What are some funny misconceptions you had as a kid?

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BRUTALITOPS

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When I was about 6, I thought no one actually died, but instead when they were older they were taken to a cemetery, wrapped in chains, put in a glass box and buried alive with cement poured over them. I believe this was due to the fact that I saw a magician doing an escape attempt and I grossly misinterpreted the circumstances.


I imagined everyone underground in their glass coffins, looking to the right, or left, and giving their fellow buried friend a sad nod, acknowledging the world was done with them.



This was compounded by the fact that my great aunt died and I overhead someone say that she "finally gave up" or "she finally let go", further leading me to the conclusion that death was a choice, and that she was hauled to the cemetery where everyone was waiting to put her in the ground, and then she just finally said ok.


I was petrified that someone was going to take me to the cemetery and coerce me into being buried alive.
 
I always thought that I cold make the sun follow me around, as when you look at it and walk it appears to move with you. I also thought that our car was gigantic and took up both lanes because it looked that way when I was riding in the car.
 
I went to one of those huge mega-churches when I was a child, well I was forced to pretty much grow up in one of them.

When I was very young they used to sing a song called "Hosanna" the lyrics were stupid and went like this:

Ho-Ho-Ho-Ho-sa-ha-na!
Ha-Ha-Ha-le-lu-u-ya...
He-He-He-he-say-ayved me!
I've got the joy of the Lord!

I believed the lyrics were a bit different and wondered what the hell Santa had to do with being saved or the Joy of the lord....

Another one that was pretty much just like that was called "I'm Going Up In the Rapture"....

one of the lines was "My feet will leave the ground!"

I always thought that it was "won't leave the ground!" and always pictured all of these people around me with really, really, really long legs...
 
Exoendo said:
When I was about 6, I thought no one actually died, but instead when they were older they were taken to a cemetery, wrapped in chains, put in a glass box and buried alive with cement poured over them. I believe this was due to the fact that I saw a magician doing an escape attempt and I grossly misinterpreted the circumstances.


I imagined everyone underground in their glass coffins, looking to the right, or left, and giving their fellow buried friend a sad nod, acknowledging the world was done with them.



This was compounded by the fact that my great aunt died and I overhead someone say that she "finally gave up" or "she finally let go", further leading me to the conclusion that death was a choice, and that she was hauled to the cemetery where everyone was waiting to put her in the ground, and then she just finally said ok.


I was petrified that someone was going to take me to the cemetery and coerce me into being buried alive.
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Being buried alive is one of my worst nightmares. Thanks for making me think about it.

My biggest misconception as a kid was thinking that Democrats were OK.
 
Damocles said:
I went to one of those huge mega-churches when I was a child, well I was forced to pretty much grow up in one of them.

When I was very young they used to sing a song called "Hosanna" the lyrics were stupid and went like this:

Ho-Ho-Ho-Ho-sa-ha-na!
Ha-Ha-Ha-le-lu-u-ya...
He-He-He-he-say-ayved me!
I've got the joy of the Lord!

I believed the lyrics were a bit different and wondered what the hell Santa had to do with being saved or the Joy of the lord....

Another one that was pretty much just like that was called "I'm Going Up In the Rapture"....

one of the lines was "My feet will leave the ground!"

I always thought that it was "won't leave the ground!" and always pictured all of these people around me with really, really, really long legs...
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Forced religion has a lot to answer for. At the age of about 5 or 6 I had to attend a sunday school where we were taught to sing something I thought was 'Jesus! Bits of shine!' it was 'Jesus Bids us Shine.' later I wondered for a long time about the relevance of singing about a 'Green hill far away without a city wall.' At the time we lived on the slopes of the downs and I just could not see why anyone would want to build a wall round a hill.
 
Because most of the adults around me as a kid were physically banged up and out of shape, I thought that all adults were physically spent (slow, possibly needing canes, back issues, the occasional hernia, etc.) for a long time. This was despite being taken to Mariners games where I could clearly see adults in fine physical shape playing a sport almost every day, several months out of the year.

