You brag on a public forum that you can read a code?
I was as close as I could possibly be to be embarrassed for you on that bizarre little story.
What a fucking loser
Who's bragging?
Barney Fife
- Thread starter MAGA MAN
- Start date
Who's bragging?
Who's bragging?
lol
Keep embarrassing yourself, tardboy.
Hey, better yet, post some code and tell us about it! Start a new thread!
"Code Du Jour"
lol
Keep embarrassing yourself, tardboy.
Hey, better yet, post some code and tell us about it! Start a new thread!
"Code Du Jour"
Who's bragging?
Mott the Hoople
Sweet Jane
This was an epic day at the office, several years ago.
A client called me on a job that I designed for him, he was a subcontractor on a medical office building down east and they were having a problem with the building inspector refusing to pass the framing inspection. He described some of the issues that were pending and I immediately thought, damn, this is a Barney Fife situation.
For those not versed in the building industry, the framing inspection is typically the critical point in the job. The structure is up, roof is on and exterior walls in place. All the plumbing and electrical rough-in is completed. With regards to a “Barney Fife” situation, it involves a government employee tasked with inspecting the work who doesn’t really know what he’s doing and assumes more authority than he legally has.
After our phone conversation I took the State Code book off the shelf and within a minute or so found the section that I was looking for. Basically what it says is that if a licensed engineer hands the local building inspector a report stating that an element of the building was constructed properly, the inspector shall approve it. The old Southern Building Code made this explicit; the newer version based off the International Building Code has it “hidden” in the administrative section.
We arrived at the site and the first thing I noticed out of the ordinary was the building under construction at the next site over. It had obviously been abandoned, so I asked the General Contractor about it. “They had so many problems passing inspection that the contractor went belly-up.” The project foreman piped in, “he’s made a game out of this, told me straight up that he’s determined to ‘fail me’ on something.”
The architect arrived and we went through the list of issues as we walked through the building. One by one we decided on simple fixes to address each item. Then we came to the sticky wicket, a hanging cripple wall over the reception area designed to carry small signs, overhead task lighting, and had a series of gentle curves in both plan and profile. The architect had shown it on the plans as curved lines and since it is non-structural, a cryptic note on how to construct it: ‘24 ga metal stud assembly’. I looked over the assembled frame, noting two screws per connection, studs 24” on center. The foreman, without prodding from me, jumped up, hung from it and did a pull-up. “Looks okay to me” I laughed.
The five of us stood there and looked over our copies of the list again, confirming that we had addressed each item. I asked the architect, a petite woman in her 50’s, that since she was the designer of record, and that the building was ultimately her responsibility, would she feel comfortable running the meeting for us. I looked over at my client, 6’-2”, then the GC, at least 6’-5”, and the foreman, another 6’-2” guy, then at the 5’-2” architect, and they all nodded in agreement.
Then the five of us drove over to the County office building for our scheduled meeting. The architect found the inspectors office, and then we were directed down the hall to an empty meeting room. I took my seat at the far end of the table on one side with my client ahead of me and the GC next to him. Across from my client sat the foreman and the architect across from the GC, leaving the head of the table for the county Codes Enforcement Officer. A minute later he walks in and, just as I had predicted, was at best 5‘-5” tall, and the Barney Fife analogy was complete.
COE Barney went through the itemized list one by one, each time the architect summarizing, asking the appropriate person to provide more detail, then confirming the appropriateness of each with the CEO. When it came to the hanging cripple wall, she turned to me.
“What exactly are you looking for, sir?” I asked the CEO. “I need to see cross sections at each different section, load calculations, required type and number of fasteners. You ought to know this, being an engineer and all” he said with the hint of a smirk.
“Yeah, well, I decided that’s going to take too much of my time drafting all that up, and since time is money, would cost my client too much for what it’s worth. I saw this gentleman here do a pull-up on it earlier this morning. It’s obviously okay, so I’m just going to go ahead and approve it.”
“Wait just one minute- I’m the only one here that does any approving” he said with much indignation.
Actually, sir, according to the Administrative Code, section xyz, once I hand you a letter stating that the structure is okay as built, ‘the CEO shall approve it.’”
He launched out of his chair and practically climbed up on to of the table towards me and shouted “It doesn’t say shall!”
I looked over at the GC, elbows on the table, looking off in the distance, holding his chin. Everyone in the room, based on the reaction that they had just witnessed, knew that I was 100% correct. Calmly I corrected the CEO. “Actually, sir, it does. It’s right here in section…”
“Look here” interrupting me, suddenly assuming a more pleasant tone as he sat down. “We don’t have to turn this into a pissing match.” As his ass hit the seat he turned to the architect as she quietly said “maybe if I draw a generic cross section and sealed it, would that be sufficient?”
“Yeah, that would work for me.” And the meeting was over. As we filed out he shook everyone’s hand except mine.
I had my "Barney Fife" moment with a North Carolina State Trooper. I was the on scene commander of a spill clean up where a tanker had rolled over on the interstate and was leaking gasoline at the cam lock valve. Had to send a guy in, in class B PPE, to shut the valve with a brass wrench. An asshole puckering job to say the least.
