People that piss me off: Volume VI

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Uwaa OmO
Yet again, I must tell you all about some PEOPLE THAT PISS ME OFF.

Today has nothing to do with road rage (don't worry, there are still plenty cock smugglers on the road to enrage me). No, today I'm dealing with people even dumber. Today it's waitresses/waiters that won't bring me a damn beer list.

It's happened enough now to where it makes my blood boil as soon as I hear it. I'll go into a pretty snazzy place, one that I know will have a decent selection of brew. And naturally I'll want to have some. So when the server asks what I would like to drink, I ask for a beer list (if one isn't readily present). And then it starts. The words that make me want to reach up and rip out their larynx.

"we have pretty much everything"

Oh really now? Is that a fact? Most microbrew stores don't have 'pretty much everything' so you guys must be top shelf.

"Well then I'd like a Chimay white"
"Is that a wine?"
"No, it's a beer" I try to smile and make it seem like no big deal. "What about Founders RIS?"
"Uhhh no..."
"A porter?"
"No...."
"I thought you said you have everything?"
"Well we have Bud light golden wheat"

At this point I've given up on asking for beer and just order water. And then leave. You don't deserve my money if you can't hire someone to bring me a fucking beer list.

It's not that them not having the beer that pisses me off. You have to make cost effective decisions. But hiring someone who won't take 5 fucking seconds to get me a list of your beer isn't one of them. And it's not good for your career as a server, because I won't give you a tip if you provide shitty service like that. And I'm a good fucking tip (usually 30% or more).
 
"After the first day of a world brewing convention in the states, the CEO's of various brewing organizations retire to the bar.

Bruce, the CEO of Fosters, shouts to the barman: "In 'Straiyla, we make the best beer in the world, so pour me a Fosters mate.

Bob, CEO of Budweiser calls out next: "In the States we brew the finest beer known to mankind and I make the king of them all. Gimme a Bud".

Hans steps up next: "In Germany we invented das beer. Give me ein Becks, der real King of beers."

Paddy, CEO of Guinness steps forward: "Barman give me a diet coke with ice and lemon please." The others stare at him in stunned silence, amazement written over their faces. Eventually Bruce asks: "Are you not going to have a Guinness Pat?" To which Paddy replies "Well, if you pussies aren't drinking, then neither am I". "
 
Dude just wants to know what kind of beer they have, it shouldn't be that hard to get that information. If they want my money just bring me a list of the fricking beers the place sells for gawds' sakes..
 
Southern Man said:
Dude should have figgered the bar out by lack of ferns. "Pretty much everything" means Bud and Miller Lite. :palm:
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The point is that the waitress should be able to bring a list of beers that they serve.

I have been in some rough looking bars that had an excellent selection of brews, and some fancy places that didn't.

Print a list of beers, jeez.
 
CaptBillyTheKid said:
Yet again, I must tell you all about some PEOPLE THAT PISS ME OFF.

Today has nothing to do with road rage (don't worry, there are still plenty cock smugglers on the road to enrage me). No, today I'm dealing with people even dumber. Today it's waitresses/waiters that won't bring me a damn beer list.

It's happened enough now to where it makes my blood boil as soon as I hear it. I'll go into a pretty snazzy place, one that I know will have a decent selection of brew. And naturally I'll want to have some. So when the server asks what I would like to drink, I ask for a beer list (if one isn't readily present). And then it starts. The words that make me want to reach up and rip out their larynx.

"we have pretty much everything"

Oh really now? Is that a fact? Most microbrew stores don't have 'pretty much everything' so you guys must be top shelf.

"Well then I'd like a Chimay white"
"Is that a wine?"
"No, it's a beer" I try to smile and make it seem like no big deal. "What about Founders RIS?"
"Uhhh no..."
"A porter?"
"No...."
"I thought you said you have everything?"
"Well we have Bud light golden wheat"

At this point I've given up on asking for beer and just order water. And then leave. You don't deserve my money if you can't hire someone to bring me a fucking beer list.

It's not that them not having the beer that pisses me off. You have to make cost effective decisions. But hiring someone who won't take 5 fucking seconds to get me a list of your beer isn't one of them. And it's not good for your career as a server, because I won't give you a tip if you provide shitty service like that. And I'm a good fucking tip (usually 30% or more).
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The best advice I can give you is to talk to the bartender instead of the waitress (if possible). They tend to know the details of the beers better than the wait staff
 
Billy, how can you possibly "give up" on ordering beers when you obviously requested ones you knew they wouldn't have (except for "a porter" perhaps). Hell, even asking for a Guinness may have paid off...
 
T&A said:
Billy, how can you possibly "give up" on ordering beers when you obviously requested ones you knew they wouldn't have (except for "a porter" perhaps). Hell, even asking for a Guinness may have paid off...
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The first one was to be sarcastic and hopefully get my wish for a beer list. After that I'm realistic. And there is a place around here that serves Chimay. At $18 a glass.
 
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