Barney Fife

MAGA MAN

Let's go Brandon!
This was an epic day at the office, several years ago.

A client called me on a job that I designed for him, he was a subcontractor on a medical office building down east and they were having a problem with the building inspector refusing to pass the framing inspection. He described some of the issues that were pending and I immediately thought, damn, this is a Barney Fife situation.

For those not versed in the building industry, the framing inspection is typically the critical point in the job. The structure is up, roof is on and exterior walls in place. All the plumbing and electrical rough-in is completed. With regards to a “Barney Fife” situation, it involves a government employee tasked with inspecting the work who doesn’t really know what he’s doing and assumes more authority than he legally has.

After our phone conversation I took the State Code book off the shelf and within a minute or so found the section that I was looking for. Basically what it says is that if a licensed engineer hands the local building inspector a report stating that an element of the building was constructed properly, the inspector shall approve it. The old Southern Building Code made this explicit; the newer version based off the International Building Code has it “hidden” in the administrative section.

We arrived at the site and the first thing I noticed out of the ordinary was the building under construction at the next site over. It had obviously been abandoned, so I asked the General Contractor about it. “They had so many problems passing inspection that the contractor went belly-up.” The project foreman piped in, “he’s made a game out of this, told me straight up that he’s determined to ‘fail me’ on something.”

The architect arrived and we went through the list of issues as we walked through the building. One by one we decided on simple fixes to address each item. Then we came to the sticky wicket, a hanging cripple wall over the reception area designed to carry small signs, overhead task lighting, and had a series of gentle curves in both plan and profile. The architect had shown it on the plans as curved lines and since it is non-structural, a cryptic note on how to construct it: ‘24 ga metal stud assembly’. I looked over the assembled frame, noting two screws per connection, studs 24” on center. The foreman, without prodding from me, jumped up, hung from it and did a pull-up. “Looks okay to me” I laughed.

The five of us stood there and looked over our copies of the list again, confirming that we had addressed each item. I asked the architect, a petite woman in her 50’s, that since she was the designer of record, and that the building was ultimately her responsibility, would she feel comfortable running the meeting for us. I looked over at my client, 6’-2”, then the GC, at least 6’-5”, and the foreman, another 6’-2” guy, then at the 5’-2” architect, and they all nodded in agreement.

Then the five of us drove over to the County office building for our scheduled meeting. The architect found the inspectors office, and then we were directed down the hall to an empty meeting room. I took my seat at the far end of the table on one side with my client ahead of me and the GC next to him. Across from my client sat the foreman and the architect across from the GC, leaving the head of the table for the county Codes Enforcement Officer. A minute later he walks in and, just as I had predicted, was at best 5‘-5” tall, and the Barney Fife analogy was complete.

COE Barney went through the itemized list one by one, each time the architect summarizing, asking the appropriate person to provide more detail, then confirming the appropriateness of each with the CEO. When it came to the hanging cripple wall, she turned to me.

“What exactly are you looking for, sir?” I asked the CEO. “I need to see cross sections at each different section, load calculations, required type and number of fasteners. You ought to know this, being an engineer and all” he said with the hint of a smirk.

“Yeah, well, I decided that’s going to take too much of my time drafting all that up, and since time is money, would cost my client too much for what it’s worth. I saw this gentleman here do a pull-up on it earlier this morning. It’s obviously okay, so I’m just going to go ahead and approve it.”

“Wait just one minute- I’m the only one here that does any approving” he said with much indignation.

Actually, sir, according to the Administrative Code, section xyz, once I hand you a letter stating that the structure is okay as built, ‘the CEO shall approve it.’”

He launched out of his chair and practically climbed up on to of the table towards me and shouted “It doesn’t say shall!”

I looked over at the GC, elbows on the table, looking off in the distance, holding his chin. Everyone in the room, based on the reaction that they had just witnessed, knew that I was 100% correct. Calmly I corrected the CEO. “Actually, sir, it does. It’s right here in section…”

“Look here” interrupting me, suddenly assuming a more pleasant tone as he sat down. “We don’t have to turn this into a pissing match.” As his ass hit the seat he turned to the architect as she quietly said “maybe if I draw a generic cross section and sealed it, would that be sufficient?”

“Yeah, that would work for me.” And the meeting was over. As we filed out he shook everyone’s hand except mine. :D
 
You know, Dark 'what is a pre-cut stud' Soul. I'm having a Vision ... I see this video clip, I hear the name 'Barney Fife', and ... I hear your story about a decorative ceiling drop.
Are YOU the aforementioned 'Building Inspector'?



