Science provides rare insight to a phenom JPP conservative men have never encountered

  • Thread starter Thread starter Guns Guns Guns
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To answer the OP's question, encountered yes, numerous times, experienced no, I have a request into the gawd of reincarnation to bring me back as a woman, as shit we men are lucky for 45 seconds of intensity while women are...... motion it do matter. ;) It ain't the .... it's how long ....

Just for fun I recently consulted the Conservative republican's sex for the holier than thou bunch and this is what it said:

First, your wife must be ovulating, you can confirm this through the rhythm method or counting days between periods. Then at night, for sex can only occur at night in the dark, signal each other by sitting on your twin beds with Bible and a quiet prayer, next choose a bed to consummate the holy act. It is best to wait till late night so as to be tired and not overly passionate. After brushing your teeth and gargling, kiss twice lightly, anything more passionate would be perverted for the act of creation requires the correct mood. Remain dressed and keep your top garment on so as not to rub bodies and forget the noble act you are about to perform. Man on top wakes up junior and locate the proper place for junior. A few thrusts later you will feel a pleasurable sensation, let your wife know so she can raise her legs to aid conception, while hardly orgasmic in body, her mind is pleased and hopeful creation has taken place and another wingnut will see the light. The act now over husband showers for twenty minutes, then they touch hands across beds, silently praying that their human passion was respective of the act of creation. Anything more passionate and messy would be perverted in the minds of wingnuts, now sleep easy knowing you remained holy and are now done with so human an act for another month. Gawd luvs you.

(Paraphrased from the Wingnut Bible on sex as it should be performed.)
 
Aoxomoxoa said:
A prostitute is recently diagnosed with heart trouble but decides to go to "work" anyway.
She is approached by a potential customer and tells him, "It's gonna be 50 dollars, but I have to tell you, I have acute angina."
He replies, "Well I hope so, because your face is no oil painting."
Click to expand...

Zzzzzzzzz
 
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