ATTN: NEOCONS... I have a plan....

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Dixie - In Memoriam

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You know how difficult it has been to combat the radical Islamic fundamentalists. Everything we have tried has been met with Liberal resistance, from domestic wiretaps, interrogation techniques, detention of enemy combatants, and even the two wars where we liberated the people and offered hope for a life without radical Islamic terror. In spite of our efforts to defeat this enemy, the Left stands firmly entrenched and ready to fight us to keep us from defeating them. They will even go as far as to claim we deserved what we got on 9/11, and suggest we negotiate with the terrorists.

Okay, here's my plan, but I warn you, it's a bit extreme. All of us NEOCONS should convert to Islam as soon as possible! That's right, Sharia Law for everyone, baby! Let's get a candidate who fully supports it and will go ahead and get it implemented as soon as he takes office! Think about it now, cons... no more debates over abortion and gay rights, Sharia is pretty clear on that. We won't be antagonized by the anti-religious anymore, they will all be executed under Sharia Law, and we can get rid of that bug-eyed Nancy Pelosi, because she is female and they are not allowed to hold positions of power under Sharia Law.

We do have to sacrifice the Jews, but most of them have already been taken care of by others over the years, it's not like trying to kill off all the Muslims. After we have helped alQaeda eliminate the Jews, there can be meaningful peace in the Middle East, finally! Imagine, a world where we all just get along and live happily under Sharia Law? Us religious wacko types would have no trouble adopting the strict codes of Sharia in our daily lives, we get to pray every day, whether in a public building or not, it's the law! No more immoral decadence to have shoved in our face daily, as people like Howard Stern and Madonna would be immediately put to death under Sharia. It should still make the pinheads happy, they love the terrorists anyway, and we could bring all our troops home, since there would be no more need to defeat terrorist enemies.

I think it's a great plan, myself. :cof1:
 
Nah, I think I'll stick with the US Constitution.

Its worked well so far. Besides, the idea of living where women are covered completely doesn't sound appealing.
 
Solitary said:
Nah, I think I'll stick with the US Constitution.

Its worked well so far. Besides, the idea of living where women are covered completely doesn't sound appealing.
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I don't know, have you ever been to that beach north of Clearwater where all the old Greeks retire? Pretty compelling argument for covering women there! Come to think of it, ever been to New Jersey?

Okay, I admit it's a little convoluted, but don't let a little thing like the Constitution get in the way, after all, Liberals tell us it is a "living document" and we can essentially make it say whatever we want depending on the times, so this should be easy to do, given that flexibility.

Worst case scenario... Since the NEOCONS support it, the Libs would have to be opposed to it, which means we would actually get them on board to combat the radical Islamics, instead of defending them! Waterboarding? SURE, if Republicans are involved, they'd be all for it! Oh, they would bust a gut to eliminate and defeat alQaeda if they thought Republicans were in favor of them, so I think it's a brilliant strategy either way. We either end up with Sharia Law, allowing us religious nuts to pretty much do as we damn well please and have everything we ever dreamed of, or we end up with Liberals on board in the War on Terror. It's a Win-Win! :)
 
Brilliant-just brilliant...lmao

Dixie said:
You know how difficult it has been to combat the radical Islamic fundamentalists. Everything we have tried has been met with Liberal resistance, from domestic wiretaps, interrogation techniques, detention of enemy combatants, and even the two wars where we liberated the people and offered hope for a life without radical Islamic terror. In spite of our efforts to defeat this enemy, the Left stands firmly entrenched and ready to fight us to keep us from defeating them. They will even go as far as to claim we deserved what we got on 9/11, and suggest we negotiate with the terrorists.

Okay, here's my plan, but I warn you, it's a bit extreme. All of us NEOCONS should convert to Islam as soon as possible! That's right, Sharia Law for everyone, baby! Let's get a candidate who fully supports it and will go ahead and get it implemented as soon as he takes office! Think about it now, cons... no more debates over abortion and gay rights, Sharia is pretty clear on that. We won't be antagonized by the anti-religious anymore, they will all be executed under Sharia Law, and we can get rid of that bug-eyed Nancy Pelosi, because she is female and they are not allowed to hold positions of power under Sharia Law.

We do have to sacrifice the Jews, but most of them have already been taken care of by others over the years, it's not like trying to kill off all the Muslims. After we have helped alQaeda eliminate the Jews, there can be meaningful peace in the Middle East, finally! Imagine, a world where we all just get along and live happily under Sharia Law? Us religious wacko types would have no trouble adopting the strict codes of Sharia in our daily lives, we get to pray every day, whether in a public building or not, it's the law! No more immoral decadence to have shoved in our face daily, as people like Howard Stern and Madonna would be immediately put to death under Sharia. It should still make the pinheads happy, they love the terrorists anyway, and we could bring all our troops home, since there would be no more need to defeat terrorist enemies.

I think it's a great plan, myself. :cof1:
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Sorry up late tonight working on a Ex-Parte motion with the daughter and her attorney...finished up and cruised over to see what was happening on JPP...I don't care what anyone says about you Dixie...this was just Brilliant...kudos!
 
Although the thread is done in jest (I hope), it too closely resembles what has been happening more and more in recent years.

The destruction of the United States of America by the perpetual fighting and bickering between conservatives and liberals, or between republicans and democrats.

