Can some squeaky republican please write out the protocol for these occasions? Because with the average age of republicans, and republican voters, being so old, they are dying off left and right, and I never know what the fuck the ones left behind are expecting of me?
I remember when Reagan finally kicked the bucket, and by the time he did, his brain scan looked like a cauliflower after you boil it. And people were just so upset. “Did you even know he was still alive” I finally asked one of them. “Nooo,” they wailed, “but now that he’s dead I just feel as if I have lost a family member, I don’t know what it is, but I was much happier when I didn’t know he was still alive, than I am now that I know he has died, died, this very week!”
And Ford kicked off, and everyone said he seemed like a decent enough fella, and didn’t we all feel bad? But I had forgotten, not only that he was alive, but that he had ever lived, until he reminded me by dying, and the news didn’t slow me down any.
Now Heston. What do all of these cranky looking old men have in common? Um, they’re old? Most won’t live to be in their 80's or 90's. Of the people reading this, many of you are going to die long before you hit 90, you can bet on it. That’s what life has in store for you, death ok?
So I am wondering what the fuck are we supposed to be rooting for with these elderly republicans? Immortality? And if I think someone is a prick when they are alive, do they somehow get unpricked by doing that most ordinary of all things - dropping dead?
Must I wail about and sob, and wonder how I will get through the week now that some old fuck who I forgot was alive has died?
Please tell me because another one of them are bound to kick-off any day now, and I seem to upset the apple cart every single time by not saying the proper thing. I will check back in the morning to see how many of you squeakers have anted up. Thanks.
I remember when Reagan finally kicked the bucket, and by the time he did, his brain scan looked like a cauliflower after you boil it. And people were just so upset. “Did you even know he was still alive” I finally asked one of them. “Nooo,” they wailed, “but now that he’s dead I just feel as if I have lost a family member, I don’t know what it is, but I was much happier when I didn’t know he was still alive, than I am now that I know he has died, died, this very week!”
And Ford kicked off, and everyone said he seemed like a decent enough fella, and didn’t we all feel bad? But I had forgotten, not only that he was alive, but that he had ever lived, until he reminded me by dying, and the news didn’t slow me down any.
Now Heston. What do all of these cranky looking old men have in common? Um, they’re old? Most won’t live to be in their 80's or 90's. Of the people reading this, many of you are going to die long before you hit 90, you can bet on it. That’s what life has in store for you, death ok?
So I am wondering what the fuck are we supposed to be rooting for with these elderly republicans? Immortality? And if I think someone is a prick when they are alive, do they somehow get unpricked by doing that most ordinary of all things - dropping dead?
Must I wail about and sob, and wonder how I will get through the week now that some old fuck who I forgot was alive has died?
Please tell me because another one of them are bound to kick-off any day now, and I seem to upset the apple cart every single time by not saying the proper thing. I will check back in the morning to see how many of you squeakers have anted up. Thanks.
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