What does Brent Need?

Basically, I am going to tell Brent that I'm going to meet him, but secretely send him to a hotel full of pot, beer, lsd, and male + female hookers (so he can finally choose).

Everyone submit to the Brent Hooker fund immediately.
 
I'm going to level with you guys.

When it gets right down to it, I really need pussy.

That said, when the opportunity comes I ALWAYS chicken out. I become overwhelmed with guilt, to the extent that if I were to actually do it, I'd probably feel like hanging myself.

Allow me to illustrate my point:

A few weeks ago, this little hottie named Kristin sent several nude pictures of herself to my phone. I'd only met her once before but evidently that was enough for her; she suggested that I come visit her (she lives in Kent, which is about 30 miles from my town) so that I could promptly fuck her. We agreed that we'd get together on a Saturday.

But when the weekend arrived, I started to panic, ignored her texts, and actually changed my phone number. Yes, I called ATT and told them that I'm being harassed, and they changed my number at no charge. (I had my old number for over two years).

Our only other connection was a mutual friend who, ironically, I also chickened out of fucking. Thankfully, I haven't seen her for months.

I am 100% serious and I don't give a fuck if you don't believe me. The only reason I'm telling you this is because I recognize that I have a problem, and that I need serious help.

OK?
 
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Every bloke needs pussy. And not getting it is a major issue. Stop sniggering those of you who have pussy on tap. Smug bastards.
 
Getting laid will do a lot for relaxing you. But its more habit-forming than drugs.

Yeah, go get some and ignore the guilt. Trust me, the world will not end if you get laid. Just remember wrap that rascal. And not with the old one that has been forming a ring on your wallet. Spring for a new one (or several?)

Now, as for the fear you have, there is no help for that except to force your way thru it and do the deed.

Maybe its all the anticipation and time to think about all the ways it can go wrong? Then go to a pub and find ANY woman willing to spare 10 minutes so that you can get what you need. Don't be choosy, think of it as therapy.
 
2) God to come down and finally just tell everybody, "Yes, I exist and Brent was right, the LDS Church is the only way to go!"
 
Thornicus said:
I'm going to level with you guys.

When it gets right down to it, I really need pussy.

That said, when the opportunity comes I ALWAYS chicken out. I become overwhelmed with guilt, to the extent that if I were to actually do it, I'd probably feel like hanging myself.

Allow me to illustrate my point:

A few weeks ago, this little hottie named Kristin sent several nude pictures of herself to my phone. I'd only met her once before but evidently that was enough for her; she suggested that I come visit her (she lives in Kent, which is about 30 miles from my town) so that I could promptly fuck her. We agreed that we'd get together on a Saturday.

But when the weekend arrived, I started to panic, ignored her texts, and actually changed my phone number. Yes, I called ATT and told them that I'm being harassed, and they changed my number at no charge. (I had my old number for over two years).

Our only other connection was a mutual friend who, ironically, I also chickened out of fucking. Thankfully, I haven't seen her for months.

I am 100% serious and I don't give a fuck if you don't believe me. The only reason I'm telling you this is because I recognize that I have a problem, and that I need serious help.

OK?
Click to expand...

Dude are you a virgin??
 
Brent, you may want to work out the kinks by practising on one of those plastic sex dolls.

I have Paris Hilton's number if you're interested.
 
Masturbate, you can fix that issue by picturing your way through it. The more you imagine yourself doing the deed, the more your mind will be capable of getting you past the faux guilt built into you by the religious machine.
 
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