And yes, I'm well-aware I just set myself up for a Mariners/Seattle sports teams joke.
 
Threedee said:
Because most of the adults around me as a kid were physically banged up and out of shape, I thought that all adults were physically spent (slow, possibly needing canes, back issues, the occasional hernia, etc.) for a long time. This was despite being taken to Mariners games where I could clearly see adults in fine physical shape playing a sport almost every day, several months out of the year.

And yes, I'm well-aware I just set myself up for a Mariners/Seattle sports teams joke.
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dude you know what the weirdest thing is? It's very possible you and me were in the same location at sometimes.

Hell we might have even sat next to each other and not known it. That's weird.

Chapdog was at fenway once probably not too far away but I didn't seek him out cause that would be very odd.
 
My Uncle convinced me that a petrified horse apple was a fossilized dinosaur egg and that he had dinosaurs roaming in his woods. Told me he'd show them to me if I gave him $20 and of course I didn't have $20. I was devastated.
 
More recently I thought that in a certain song by Faith Hill she was singing "Biscuit, Biscuit" which confused the hell out of me till someone told me she was actually singing "This Kiss, This Kiss".
 
Mott the Hoople said:
More recently I thought that in a certain song by Faith Hill she was singing "Biscuit, Biscuit" which confused the hell out of me till someone told me she was actually singing "This Kiss, This Kiss".
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shucks, the music my kids listen to, I think ALL of them are singing "Biscuit, Biscuit".......and if they were, it would make more sense than what they ARE trying to sing.....
 
michael jackson....a black straight guy

whenever i walked into a room, everyone couldn't take their eyes off me and was thinking about me...i could never figure out how they did it so "discretely"

hotel rooms, especially the beds, are super clean and all the blankets, rugs, walls, counter tops, phones, remotes were always thoroughly washed after every stay....
 
Exoendo said:
dude you know what the weirdest thing is? It's very possible you and me were in the same location at sometimes.

Hell we might have even sat next to each other and not known it. That's weird.

Chapdog was at fenway once probably not too far away but I didn't seek him out cause that would be very odd.
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I went to some 33 or so games at the Kingdome (LOVED that stadium so much!!! It was technically crappy, but the atmosphere was perfect, baseball was fun, and even the rampards were a treat), and here are some of the games I attended:

The 1997 game against the Twins, where Edgar Martinez hit the longest homerun to that date in the Mariner's crushing defeat of 10-1.

The 1999 game against the A's, where McGuire topped the homerun with one that is still legendary in a Mariners victory of 5-3.

Also, a game in 1993 against the Indians, where Jay Buhner hit a bottom 9th homerun to win the game 7-6.

Since the construction of Safeco Field, I have been to two games of note:

The very last season game of the 2001 season where the Rangers beat the Mariners and stopped them from getting win 117. I purposely attended the game hoping that my ticket would become a collector's item. My parents did attend the 1983 game where Galord Perry got his 200th career win, so that's something...

Also, a game against the Yankees where several fights broke out, a number of players were ejected. And in which Joe Torre was last seen walking slowly out the center field gate with the song "Happy Trails to You" playing to everyone's delight.
 
when I was little my sister went to see the King Kong movie.....she told me all about it in vivid detail....for a couple of years I wouldn't go outside alone at night because I knew a gorilla was going to get me......carry me up on top of the barn or something.......
 
PostmodernProphet said:
when I was little my sister went to see the King Kong movie.....she told me all about it in vivid detail....for a couple of years I wouldn't go outside alone at night because I knew a gorilla was going to get me......carry me up on top of the barn or something.......
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I was home alone one afternoon when I was maybe 5 (mom was at the neighbors my sisters at a friend's house), turned on the boob tube and watched Alfred Hitchcock's "The Birds"...

For years I would look suspiciously at birds gathered together on wires...
 
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