The rest of the project went off without a hitch.

:kipyes:
 
You knew who you are, where you are, and what time it was. You handled it like the boss you are. Somebody has to do it. If men will not exercise their authority over stupid, stupid, fail, chaos and eventually death ensues in this corrupted earth. You did your reasonable service, your job. I see it all the time. Stupid freezes up in the face of light adversity. This nation of men had better pin their balls back on and quit cowering to the powerless PC police.
 
You knew who you are, where you are, and what time it was. You handled it like the boss you are. Somebody has to do it. If men will not exercise their authority over stupid, stupid, fail, chaos and eventually death ensues in this corrupted earth.

Yeah. Dark Soul looked at the Building, ... realized he was way out of his league. Figured "Hey, I'll quiz these fuckers on this ceiling drop, THAT will impress them!"
 
Yeah. Dark Soul looked at the Building, ... realized he was way out of his league. Figured "Hey, I'll quiz these fuckers on this ceiling drop, THAT will impress them!"

County inspectors with ambition to end up on the state board will make trouble where they have no authority in order to magnify their value; like Barney. I must ignore you, jack. I think you are eat up with the root of bitterness.
 
This was the second time that I've used the "nuclear option" on retarded CEOs. The first was on my own house, where the inspector decided to play tricks. During the framing inspection he told me to remove a tall, four-ply LVL that I had designed to manage wind loads from the gable end with the two large windows above the garage. "Replace them with full length 2x6's." Since it is the great room the end wall is not supported by the second floor, except at a single point where the exposed 6x12 center beam rests on it.

I told him that "It was built according to the plans, and the plans are sealed by an engineer. Here they are, not four feet away on this set-up table...."

"I know the Code!" he shouted.

"That's great, sir, but that assembly is well outside of the span tables in the Residential Code. It was designed by an engineer, and you'll have to look at the plans and compare it to the actual assembly..."

He pretended to ignore me, apparently could not read plans, and scratched his chin as he sulked, looking at other framing details.

After another half-hour and he saw what he wanted my GC asked him if he was ready to approve the work. He stood there for a full minute as we all waited. "Insulate it" he said, in front of me, my son, the GC, my electrician, my finish contractor and his helper.

A month later when I called for final inspection the CEO said that there was no completed inspections on the job. At all. His guy had not filed a thing. "So you're going to have to remove drywall so we can inspect it. I'm not sure how we're going to do the footing inspection."

"That's not happening." I replied.

"Well, since you're an engineer, you can approve the work yourself. Just send me a letter." which I did and had it on his desk the next morning. He then called and said that I had violated the state statute that prevents inspectors from approving their own house, and he was going to reject the construction and then turn me into the licensing board. This was a Friday afternoon about 2 pm, and I told him that I'll need to hang up on him as I needed to contact my attorney before the weekend.

I then got the yellow pages out and called an attorney with an office closest to the courthouse. He told me to bring him copies of all the pertinent documents and a check for $500. I did that by 4 pm, had a five minute meeting with the guy and told him what my plan was.

The next day, Saturday, I looked up this supposed law and verified that it applied to the CEO and his staff, not me in any way whatsoever. I then worked the phone and called every member of the county board, the elected officials that oversaw all the departments except the Sheriff's, that I could find the phone number for. None of them answered but I left a detailed summary on each of their answering machines. I calmly explained who I was, the house address, what the issue was and the fact that I had five witnesses other than myself who are willing to confirm that the inspector did indeed approve the framing, and that all I wanted to do was to get my certificate of occupancy and start paying my property taxes.

On Monday morning 8:05 am my phone rang, it was the CEO. His attitude had completely changed to respectful: mister this and sir that. And could I please meet him at the house with my GC the next morning?

We did and the guy was too embarrassed and ashamed to look at me. He pretended that I wasn't there and would only talk to my GC. This guy is 7'-2" tall and I had him cowering like a mouse.

Last time I saw him I was shopping at Lowes and he was standing in an isle I was walking through. He knew immediately who I was although my spanking on him had been 12 years earlier. He started to say something and I just walked on by....
 
Your memory has failed you. Look up what I actually said and stop embarrassing yourself.

:evilnod:

You said something like "Hey, I'll quiz these fuckers on how much load can this drop down ceiling carry, that will stump them".

