Socially Unacceptable Jokes

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Canceled.2014.1

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I was in bed with a blind girl last night and she said that I had the
biggest 'member' she had ever laid her hands on. I said, "You're pulling
my leg."


I saw a poor old lady fall over today on the ice!! At least I presume
she was poor - she only had $1.20 in her purse.


My girlfriend thinks that I'm a stalker. Well, she's not exactly my
girlfriend yet.

Went for my routine checkup today and everything seemed to be going fine until he stuck his index finger up my ass! Do you think I should change dentists?

A wife says to her husband, "You're always pushing me around and talking behind my back." "He says, what do you expect? You're in a wheel chair."

I was explaining to my wife last night that when you die you get
reincarnated but must come back as a different creature. She said she
would like to come back as a cow. I said, "You're obviously not
listening."

The wife has been missing a week now. Police said to prepare for the
worst. So, I have been to the thrift shop to get all of her clothes
back.

At the Senior Citizens Center they had a contest the other day. I
lost by one point: The question was: Where do women mostly have
curly hair? Apparently, the correct answer was Africa!!!


There's a new Muslim clothing shop that opened in our shopping center, but
I've been banned from it after asking to look at some of the new
bomber jackets.

You can say lots of bad things about pedophiles but at least they
drive slowly past schools.

A buddy of mine has just told me he's getting it on with his
girlfriend and her twin. I said, "How can you tell them apart?" He
said, "Her brother's got a mustache."

Just put a deposit down on a brand new Porsche and mentioned it on
Facebook. I said, "I can't wait for the new 911 to arrive!" Next
thing I know 4,000 Muslims have added me as a friend!!

Being a modest man, when I checked into my hotel on a recent trip, I
said to the lady at the registration desk, "I hope the porn channel in
my room is disabled." To which she replied, "No, it's regular
people-porn, you sick bastard."

The Red Cross just knocked at our door and asked if we could help towards the floods in Pakistan. I said we would love to, but our garden hose only reaches the driveway
 
Eh. I laughed a little at the pedophile and disabled porn ones, but otherwise not too funny. Of course, I am "PC to a fault" winterborn, I don't know if you have heard? My friends would fall down in shock upon hearing the news.

Good to see you back btw!
 
A man with Ceberal Palsey comes home from work one day and shuffles into the kitchen where his wife, who also has Ceberal Palsey is making dinner.

He gesticulates oddly, as CP folks do, sniffs the air and stammers.....Mmmmm ahhh thhat smmmells ggggreat....ahh wawawhats fffor duhduhdinner.

His wife stammers back to him....iiiit's rararoast bububeef.

The man gives her a curious look and say's "Bububut wawawhere are thethe vavavegetables?

She stammers back......thuthuthere nununot home frufrom school yet.
 
Darla said:
Eh. I laughed a little at the pedophile and disabled porn ones, but otherwise not too funny. Of course, I am "PC to a fault" winterborn, I don't know if you have heard? My friends would fall down in shock upon hearing the news.

Good to see you back btw!
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HOW CAN YOU LAUGH AT SUCH THINGS? everything should be taken seriously! We can't joke or laugh about things that are bad! Darla are you secretly an ableist?
 
I was once an ableist, before I was told how ableist I was being, then I became more enlightened. It could be unconscious ableism darla.
 
KingofOwls said:
HOW CAN YOU LAUGH AT SUCH THINGS? everything should be taken seriously! We can't joke or laugh about things that are bad! Darla are you secretly an ableist?
Click to expand...

I am like the least pc person you could know irl. I don't know why people think otherwise here. I will slap sexist stuff down, but I can laugh at most stuff. I left a website over that ableist shit.

But here's the thing grind, I know when a man ain't kidding, you know. And I know when a pig is saying sexist shit he really believes so he can be called on it, and then bring out that whole, oh you have no sense of humor canard.
 
A guy gets out of prison after a couple of yrs and is horny. He goes to a pimp and says he doesnt have a lot of money but wants to bump uglies with a woman, its been a long time. Pimp tells him, no problem, to go to room 7. When he opens the door theres no light bulb but in the shadows he sees the outline of a woman on the bed. He cant wait so he strips and jumps on her and does his thing. When he comes all this ooze flows out of her nose and mouth and he freaks. Grabs his clothes and runs back to the pimp saying there's something wrong with the woman in #7. Pimp says, no problem and gets on his phone and says 'hey louie, go to room 7, the dead ones full again'.


Sorry
 
Darla said:
I am like the least pc person you could know irl. I don't know why people think otherwise here. I will slap sexist stuff down, but I can laugh at most stuff. I left a website over that ableist shit.

But here's the thing grind, I know when a man ain't kidding, you know. And I know when a pig is saying sexist shit he really believes so he can be called on it, and then bring out that whole, oh you have no sense of humor canard.
Click to expand...

you being unpc brings me great joy.
 
Crashk said:
A guy gets out of prison after a couple of yrs and is horny. He goes to a pimp and says he doesnt have a lot of money but wants to bump uglies with a woman, its been a long time. Pimp tells him, no problem, to go to room 7. When he opens the door theres no light bulb but in the shadows he sees the outline of a woman on the bed. He cant wait so he strips and jumps on her and does his thing. When he comes all this ooze flows out of her nose and mouth and he freaks. Grabs his clothes and runs back to the pimp saying there's something wrong with the woman in #7. Pimp says, no problem and gets on his phone and says 'hey louie, go to room 7, the dead ones full again'.


Sorry
Click to expand...

That wins hands down for the sickest joke so far! :)
 
Same guy goes across the street and says he doesnt want to have sex but would like to lay on his back and eat a woman's you know what. Pimp says no problem and tells him to go to room #7. When he gets there he first tries the light and it works and theres a live, nude, inviting woman on the bed. When he puts his mouth on her privates mashed potatoes and green bean type mush fills his mouth, he looks at her and she smiles so he continues. Roast beef and pie fill his mouth, he spits and asks her, 'woman are you sick?' and she says 'no, but the guy before you was'.

I swear I will tell no more jokes.
 
Crashk said:
Same guy goes across the street and says he doesnt want to have sex but would like to lay on his back and eat a woman's you know what. Pimp says no problem and tells him to go to room #7. When he gets there he first tries the light and it works and theres a live, nude, inviting woman on the bed. When he puts his mouth on her privates mashed potatoes and green bean type mush fills his mouth, he looks at her and she smiles so he continues. Roast beef and pie fill his mouth, he spits and asks her, 'woman are you sick?' and she says 'no, but the guy before you was'.

I swear I will tell no more jokes.
Click to expand...

You've killed this thread stone dead.
 
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