We lost that election because the GOP had nothing other than anti-gay referendums to hope to get people out to vote. They were no longer trusted because they outspent even the drunkest democrat and did not act conservatively fiscally, or when speaking of personal responsibility. We lost because the party followed people like Ted Haggard into obscurity and hypocrisy and lost site of the best tenets of the party which are: Individual freedom, constitutionally bound government, fiscal conservatism, a hope for a smaller government... These are the things that get us elected, not Gay crap. We lost because we didn't force our elected leaders to act like republicans.
People are, wisely, rejecting people that act like people expect Democrats to act, except they pray more.
People question "conservatism" because we let people who think Steve and Adam's marriage is the most important issue get into power in the party and lead us away from the fundamental principals of the party.
We stopped acting like conservatives for so long, many conservatives began to think that the only thing that makes a "conservatism" is exactly how often they sit in the pew. We cannot let those people into the top echelon of the party again, we'll be doomed. We must center the party on very real conservative core values of fiscal responsibility, personal responsibility, individual freedom, constitutionally bound government.
That the smaller the government and the more local the more efficient it is...