I see that squabbling as being as dangerous as any terrorist. Perhaps the body count is not as high, but what it has done to our nation is just as bad.
 
Battleborne said:
Sorry up late tonight working on a Ex-Parte motion with the daughter and her attorney...finished up and cruised over to see what was happening on JPP...I don't care what anyone says about you Dixie...this was just Brilliant...kudos!
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Thanks! I thought it was my best idea yet! :) It takes a little to get past the unfortunate fate of the Jew part, but think about it... we get abortion banned, solve the problem of unwed pregnant mothers completely, they just kill them over there, no trial or anything. We get an end to 'gay marriage' silliness, hell, we get rid of gays all together, again, they just kill them under Sharia. No more vulgar profanity being spewed on TV, in music and the Movies, no more pornography or sexually explicit materials, censored internet and prayer several times daily. Sound's like a Jerry Falwell dream come true to me! I really don't think we NEOCONs would have much of a problem adapting, If we can change the meaning of the word "Quran" to "Bible" the 'christian fundies' could easily be converted to follow Sharia. I mean, we are eventually going to have to any way, unless we want to all die of beheading. I say we just go ahead and accept that we are destined to lose and be proactive in accepting Sharia.

Of course, some of our Liberal friends may disagree when the reality sets in. But what can they say then? They had every chance to stand together with us as Americans and defeat radical Islamic terror, and they insisted on fighting those of us who wanted to defeat it. They have taken every position of support for the terrorists along the way, and attempted to obstruct our efforts to prevail ...what were they expecting? God would come save us from Sharia?

Yep.... I think we need to just start a movement for NEOCONS to convert to Sharia and let's get it done! The sooner we start getting used to the routine, the better off we will all be, don't you think?
 
I have a pretty warped sense of humor. I can find humor in some bizarre places.

But this thread is not as funny as it is scary. I see too many who would agree.
 
Solitary said:
I have a pretty warped sense of humor. I can find humor in some bizarre places.

But this thread is not as funny as it is scary. I see too many who would agree.
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Well I hope they do agree, we can start a grass roots movement right here at JPP! NEOCONS for Sharia! Our slogan... Let's Just Go For It! We can all change our names to begin with Al, and start practicing wiping our butts with our left hand, that is going to be my biggest problem. The daily prayer ritual prolly won't bother me too much, but some our Atheist members may struggle with this... we all have to convert eventually though, unless you come up with a way to live without your head.

What's the matter Solitary, you think I am joking? What do you expect will ultimately be the result of having to battle pinheads every step of the way, to get to battle terror? I mean, when we eventually have to give up and lose "Bush's War" and radical Islam sweeps through the Middle East and into Europe, we aren't going to have a lot of options. We may as well start studying Arabic and learning to read our "Qurans" and try our best to make the change as smooth as possible. Too bad for those of you who don't want to get on board with this, because Sharia isn't very kind to resistance.
 
Are The Noahide Laws close enough for you? They are from the tribalistic cults of the semitic people's as well.

Edomites and Noahides. good google.
 
uscitizen said:
I think this is Dixies best idea yet.

It really sucks, but still Dixie's best idea so far.
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It's funny, he's basically stubled upon the NWO plan for world domination, a new global theology based on unifying the abrahamic faiths under one power structure. A warrior with the discipline of a white man, the sword wielding righteousness of a muslim, and the calculation and guile of a jew. Transformers Go!
 
I kinda like the Noahide Laws. Having a bloke like Asshate whine about them every milisecond while he's on the board seems to have made them grown on me considerably...
 
Threedee said:
I kinda like the Noahide Laws. Having a bloke like Asshate whine about them every milisecond while he's on the board seems to have made them grown on me considerably...
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yes. Theocratic jew worshipping shitbags like you are into them.
 
Sometimes men stumble upon the truth, but most pick themselves up and hurry of as if nothing happened" ~ Winston Churchill ...
 
dispensationalism is the key christian teaching developed by scofield to give christians a theoretical framework to abandon the centrality of christ, and thus allow a union of christians and the other desert based insanities. All these people needed was some water for fucksake.
 
AssHatZombie said:
yes. Theocratic jew worshipping shitbags like you are into them.
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Yes, Threedee, you must realize, AHZ is a jew hating nazi who foolishly thinks his race is pure and it's his manifest destiny to erradicate all of us unpure. Although he probably has as much jew blood in him as we do, his idiotic mind has adopted this ignorant and hateful belief, it gives him some sense of pride, albeit false pride.

It prompts him to post his stupidity about "Noahides" which is essentially a reference to the Biblical days of Noah, where the seven noahide laws were adopted. Essentially, the seven laws are just good ethical common sense we should all follow as humans, regardless of our religious beliefs. AHZ doesn't like them because they don't call for the elimination of inferior races.

But it's all okay, under Sharia Law, he won't have to worry about Noahides or Jews, there is no tolerance for them under Sharia, of course, there is no tolerance for Nazi's either, so he may have some trouble there as well. But at least he won't have to worry about Christian values being shoved down his throat... of course, his throat will be spurting blood from the stump where his head used to be, but that's a problem we can deal with when the time comes I suppose.
 
AssHatZombie said:
yes. Theocratic jew worshipping shitbags like you are into them.
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That would be funny if Asshate turned out to be a Jewish troll, but he seems like a true believer rather than a hoax... Not much like believer! and beliver! who were avowed followers of Josef, but were quite obviously trolls...
 
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