Do you have a brother-in-law in the Inspections Department and you got to play 'Queen for a Day'?
 
You said something like "Hey, I'll quiz these fuckers on how much load can this drop down ceiling carry, that will stump them".

Do you have a brother-in-law in the Inspections Department and you got to play 'Queen for a Day'?

:oprah:
 
This was the second time that I've used the "nuclear option" on retarded CEOs. The first was on my own house, where the inspector decided to play tricks. During the framing inspection he told me to remove a tall, four-ply LVL that I had designed to manage wind loads from the gable end with the two large windows above the garage. "Replace them with full length 2x6's." Since it is the great room the end wall is not supported by the second floor, except at a single point where the exposed 6x12 center beam rests on it.

I told him that "It was built according to the plans, and the plans are sealed by an engineer. Here they are, not four feet away on this set-up table...."

"I know the Code!" he shouted.

"That's great, sir, but that assembly is well outside of the span tables in the Residential Code. It was designed by an engineer, and you'll have to look at the plans and compare it to the actual assembly..."

He pretended to ignore me, apparently could not read plans, and scratched his chin as he sulked, looking at other framing details.

After another half-hour and he saw what he wanted my GC asked him if he was ready to approve the work. He stood there for a full minute as we all waited. "Insulate it" he said, in front of me, my son, the GC, my electrician, my finish contractor and his helper.

A month later when I called for final inspection the CEO said that there was no completed inspections on the job. At all. His guy had not filed a thing. "So you're going to have to remove drywall so we can inspect it. I'm not sure how we're going to do the footing inspection."

"That's not happening." I replied.

"Well, since you're an engineer, you can approve the work yourself. Just send me a letter." which I did and had it on his desk the next morning. He then called and said that I had violated the state statute that prevents inspectors from approving their own house, and he was going to reject the construction and then turn me into the licensing board. This was a Friday afternoon about 2 pm, and I told him that I'll need to hang up on him as I needed to contact my attorney before the weekend.

I then got the yellow pages out and called an attorney with an office closest to the courthouse. He told me to bring him copies of all the pertinent documents and a check for $500. I did that by 4 pm, had a five minute meeting with the guy and told him what my plan was.

The next day, Saturday, I looked up this supposed law and verified that it applied to the CEO and his staff, not me in any way whatsoever. I then worked the phone and called every member of the county board, the elected officials that oversaw all the departments except the Sheriff's, that I could find the phone number for. None of them answered but I left a detailed summary on each of their answering machines. I calmly explained who I was, the house address, what the issue was and the fact that I had five witnesses other than myself who are willing to confirm that the inspector did indeed approve the framing, and that all I wanted to do was to get my certificate of occupancy and start paying my property taxes.

On Monday morning 8:05 am my phone rang, it was the CEO. His attitude had completely changed to respectful: mister this and sir that. And could I please meet him at the house with my GC the next morning?

We did and the guy was too embarrassed and ashamed to look at me. He pretended that I wasn't there and would only talk to my GC. This guy is 7'-2" tall and I had him cowering like a mouse.

Last time I saw him I was shopping at Lowes and he was standing in an isle I was walking through. He knew immediately who I was although my spanking on him had been 12 years earlier. He started to say something and I just walked on by....

More than a decade ago, when I was mechanical contracting, I was doing several historical houses in Wesley heights right by Panthers stadium; there was a controversy among inspectors concerning the viability of nylon webbing for hanging flexible ducting. Some rejected the use and required all metal hangers. I knew nylon was the best thing sing sliced bread, so I arranged a demonstration for my inspector for a certain job and proved how the use of 7 _"7/16 T50 staples would hold under stress, only letting go just before the duct was damaged. Some installers were only using two or three staples or roof tacks, or sheet metal screws and that was too weak. Long story short: there has not been any question since then and staple number/fastener use is the key to viability. I was only looking out for me. Not an impressive story, just stirring old memories.
 
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More than a decade ago, when I was mechanical contracting, I was doing several historical houses in Wesley heights right by Panthers stadium; there was a controversy among inspectors concerning the viability of nylon webbing for hanging flexible ducting. Some rejected the use and required all metal hangers. I knew nylon was the best thing sing sliced bread, so I arranged a demonstration for my inspector for a certain job and proved how the use of 7 _"7/16 T50 staples would hold under stress, only letting go just before the duct was damaged. Some installers were only using two or three staples and that was too weak. Long story short: there has not been any question since then and staple number is the key to viability. I was only looking out for me.

