What are some funny misconceptions you had as a kid?

Damocles said:
I was home alone one afternoon when I was maybe 5 (mom was at the neighbors my sisters at a friend's house), turned on the boob tube and watched Alfred Hitchcock's "The Birds"...

For years I would look suspiciously at birds gathered together on wires...
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When the starlings are migrating through here the sky gets nearly black sometimes.
 
I came accross a rather crafty crow one afternoon at my parent's house a couple of years ago. I was out throwing peanuts over the fence to our pygmy goats (yes, they love 'em like candies!!), and the crows will often circle over head hoping to swoop down upon unthreatened peanuts and make off with them.

One of them instead perched himself upon a wooden post so it could see the line of my throwing arm. Then he started timing my throws, and suddenly as my arm was in motion, he took off and snatched it out of the air as it was about to come down on one of the goats' foreheads. The goat just looked up at him in frustration as if to say "fucking asshole, that was MINE!!"
 
I have a red necked woodpecker who started attacking the cedar siding on my back bay window. At first I didn't think it was much of a problem since he'd figure out that there were no bugs in the wood and he's stop, but the problem got worse after a few months. So one morning I heard him pecking on it so I snuck outside to the backyard and shot at him while he was escaping into the woods. I've shot at him twice more the same way and its discouraged him somewhat, but lately he's been back and very sneaky.
 
Southern Man said:
I have a red necked woodpecker who started attacking the cedar siding on my back bay window. At first I didn't think it was much of a problem since he'd figure out that there were no bugs in the wood and he's stop, but the problem got worse after a few months. So one morning I heard him pecking on it so I snuck outside to the backyard and shot at him while he was escaping into the woods. I've shot at him twice more the same way and its discouraged him somewhat, but lately he's been back and very sneaky.
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I would try to not miss the pecker.
 
My mom used my slingshot a number of years ago to fire chopped carrot projectiles at a woodpecker that was gnawing on the side of our house. Liberal sister voiced her outrage, but its better than having a hole in the house (plus, the racket is damned irritating to have to listen to), and my mom was also not aiming to hit it.

Who'd have thought that she would find a use for my toys? Bought it at a fair one time, and thought it would be fun to have around the house...
 
There used to be a field behind a house I lived in once that went out quite a ways and I remember thinking it went forever and I would be lost forever if I went too far. I looked at a map decades later and it wasn't really that far, just one of those suburban greenspace areas that exist.

I remember thinking that you never mess with a Chinese kid because they all know Karate just by virtue of being Chinese.

Ok here is a rude one I remember, I had older stepbrothers and the oldest was with different girls all the time and used to come home and talk graphically about what he did (when parents weren't around) and I don't think I knew too much about sex at this point somewhat (8 years old or so), anyway he went on with his weekend adventure about a girl sitting on his face and how this was amazing and he seemed so genuine, I remember thinking that for some reason this was something I had to do because something great would happen.

I remember being told that lightning will always strike the highest point, so when I was with a friend in a thunderstorm I would duck down lower than him while walking so I wouldn't be the one to get hit if it happened.
 
Threedee said:
My mom used my slingshot a number of years ago to fire chopped carrot projectiles at a woodpecker that was gnawing on the side of our house. Liberal sister voiced her outrage, but its better than having a hole in the house (plus, the racket is damned irritating to have to listen to), and my mom was also not aiming to hit it.

Who'd have thought that she would find a use for my toys? Bought it at a fair one time, and thought it would be fun to have around the house...
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Did it work?
 
Threedee said:
Uh, will it fire if you do that? Just remember not to chuck a live grenade into a sack of rice...
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You can put anything into a shotgun shell. In the old days they used to use rock salt to put the fear of God into would-be robbers. Use a reduced powder load, and hit 'em in the ass as they're running away.
 
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