Polygamy and Polyamory -

[Canceled.2014.1]

I got into a discussion a few days ago about polygamy and polyamory.

Polygamy has been outlawed for quite some time. But I am curious as to whether people think it should still be outlawed. If the consenting adults know what they are getting into, why make it against the law? I understand that there would be some different issues if there were to be a divorce, so I could see requiring a pre-nup agreement.

Polyamory is a bit different since there is no gov't involvement. I know a few "polys" and they seem to be happy with their arrangements, be it a couple with a third or 3 people involved in a serious relationship.

Discuss?

 

[Phantasmal]

I got into a discussion a few days ago about polygamy and polyamory.

Polygamy has been outlawed for quite some time. But I am curious as to whether people think it should still be outlawed. If the consenting adults know what they are getting into, why make it against the law? I understand that there would be some different issues if there were to be a divorce, so I could see requiring a pre-nup agreement.

Polyamory is a bit different since there is no gov't involvement. I know a few "polys" and they seem to be happy with their arrangements, be it a couple with a third or 3 people involved in a serious relationship.

Discuss?

I am very much a supporter of "consenting adults" being allowed to do as they please.

I am too selfish to share, so it would not be a lifestyle choice for me.

 

[Timshel]

It should not be a crime but the state's interest in dissolution and child custody is complicated by a polygamous marriage. Also, if one becomes incapacitated due to illness and is married to two women/men who is empowered to make decisions for them? How is inheritance affected?

 

[Phantasmal]

It should not be a crime but the state's interest in dissolution and child custody is complicated by a polygamous marriage. Also, if one becomes incapacitated due to illness and is married to two women/men who is empowered to make decisions for them? How is inheritance affected?

Good points and things that need to be considered.

 

[Jarod]

I have no problem with Polygamy in theory.

In the past it was outlawed because many women were uneducated and it was used as a tool to abuse them. Now, consenting adults have a right to do what they choose, as long as they know about it.

Now I woud say it would require consent of all parties, meaning that some man should not be allowed to go out and marry another woman if the first woman did not give informed consent, because it would materially affect the first womans rights.

Additionally, we would have to change many laws such as Social Security benefits and Medicare elegability.

The only real issue I see that may not be cureable would be a situation where a moderatly low earning spouce marry's three dependent spouces... the three dependent spouces forgoe an education then later divorce... the income of the one spouce would not have enough alamony to support the ex's and they would then become dependent on the State...

This however is not much different if the spouce had simply married them one at a time.

 

[Disillusioned]

I've got a simple position, consenting adults. It doesn't affect me and I have no stake in it, so why should I get a say? I don't care what they do as long as nobody is hurt by it.

 

[Billy the Great Khan]

It should not be a crime but the state's interest in dissolution and child custody is complicated by a polygamous marriage. Also, if one becomes incapacitated due to illness and is married to two women/men who is empowered to make decisions for them? How is inheritance affected?

I'd say, and this is only my thoughts, that in such cases it should be determined by seniority of marriage.

 

[Timshel]

I'd say, and this is only my thoughts, that in such cases it should be determined by seniority of marriage.

That would work, but this requires a legislative solution. That is, the slippery slope arguments regarding polygamy and same sex marriage are invalid. The courts can intervene in the latter but not in the former as it would require quite a few changes to the laws and affects a valid state interest.

I don't have anything against polygamy but it is quite a different issue than same sex marriage.

 

[Don Quixote]

I got into a discussion a few days ago about polygamy and polyamory.

Polygamy has been outlawed for quite some time. But I am curious as to whether people think it should still be outlawed. If the consenting adults know what they are getting into, why make it against the law? I understand that there would be some different issues if there were to be a divorce, so I could see requiring a pre-nup agreement.

Polyamory is a bit different since there is no gov't involvement. I know a few "polys" and they seem to be happy with their arrangements, be it a couple with a third or 3 people involved in a serious relationship.

Discuss?

i think that all forms of marriage between 2 or more consenting adults should be legal

what about polyandry?

however, it is when marriages dissolve that things get sticky

 

[Don Quixote]

It should not be a crime but the state's interest in dissolution and child custody is complicated by a polygamous marriage. Also, if one becomes incapacitated due to illness and is married to two women/men who is empowered to make decisions for them? How is inheritance affected?

we would probably need new laws to cover plural marriages, that or pre-nups

 

[Billy the Great Khan]

That would work, but this requires a legislative solution. That is, the slippery slope arguments regarding polygamy and same sex marriage are invalid. The courts can intervene in the latter but not in the former as it would require quite a few changes to the laws and affects a valid state interest.

