Skimming through the many topics on YouTube, I've come across an interesting trend. It seems that among a LOT of women "sex relationship" therapist/coaches there is an emphasis for the man to be more "vulnerable" in order for a relationship (short term, long term, traditional marriage) to work better.
Now the dictionary definition of "vulnerable" is being capable of being physically or emotionally wounded or open to attack or damage. Now humans wake up in the morning "vulnerable" to acts of God, disease, crime, accidents, a variety of failures and death. So, in my mind this kind of severely lowers the fear and importance of "emotional vulnerability" when it comes to a relationship ... be it rejection or ridicule.
What really struck me was one popular lady in this venue who states; "Having sex is extremely vulnerable because we are letting of control to feel pleasure." My question to that is, what "control" is lost during sex? I the "threat" debilitating humility or embarrassment regarding performance? If not, then what is the threat?
In my humble opinion, the definition of "vulnerable" has become VERY subjective in its use in the dynamic of the man/woman relations among sex/relationship coaches, therapist, analysts, etc., to be point of exaggeration. And that is more damaging and misleading than anything.
What's your take on the subject?
I fully agree with you, Tacky.
To me, it begins with the concept of "fuck."
"Fuck" is a great word to use as a basically meaningless expletive,
but a truly horrid choice of a word to describe physical intimacy.
"Fuck" implies something that you do
TO somebody.
Physical intimacy, coitus, or however you wish to describe sexual congress
is something you do
WITH somebody for the mutual enjoyment of both.
The physical domination of males has resulted in a
Handmade Tales attitude
toward sex that make women feel more like victims than partners.
Evolution is doing its best to change that
because the species lives better with a better attitude toward sex.
The progress is certainly visible,
but its also very far from complete.
The survival of the species now requires not maximum propagation
but rather population control--this Earth cannot support eight billion people.
Sex must be regarded primarily as a physical pleasure and secondarily a procreation process.
Note the attitude of political Neanderthals on the subject, though.
They clearly illustrate their evolutionary retardation.
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