Sounds like you educated a few people, iewitness. Nice presentation.
 
More than a decade ago, when I was mechanical contracting, I was doing several historical houses in Wesley heights right by Panthers stadium; there was a controversy among inspectors concerning the viability of nylon webbing for hanging flexible ducting. Some rejected the use and required all metal hangers. I knew nylon was the best thing sing sliced bread, so I arranged a demonstration for my inspector for a certain job and proved how the use of 7 _"7/16 T50 staples would hold under stress, only letting go just before the duct was damaged. Some installers were only using two or three staples or roof tacks, or sheet metal screws and that was too weak. Long story short: there has not been any question since then and staple number/fastener use is the key to viability. I was only looking out for me.

I would think common sense would have told them that thin sheet metal bands to support thin flexible ducts isn't a good idea.
 
I would think common sense would have told them that thin sheet metal bands to support thin flexible ducts isn't a good idea.

Flex duct came around in the late 70s and there was no standard, but "1 metal was the most widely used method until I recall webbing appearing in the late 90s. Webbing is "2 and "3 wide, it does not cut the jacket, it conforms to any shape and does not conduct, causing condensation. I wish I had webbing back in 1985- about 2000. It was all metal before then. Enough of my boring bs
 
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Flex duct came around in the late 70s and there was no standard, but "1 metal was the most widely used method until I recall webbing appearing in the late 90s. Webbing is "2 and "3 wide, it does not cut the jacket, it conforms to any shape and does not conduct, causing condensation. I wish I had webbing back in 1985- about 2000. It was all metal before then.

Inspectors and engineers are sometimes slow to adopt new technology. Since we don't buy the products we're typically not called by product sales, and sometimes we're the last to be educated. I learned that lesson long ago when most of us were unconvinced that OSB was equal to plywood, structurally. Then I got called to inspect a house where the builder had abandoned and the roof sheathing- OSB- had been left totally exposed for a full year. I walked all over that roof with a hammer trying to find soft spots and the damn thing was as sound as the the day it was installed.

Since then I do my own research on new products as soon as I find out about them, and have developed the reputation of the go-to guy for contractors when they start to use new tech and inspectors are giving them grief. I've done hundreds of Superior wall homes (crushed stone footings) and thousands of foundation repairs using proprietary systems. Its a very lucrative part of my consulting business.

Here in my home county most of the city-county staff that I used to bring donuts too when I started have long retired, so an entire generation of them have grown up seeing my sealed plans passing through their offices. They've even "stolen" some of my repair methods, adopting them as standards in their internal guidance manuals. When I meet one of these young "kids" its a little like being a rock star, albeit a local record label.
 
Inspectors and engineers are sometimes slow to adopt new technology. Since we don't buy the products we're typically not called by product sales, and sometimes we're the last to be educated. I learned that lesson long ago when most of us were unconvinced that OSB was equal to plywood, structurally. Then I got called to inspect a house where the builder had abandoned and the roof sheathing- OSB- had been left totally exposed for a full year. I walked all over that roof with a hammer trying to find soft spots and the damn thing was as sound as the the day it was installed.

Since then I do my own research on new products as soon as I find out about them, and have developed the reputation of the go-to guy for contractors when they start to use new tech and inspectors are giving them grief. I've done hundreds of Superior wall homes (crushed stone footings) and thousands of foundation repairs using proprietary systems. Its a very lucrative part of my consulting business.

Here in my home county most of the city-county staff that I used to bring donuts too when I started have long retired, so an entire generation of them have grown up seeing my sealed plans passing through their offices. They've even "stolen" some of my repair methods, adopting them as standards in their internal guidance manuals. When I meet one of these young "kids" its a little like being a rock star, albeit a local record label.

I lived in King, right at the foot of saura mtn. Back in 2001, while saving a derelict estate property. There are some truly humble and unmolested people up there in the tobacco fields. And everyone is cousins. Good times in Winston. I am now rogue.
 
"Then I got called to inspect a house where the builder had abandoned and the roof sheathing- OSB- had been left totally exposed for a full year. I walked all over that roof with a hammer trying to find soft spots and the damn thing was as sound as the the day it was installed."

:palm: (Does anybody have an extra set of Waders? ... shit is getting pretty deep now)
 
Real people do real work and produce real product for the betterment of mankind; all mankind, regardless of race.
 
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