As usual, you are dead wrong. Civilized ppl use the terms for others that those others prefer. "Gay" was tje term that the LGBTQ communi8ty chose for themselves. I bet you insist on using the term "nigger" when referring to Black people, don't you? Better quality people used to refer to African-Americans (which they seldom call themselves, btw) as "colored people." They prefer the term "Black," so once again, that's the term that quality folks use as well.
Someone as triggered as you are by non-binary citizens might do well to seek counseling. The closet can be a dark and lonely place.