Top ten jokes from this year's Edinburgh Fringe Festival.

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cancel2 2022

Canceled
The top ten jokes at Edinburgh were:

1. ‘Working at the Jobcentre has to be a tense job – knowing that if you get fired, you still have to come in the next day’ – Adam Rowe

2. ‘I had a job drilling holes for water – it was well boring’ – Leo Kearse

3. ‘I took out a loan to pay for an exorcism. If I don’t pay it back, I’m going to get repossessed’ – Olaf Falafel

4. ‘In my last relationship, I hated being treated like a piece of meat. She was a vegan and refused to touch me’ – Daniel Audritt

5. ‘What do colour blind people do when they are told to eat their greens?’ – Flo and Joan

6. ‘I’ve got a new job collecting all the jumpers left in the park at the weekends, but it’s not easy. They keep moving the goalposts’ – Darren Walsh

7. ‘Trump said he’d build a wall but he hasn’t even picked up a brick. He’s just another middle-aged man failing on a DIY project’ – Justin Moorhouse

8. ‘I lost a friend after we had an argument about the Tardis. I thought it was a little thing, but it seemed much bigger once we got into it’ – Adele Cliff

9. ‘Why are they calling it Brexit and not The Great British Break Off?’ – Alex Edelman

10. ‘I think love is like central heating. You turn it on before guests arrive and pretend it’s like this all the time’ – Laura Lexx.
 
Havana Moon said:
The top ten jokes at Edinburgh were:

1. ‘Working at the Jobcentre has to be a tense job – knowing that if you get fired, you still have to come in the next day’ – Adam Rowe

2. ‘I had a job drilling holes for water – it was well boring’ – Leo Kearse

3. ‘I took out a loan to pay for an exorcism. If I don’t pay it back, I’m going to get repossessed’ – Olaf Falafel

4. ‘In my last relationship, I hated being treated like a piece of meat. She was a vegan and refused to touch me’ – Daniel Audritt

5. ‘What do colour blind people do when they are told to eat their greens?’ – Flo and Joan

6. ‘I’ve got a new job collecting all the jumpers left in the park at the weekends, but it’s not easy. They keep moving the goalposts’ – Darren Walsh

7. ‘Trump said he’d build a wall but he hasn’t even picked up a brick. He’s just another middle-aged man failing on a DIY project’ – Justin Moorhouse

8. ‘I lost a friend after we had an argument about the Tardis. I thought it was a little thing, but it seemed much bigger once we got into it’ – Adele Cliff

9. ‘Why are they calling it Brexit and not The Great British Break Off?’ – Alex Edelman

10. ‘I think love is like central heating. You turn it on before guests arrive and pretend it’s like this all the time’ – Laura Lexx.
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1. 2/10
2. 1/10
3. 2/10
4. 0/10
5. 0/10
6. 0/10
7. 3/10
8. 0/10
9. 0/10
10. 1/10

Poor Tom.
 
Here's one your friend guno told me:

A Rabbi with a frog on his shoulder walk into a Bar.
The Bartender looks at the Frog, then looks at the Rabbi. The Bartender asks: "What will you have?"
The Frog says: "Two beers".
The Bartender seems bewildered but goes gets two beers.
When the Bartender returns with the two beers, the Bartender asks: "Where did you get that?"
The Frog replies: Brooklyn, they're all over the place".
 
One for intellectuals. Descartes walks into a bar.

"The usual, Renee?" says the barman.

"I think not," says Descartes, and vanishes.
 
Havana Moon said:
I didn't understand it.
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:palm: It's a Robin Williams joke that he used in Manhattan (New York City) Comedy Routine. There's a lot of Jews in and around New York City (Brooklyn is one of the 5 Boroughs).
(thinking about it, that joke might not work in England) :(
 
Jack said:
It's called 'democracy' Havana.
Why should we just have white 'racists', when we can have hebrew and black 'racists' too?
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Only the other day he was orgasming over the possibility of a bloodbath in South Africa, truly nasty excuse for a human being.
 
Havana Moon said:
Only the other day he was orgasming over the possibility of a bloodbath in South Africa, truly nasty excuse for a human being.
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I missed that, so can't comment.
I don't know whether he hates white people more than Christians, or Christians more than white people? Might be a toss up?
Would guno be considered a 'cunt' from your perspective?
 
Jack said:
I missed that, so can't comment.
I don't know whether he hates white people more than Christians, or Christians more than white people? Might be a toss up?
Would guno be considered a 'cunt' from your perspective?
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Didn't want to offend your delicate sensibilities by indulging in some Anglo-Saxon.
 
Jack said:
:palm: It's a Robin Williams joke that he used in Manhattan (New York City) Comedy Routine. There's a lot of Jews in and around New York City (Brooklyn is one of the 5 Boroughs).
(thinking about it, that joke might not work in England) :(
Click to expand...

Talk about Thatcherite rabbis hanging out at the BBC, waiting to be paid for denouncing Mr Corbyn for daring to be anti-Zionist. The problem would be telling frog and rabbi apart, I suppose.
 
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