I don't have anything against polygamy but it is quite a different issue than same sex marriage.

Well, the way I would do it, is again based on seniority. Say my wife and I got married. That would be the senior marriage. Then I someone else. While wife 2 would be legally married to me, she would not receive benefits of marriage like the Senior wife would. Her marriage to me would be ancillary. She would need to marry someone else, someone unmarried, to have a senior marriage.

 

[Don Quixote]

Well, the way I would do it, is again based on seniority. Say my wife and I got married. That would be the senior marriage. Then I someone else. While wife 2 would be legally married to me, she would not receive benefits of marriage like the Senior wife would. Her marriage to me would be ancillary. She would need to marry someone else, someone unmarried, to have a senior marriage.

two possible solutions, incorporate or have a good prenup

 

[BRUTALITOPS]

It should not be a crime but the state's interest in dissolution and child custody is complicated by a polygamous marriage. Also, if one becomes incapacitated due to illness and is married to two women/men who is empowered to make decisions for them? How is inheritance affected?

child custody is complicated with monogamous relationships. Two places of residence for the child, two sets of friends sometimes, they don't always get to see their parents. every holiday involves scheduling and shuffling around

We are just used to that shit, but it's never easy.

I will say, it sounds like a valid argument. Imagine if a 3 couple adopted a child, and there was a 3 way divorce. You going to shuffle the kid to 3 different residences now? What if it were a 5 couple?

But on the other hand, we already have complicated living arrangements in our society.

 

[Don Quixote]

child custody is complicated with monogamous relationships. Two places of residence for the child, two sets of friends sometimes, they don't always get to see their parents. every holiday involves scheduling and shuffling around

We are just used to that shit, but it's never easy.

I will say, it sounds like a valid argument. Imagine if a 3 couple adopted a child, and there was a 3 way divorce. You going to shuffle the kid to 3 different residences now? What if it were a 5 couple?

But on the other hand, we already have complicated living arrangements in our society.

yes, we already practice serial marriages... the dynamics of children from more than one marriage already exist

 

[Airstrip One]

If marriage is no longer husband-wife, then go nuts.

 

[wanderingbear]

I got into a discussion a few days ago about polygamy and polyamory.

Polygamy has been outlawed for quite some time. But I am curious as to whether people think it should still be outlawed. If the consenting adults know what they are getting into, why make it against the law? I understand that there would be some different issues if there were to be a divorce, so I could see requiring a pre-nup agreement.

Polyamory is a bit different since there is no gov't involvement. I know a few "polys" and they seem to be happy with their arrangements, be it a couple with a third or 3 people involved in a serious relationship.

Discuss?

There is no reason for it to be illegal.Monogamy Is just another Christian belief.

 

[Billy the Great Khan]

There is no reason for it to be illegal.Monogamy Is just another Christian belief.

Uhhh....no, it's not. It's been a pretty common concept for most of civilization.

 

[Auster]

Gay marriage isnt even 'done' yet, and this isn't the only thread or forum raving about this.

Disguisting display of excess and moral coruption. I suppose while they have momentum they'll push it, although our politicians don't seem to be behind it. . . yet.

What makes anyone here think polyamory/polygamy will do a thing to stabilize marriages, given the fragile and fickle nature of truely equal 'love triangles'? If anything this only complicates every legal and social aspect of life when a more informal is legal even today.

 

[Don Quixote]

Gay marriage isnt even 'done' yet, and this isn't the only thread or forum raving about this.

Disguisting display of excess and moral coruption. I suppose while they have momentum they'll push it, although our politicians don't seem to be behind it. . . yet.

What makes anyone here think polyamory/polygamy will do a thing to stabilize marriages, given the fragile and fickle nature of truely equal 'love triangles'? If anything this only complicates every legal and social aspect of life when a more informal is legal even today.

i was associated with an organization called family synergy for a while. it was devoted to forms of alternative relationships. i had an occasion to read various studies on group marriages. one of the studies said that the best group marriages were formed by people that had formed close relationships during high school or earlier. they were not as easy to form by older people unless they were vary idealistic or dedicated. those relationships that survived were excellent for their children.

 

[Damocles]

So long as it is informed consent between adults it should be legal.