Wallmart People

Mott the Hoople

Mott the Hoople

Sweet Jane
I was at Wal-Mart buying a 40lb bag of Purina dog chow for my dog, while in the check-out line a busy body behind me asked "So do you have a dog?".

WTF, Why the hell else would I be buying dog chow, RIGHT ???

So on impulse I told her that no, I didn't have a dog, I was starting the Purina Diet again, and that I probably shouldn't because I ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in intensive care with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms. I told her that it was essentially a Perfect Diet and all you do is load your pockets with Purina Nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally complete so it works well and I was going to try it again. (I have to mention here that practically everyone in line was now enthralled with my story.).

Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care because the dog food poisoned me? I told her no, I stepped off a curb to sniff a poodle's ass and a car hit me.

I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so hard.
 
Mott the Hoople said:
I was at Wal-Mart buying a 40lb bag of Purina dog chow for my dog, while in the check-out line a busy body behind me asked "So do you have a dog?".

WTF, Why the hell else would I be buying dog chow, RIGHT ???

So on impulse I told her that no, I didn't have a dog, I was starting the Purina Diet again, and that I probably shouldn't because I ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in intensive care with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms. I told her that it was essentially a Perfect Diet and all you do is load your pockets with Purina Nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally complete so it works well and I was going to try it again. (I have to mention here that practically everyone in line was now enthralled with my story.).

Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care because the dog food poisoned me? I told her no, I stepped off a curb to sniff a poodle's ass and a car hit me.

I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so hard.
Click to expand...

Let's for the sake of argument say that your little story isn't a complete fabrication. Someone's being polite and making conversation and you decide to be a complete ass and then come to a message board to brag about it? Yep, you are a libtard.
 
FactsRStubborn said:
Let's for the sake of argument say that your little story isn't a complete fabrication. Someone's being polite and making conversation and you decide to be a complete ass and then come to a message board to brag about it? Yep, you are a libtard.
Click to expand...

Let's pretend, for the sake of argument, that you have a sense of humor. Then let's pretend, for the sake of argument, that you have friends, one of whom might have told you this joke or sent it to you in an email (it has been around for a while).

Nah, nevermind. I'm a pretty imaginative person but even I have my limits.
 
WinterBorn said:
Let's pretend, for the sake of argument, that you have a sense of humor. Then let's pretend, for the sake of argument, that you have friends, one of whom might have told you this joke or sent it to you in an email (it has been around for a while).

Nah, nevermind. I'm a pretty imaginative person but even I have my limits.
Click to expand...

Oh is that what it was supposed to be? Maybe the Hopper should have pointed that out or am I now supposed to try to guess what you lib think? You should have a pussy
 
FactsRStubborn said:
Because you act like a woman with all your whining and bitching
Click to expand...

Oh, so making fun of the fact you didn't recognize the joke as a joke is whining and bitching? lol

By that measure, your post of "Maybe the Hopper should have pointed that out or am I now supposed to try to guess what you lib think?" means you will be signing up for the surgery to change genders?
 
Mott the Hoople said:
I was at Wal-Mart buying a 40lb bag of Purina dog chow for my dog, while in the check-out line a busy body behind me asked "So do you have a dog?".

WTF, Why the hell else would I be buying dog chow, RIGHT ???`
Click to expand...

Mott, it's called a conversation starter. When people say "Could you get me X?" to a server, they're not actually expecting that the server will say "No!", they're just being nice about it. You are a social retard and can't understand these cues, and confuse your asshole behavior with cleverness.
 
WinterBorn said:
Oh, so making fun of the fact you didn't recognize the joke as a joke is whining and bitching? lol

By that measure, your post of "Maybe the Hopper should have pointed that out or am I now supposed to try to guess what you lib think?" means you will be signing up for the surgery to change genders?
Click to expand...

You are still whining about it?

:rofl2:
 
This reminds me of this song:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tJRzBpFjJS8&t=1m10s

"So, is it a boy or a girl?"
"Oh we know, but we're not telling!"
....
"BITCH, I don't really care! I was being polite now..."

God I hate pregnant women, and children. Two things that will be banned when I'm emperor. I mainly hate people who get smug and give smartass answers when they're asked question from others who are just being polite.
 
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Mott the Hoople said:
I was at Wal-Mart buying a 40lb bag of Purina dog chow for my dog, while in the check-out line a busy body behind me asked "So do you have a dog?".

WTF, Why the hell else would I be buying dog chow, RIGHT ???

So on impulse I told her that no, I didn't have a dog, I was starting the Purina Diet again, and that I probably shouldn't because I ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in intensive care with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms. I told her that it was essentially a Perfect Diet and all you do is load your pockets with Purina Nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally complete so it works well and I was going to try it again. (I have to mention here that practically everyone in line was now enthralled with my story.).

Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care because the dog food poisoned me? I told her no, I stepped off a curb to sniff a poodle's ass and a car hit me.

I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so hard.
Click to expand...

Is that true?

She was either lonely or hitting on you. BTW, I am lonely. :)
 
FactsRStubborn said:
Let's for the sake of argument say that your little story isn't a complete fabrication. Someone's being polite and making conversation and you decide to be a complete ass and then come to a message board to brag about it? Yep, you are a libtard.
Click to expand...

This from the guy that WHINES about breast cancer awareness month and being asked to reuse towels?

You must be trolling.
 
Piero said:
This from the guy that WHINES about breast cancer awareness month and being asked to reuse towels?

You must be trolling.
Click to expand...

My point still stands. Is there anyone not aware of breast cancer?

As for the towels, I was merely asking a question. You can feel free to reuse yours. I use every one :)
 
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