it did not work

THat year I also tried to dig a hole to hell, but only got a few inches before I thought things were getting warm, and I got scared

Also that year (i was in kindergarten) my best friend betrayed me, and found a new best friend. I overheard them on the bus talking about how to kill me. They planned on digging a hole and putting a snake at the bottom, then covering the hole up with sticks and leaves so i would walk over and fall into the hole and die.

Another event: We had to do the mile run. I always hated this and had been perpetually pissed off at this practice since the dawn of time. I of course said fuck that shit and decided to walk the entire way, hoping to exert myself as little as possible. Before I knew it, I was one of the last ones on the track, and everyone was waiting for me.... and of course, the girl with downs syndrome. Her eyes were really weird. Everyone started cheering her on, A) because she was retarded and they wanted her to be proud of herself that she wasn't last, and also B) some assholes probably thought it would be funny if I lost to retard girl. I had never been so scared in my life up until this point, by the time I had realized this, she was already in front of me. I never ran so fast in my life. I would never have been able to live it down. I booked it so fast and overtook the lead. I'm talking kenyan style.

I fucking owned retard girl. She finished last place.
 
Last night I was drunk and decided to go get the dish I dropped down the mountain in the backyard, and ended up eating shit. Now my legs, back, neck and right shoulder are fucked up all stupid. And I had to have my roommates hoist me back up the hill. But do you see me starting threads about it? No, just replying to threads about it.
 
Beefy said:
Last night I was drunk and decided to go get the dish I dropped down the mountain in the backyard, and ended up eating shit. Now my legs, back, neck and right shoulder are fucked up all stupid. And I had to have my roommates hoist me back up the hill. But do you see me starting threads about it? No, just replying to threads about it.
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Lucky you, tomorrow is St. Patty's Day, because it sounds like you are going to be requiring hella beer and liquor for the time being!!!!!

:shots:
 
Yeah, the best party of the year out here tomorrow, and I can barely walk. I really fucked myself up last night. I don't know that I'll even make it.
 
After watching Mary Poppins I jumped off the porch railing with an umbrella and that didn't work either.

I used to try and use metal coat hangers as a bow to shoot arrows but they never sprung back and the arrow would just fall on the ground. :(

But by far the dumbest thing I ever did as a child was to pull the lever for a Democrat.
 
INFINITETELEMORESE said:
ooooooooooooooo
eyes burn, im typing all of this with my eyes closed

Here are stories I rememebr from when I was six years old

when i was 6 i duct taped styrofoam wings to my powerwheels, and pushed myself off a hill, hoping to fly, it did not work

THat year I also tried to dig a hole to hell, but only got a few inches before I thought things were getting warm, and I got scared

Also that year (i was in kindergarten) my best friend betrayed me, and found a new best friend. I overheard them on the bus talking about how to kill me. They planned on digging a hole and putting a snake at the bottom, then covering the hole up with sticks and leaves so i would walk over and fall into the hole and die.

Another event: We had to do the mile run. I always hated this and had been perpetually pissed off at this practice since the dawn of time. I of course said fuck that shit and decided to walk the entire way, hoping to exert myself as little as possible. Before I knew it, I was one of the last ones on the track, and everyone was waiting for me.... and of course, the girl with downs syndrome. Her eyes were really weird. Everyone started cheering her on, A) because she was retarded and they wanted her to be proud of herself that she wasn't last, and also B) some assholes probably thought it would be funny if I lost to retard girl. I had never been so scared in my life up until this point, by the time I had realized this, she was already in front of me. I never ran so fast in my life. I would never have been able to live it down. I booked it so fast and overtook the lead. I'm talking kenyan style.

I fucking owned retard girl. She finished last place.
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When I first worked at McDonalds there was a guy with Downs syndrome who was really slow and did little, working lobby (cleaning) and on top of that he ALWAYS had to work with someone else working lobby. They basically let him do whatever he wanted which was usually wiping off the same fucking table over and over or taking out the large trash in the back (which should have taken him 10 minutes but instead most of his shift) or he would lecture you about wiping trays the right way. Anyway big pain and annoying.
One time there was a guy named Dylan working with him who basically said on his break time "I don't get paid enough to babysit a retard" and this girl totally tore into him over it and he actually started crying in front of everyone. LOL
 
KingCondanomation said:
When I first worked at McDonalds there was a guy with Downs syndrome who was really slow and did little, working lobby (cleaning) and on top of that he ALWAYS had to work with someone else working lobby. They basically let him do whatever he wanted which was usually wiping off the same fucking table over and over or taking out the large trash in the back (which should have taken him 10 minutes but instead most of his shift) or he would lecture you about wiping trays the right way. Anyway big pain and annoying.
One time there was a guy named Dylan working with him who basically said on his break time "I don't get paid enough to babysit a retard" and this girl totally tore into him over it and he actually started crying in front of everyone. LOL
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Making a Downs Syndrome kid cry and laughing about.....yup....it's good to be a Republican!
 
When I was in high school they did their best to integrate the special ed kids in with the rest of us. Turns out some of the so called normal kids were way more retarded....be that as it may. Our Gym teacher was a neo-nazi Niedermeyer type. At the beginning of my sophomore year we had about 6 of the special ed kids in my PE class. Old Iron Britches went to start his boot camp lecture on the first day of class by getting up in front of us and telling us we had better all be in the gym, dressed up, gym shoes on and ready to go by the time the bell rang. No excuses excepted. None! Ya all hear me? NO EXCUSES EXCEPTED!

About this time one of the special ed kids with Downs Syndrome jumps up and starts waving her hand. Old Iron Britches looks at her and yells "What?"

She goes "Erdabedabodabusto Bettendorf! Erdabedabodabusto Bettendorf!"

Ole Iron Britches, who looked a bit confused and out of his depth, said "OK, I'll accept that excuse" and when he said that the rest of the class fell all over the place laughing. Boy was he pissed! :)
 
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Beefy said:
Going to the St. Patrick's thing. Its going to rule. I picked a few clovers from the back yard to give to available females in an attempt to break the ice with them and eventually mount them.
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Beefy, you and I are kindred spirits.
 
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