Serious Question

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OG Yurt

Hi
Please don't fuck this thread up with hate on Yurt, I have a serious question and want to remain anonymous, IOW, not talk to family about it. Thank you in advance.

My ex wife's daughter (not mine) contacted me some time ago. I asked why are you contacting me, I don't understand. She said her mom still talks about me and she wanted to get to know me. So I started chatting with her on Facebook.

Her situation is bleak. She has never asked for help or money. I stupidly said I might be able to help with college....

Not a contract, but WTF am I thinking!? Should I even be talking with her?

And yes, she is over 18, 21 I think.
 
OG Yurt said:
Please don't fuck this thread up with hate on Yurt, I have a serious question and want to remain anonymous, IOW, not talk to family about it. Thank you in advance.

My ex wife's daughter (not mine) contacted me some time ago. I asked why are you contacting me, I don't understand. She said her mom still talks about me and she wanted to get to know me. So I started chatting with her on Facebook.

Her situation is bleak. She has never asked for help or money. I stupidly said I might be able to help with college....

Not a contract, but WTF am I thinking!? Should I even be talking with her?

And yes, she is over 18, 21 I think.
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I see NOTHING wrong with talking to her and possibly helping her out.
 
21 days said:
did you know her when she was young? like has she ever met you before?
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No. But her mom talked about me a lot apparently. I didn't know she existed and I first I didn't care, but then she kept writing and I stupidly thought, well, what if she were my daughter.

I am 99 percent sure she is not mine. And she has never claimed to be mine. And hasn't asked for money. So I am like what the fook!
 
OG Yurt said:
No. But her mom talked about me a lot apparently. I didn't know she existed and I first I didn't care, but then she kept writing and I stupidly thought, well, what if she were my daughter.

I am 99 percent sure she is not mine. And she has never claimed to be mine. And hasn't asked for money. So I am like what the fook!
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the way I see it, you literally have zero connection to her. She's basically a complete rando. She's not your blood, and you didn't raise her, or even know her. She's basically is a stranger from your description.
 
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I don't feel comfortable with this.

I think I am going to end it unless someone gives a compelling argument otherwise.
 
i mean, is it really any different from any other relationship where there is a breakup and then the ex randomly has a kid at some point? she doesn't have anything to do with you. my ex girlfriend has a kid now... it has nothing to do with me. I don't see how an ex-wife makes the situation any different.
 
OG Yurt said:
No. But her mom talked about me a lot apparently. I didn't know she existed and I first I didn't care, but then she kept writing and I stupidly thought, well, what if she were my daughter.

I am 99 percent sure she is not mine. And she has never claimed to be mine. And hasn't asked for money. So I am like what the fook!
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Sound like peronal problems.
 
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21 days said:
i mean, is it really any different from any other relationship where there is a breakup and then the ex randomly has a kid at some point? she doesn't have anything to do with you. my ex girlfriend has a kid now... it has nothing to do with me. I don't see how an ex-wife makes the situation any different.
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OK.

But why should I have anything to do with her? If I was her dad, yes. Even if she was a child from another dad when I was married to her mom, totally understand.

But that never happened. Why in the heck is she even talking to me? And again, once I started talking with her, I realized, shit, what I am doing.

I am not her father. Yet she wants to talk with me like I am. Good Lord Yurt :palm:
 
21 days said:
the way I see it, you literally have zero connection to her. She's basically a complete rando. She's not your blood, and you didn't raise her, or even know her. She's basically is a stranger from your description.
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Yes. And no, I don't know of any DNA test. She hasn't brought it up.

Look, I know I have more money than her mom/dad, but she hasn't asked for anything. And no way I am giving her anything.

Weirdest shit in my personal life I've encountered. Should I hire an attorney 👽
 
OG Yurt said:
Please don't fuck this thread up with hate on Yurt, I have a serious question and want to remain anonymous, IOW, not talk to family about it. Thank you in advance.

My ex wife's daughter (not mine) contacted me some time ago. I asked why are you contacting me, I don't understand. She said her mom still talks about me and she wanted to get to know me. So I started chatting with her on Facebook.

Her situation is bleak. She has never asked for help or money. I stupidly said I might be able to help with college....

Not a contract, but WTF am I thinking!? Should I even be talking with her?

And yes, she is over 18, 21 I think.
Click to expand...

If you feel like helping her out and can swing it, why not? 'Helping' doesn't imply" Will Foot The Entire Bill" in a legal sense, either. Is your Ex a Psycho Mom? I've helped some people out I'm not related to and don't feel like a sucker, but others' results may vary.
 
Chuck said:
If you feel like helping her out and can swing it, why not? 'Helping' doesn't imply" Will Foot The Entire Bill" in a legal sense, either. Is your Ex a Psycho Mom? I've helped some people out I'm not related to and don't feel like a sucker, but others' results may vary.
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Nice post, Chuck. I feel the same way about his situation.
 
you guys are retarded, and trying to make yurt a cuck. He literally has nothing to do with this person. She's a stranger.

I understand if he was around a while as like a stepdad or something. Or even if she was just an estranged child where he left right after she was born or something. Obv in that scenario you could get to know her and maybe help her. That's fine. But... lots of people in this thread have ex girlfriends that moved on with their lives and started families and none of that has anything to do with you. Should everyone start contacting the daugther of all their high school sweethearts? that's basically what you are advocating. Yurt has nothing to do with this woman in any way shape or form. Based on what yurt has said in this thread so far, she's a complete random, and honestly it's not doing anyone any favors if yurt tries to play surrogate dad to this person. I don't know, the whole thing just seems really weird.
 
Chuck said:
If you feel like helping her out and can swing it, why not? 'Helping' doesn't imply" Will Foot The Entire Bill" in a legal sense, either. Is your Ex a Psycho Mom? I've helped some people out I'm not related to and don't feel like a sucker, but others' results may vary.
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The ex is irrelevant. The daughter does not even talk with her anymore. According to the daughter, it has been 3 to 4 years.

I appreciate your advice.
 
21 days said:
you guys are retarded, and trying to make yurt a cuck. He literally has nothing to do with this person. She's a stranger.

I understand if he was around a while as like a stepdad or something. Or even if she was just an estranged child where he left right after she was born or something. Obv in that scenario you could get to know her and maybe help her. That's fine. But... lots of people in this thread have ex girlfriends that moved on with their lives and started families and none of that has anything to do with you. Should everyone start contacting the daugther of all their high school sweethearts? that's basically what you are advocating. Yurt has nothing to do with this woman in any way shape or form. Based on what yurt has said in this thread so far, she's a complete random, and honestly it's not doing anyone any favors if yurt tries to play surrogate dad to this person. I don't know, the whole thing just seems really weird.
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WTF?

Surrogate dad?

What is wrong with you? Hypothetically I need another kid, who is an adult, so fucking what if I want to help this person related to my past? She knows her mom is not a good person, her father is a massive loser and she comes to me for help.

Am I a loser if I want to help her? Am I loser of I don't want to help her? Should I just ignore her and maybe she becomes a poor loser without anyone helping her?

AGAIN, she has NOT ASKED FOR MONEY, just ADVICE given my education and profession.

If it goes beyond that, I should be concerned.

But at this very point, am I doing wrong!!?
 
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