Why do humans live so long?

cancel2 2022

Canceled
On the first day, God created the dog and said:
‘Sit all day by the door of your house and bark at anyone who comes in or walks past. For this, I will give you a life span of twenty years.’
The dog said: ‘That’s a long time to be barking. How about only ten years and I’ll give you back the other ten?’
So God agreed.
On the second day, God created the monkey and said:
‘Entertain people, do tricks, and make them laugh. For this, I’ll give you a twenty-year life span.’
The monkey said: ‘Monkey tricks for twenty years?
That’s a pretty long time to perform. How about I give you back ten like the Dog did?’

And God agreed.
On the third day, God created the cow and said:
‘You must go into the field with the farmer all day long and suffer under the sun, have calves and give milk to support the farmer’s family. For this, I will give you a life span of sixty years.’
The cow said: ‘That’s kind of a tough life you want me to live for sixty years. How about twenty and I’ll give back the other forty?’
And God agreed again.
On the fourth day, God created man and said:
‘Eat, sleep, play, marry and enjoy your life. For this, I’ll give you twenty years.’
But man said: ‘Only twenty years? Could you possibly give me my twenty,the forty the cow gave back, the ten the monkey gave back, and the ten the dog gave back; that makes eighty, okay?’
‘Okay,’ said God, ‘You asked for it.’
So that is why for our first twenty years we eat, sleep, play and enjoy ourselves. For the next forty years we slave in the sun to support our family. For the next ten years we do monkey tricks to entertain the grandchildren. And for the last ten years we sit on the front porch and bark at everyone.
Life has now been explained to you.

 
But for the first five of those I shat myself. And I've spent all the rest studying more than 40 hours a week for school anyway.

Life sucks.
 
But for the first five of those I shat myself. And I've spent all the rest studying more than 40 hours a week for school anyway.

Life sucks.
And to think, in about 10 years you will look back on this time as some of the least stressful ever and you will wish you could return to it, if only for a little while.
 
But for the first five of those I shat myself. And I've spent all the rest studying more than 40 hours a week for school anyway.

Life sucks.

dude...cherish your time in school...it doesn't matter if you make a billion dollars later....it is a time....don't hate it, embrace it. then when you're done, get a higher degree or go to work or invent microsoft......
 
Life is about the journey, not the destination.

It sounds trite and cliche, but it is absolutely true. Cherish every day.
 
And to think, in about 10 years you will look back on this time as some of the least stressful ever and you will wish you could return to it, if only for a little while.
It may not have been stressfull but, like Watermark, I wasn't getting any pussy either. I wouldn't go back for nothing. LOL
 
It may not have been stressfull but, like Watermark, I wasn't getting any pussy either. I wouldn't go back for nothing. LOL

So many spend their time looking back or looking ahead. They are wasting what they actually have. If you are not happy where you are, I doubt you will be happy dreaming about yesterday or working to get to some vague point in the future.

Happiness is a decision, not a time.
 
So many spend their time looking back or looking ahead. They are wasting what they actually have. If you are not happy where you are, I doubt you will be happy dreaming about yesterday or working to get to some vague point in the future.

Happiness is a decision, not a time.

I don't spend much time dreaming.
 
No; you just engaged in sex, which some religiions frown upon; because sex is considered to be reserved for the married couple and then only to procreate.
That is true, as my religion (Catholicism) requires just that. I am a sinner for making the decision to have sex, but I limited my sins to having relations only with women that I would consider marrying. Still, this left me with plenty of high quality pussy. :)
 
That is true, as my religion (Catholicism) requires just that. I am a sinner for making the decision to have sex, but I limited my sins to having relations only with women that I would consider marrying. Still, this left me with plenty of high quality pussy. :)

So you can justify the sins that the Church says you commit and you're OK with that; but you're going to be the champion of the sins you don't agree with.

I never realized that you belong to the Holy Order of Bullshit Hypocrisy.
 
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