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Um, that's completely different.
If a state legally defines marriage as between a man and a woman, it must, according to the equal protection clause in the 14th Amendment, extend that to ALL people, so long as they are of the opposite sex. In this you are correct. However, as marriage is legally defined as between a man and a woman in the state, they are NOT required to recognize homosexual relationships. The only case in which they'd be Constitutionally required to extend marriage to homosexual couples is if the state law were ambiguous, i.e. defines marriage as between two persons rather than one man and one woman.
You can't use the 14th Amendment to force gay marriage on the states. Leave it to state jurisdiction were it belongs, via the 10th Amendment.
so you then you would support upholding state X's definition of marriage:
marriage is legally defined as between a white man and a white woman; a black man and a black woman
thus, it applies "equally" to both white and blacks and men and women