While I was discussing the details of what we were going to do and who was going to do it with the local Sheriff and a Lt. Fire Chief. That's when a State Trooper walked into the exclusion zone we had set up for operations without authorization. As soon as he walked up to our group he keyed the mike on his radio and I promptly asked him is that radio was intrinsically safe? He just gave me an amused look and said "I have no idea". I said..not cool...do that again and I'll have you removed from the site. The stupid fuck then just to show his ass keyed his mike again. I looked at the Sheriff and he turned to the State Trooper and said "Come on...you're out of here". To which the Trooper said "By who's authority?". The Sheriff pointed to me and said "He's the Certified Hazmat Manager and the legal on scene commander, so he is.". So the Sheriff and a deputy escorted him out of the exclusion zone.
I was livid. That stupid Trooper could have incinerated us all if his radio has thrown a spark near the gas. However, the look on his face when I had him removed from the exclusion zone was priceless.
Wow what a stupid fool. Hopefully they got his sorry ass trained before he made the nightly news as a human fireball. LOL
"De code! De code!"
Self-awareness isn't your strong suit, is it, Tattoo? Know what is? Obsessing.
A long time ago I was talking to a friend of mine while he was still in his residency, about his Barney Fife moment. He witnessed a car wreck in front of him so pulled over to help, and as he was treating an injured woman another car screeched to a halt, the driver ran out of the car and grabbed my friends shoulder, pulling him away yelling "don't worry I'm a paramedic!" My friend shoved him back, hard, and yelled: "Fuck you! I'm a doctor!"
"De code! De code!"
Self-awareness isn't your strong suit, is it, Tattoo? Know what is? Obsessing.
Who's obsessing?
Not quite a Barney Fife moment but shows how dangerously dumb and incompetent some contractors can be.
About 5pm one afternoon my phone rang and it was a contractor, whom I have never done business with before. The tone of his voice was of resentment, as if he had been told to call me and didn't want to.
"How much to..."
Phone calls that start with that don't go over well in my office. I provide a service based on a highly specialized need. Folks aren't buying from an all-you-can-eat menu. But I always listen anyway, if nothing us but for entertainment value...
"How much to come and approve this addition over here?"
"Well, can you tell me the address of the site?", which he did. It was a residential address, so I could rule out commercial properties.
"Can you tell me about the house and the addition?", which he did.
"Why aren't you calling the building inspector?"
He then explained to me that the inspector didn't want to approve what he had built, so suggested that he call me. "So how much?"
"Well sir, I charge based on my hourly rate of X, including my drive time and mileage. Based on what you've told me so far I can estimate that my cost will be in the range of y to z."
Silence on the other end of the phone. I've learned to wait these types out.
"That's a lot of money" he said.
"Sir, you are free to call another engineer."
Another pregnant pause, followed by "He told me to call you. He said I had to do it today, so I guess I'm just going to have to deal with this." So he agreed and I made an appointment for the next morning at 9am.
I drove to the site address, noting the age of the homes in the area, a 20 year old development, average sized homes, vinyl siding, expanded ranches, side entry garages, and large sloping lots. I parked on the street and then walked across the large side lawn down to the rear of the house. As I entered the rear yard I saw an older gentleman, likely my client, and a younger man with a clipboard, obviously the building inspector. They noticed me and acknowledged my presence. They were behind the addition, looking up at it.
Still 50 feet away I looked up, saw the addition and the experience caused me to freeze in my tracts. The blood ran out of my face and my eyes must have gotten very wide.
Now I've seen a lot of things in my long career but I never saw anything like this. This house had a tall walk-out basement at the rear so that the main level was about 10 or 11 feet off the ground at the rear wall. The addition was a room tacked on to a portion of the rear, about 12' wide x 16 feet long away from the house. It was supported at the house side, somehow, then at the outboard side by a "bent", which is a beam supported by two columns. Due to the slope of the land underneath, the length of the columns was about 14 feet.
And they were constructed of two wythes of brick. Two in one course, followed by two at 90 degrees, repeat. Two un-reinforced masonry columns less than 8" wide by 14 feet tall.
Then I heard a window open and saw the owner, a woman in her fifties, standing inside the addition looking out the open window. I yelled up to her: "M'am, I need you to get out of the room now, take anyone or any pets with you and don't go back in until further notice. Lock the door after you. Please do it now, as I'm condemning this project until it is made safe." Her mouth was wide open- she heard me loud and clear.
Then I walked over to my supposed client and the county inspector, occasionally looking over at the columns, checking them for plumb. The inspector was nodding his head in agreement, and the builder was furious. "Who the hell do you think you are..." I raised my hand and stopped him.
"I don't suppose you have any reinforcing in those columns, do you?" I asked him. His face went from anger to confused. "I don't see how you could anyway. Don't you realize what you've just done?" Then I explained. "When, not IF, but when, these columns collapse, they will do so explosively. There won't be any bowing, like if they were made of wood and a little too small for the job. They will buckle instantaneously, then the structure will free fall, killing anyone below it and likely the occupants inside of it. I need you to get on the phone, now, and have your supply company deliver two long 6x6 posts, this morning, and you need to have your crew here to prop them under that beam."
"Is that it?"
"No. Then you need to demolish the brick and replace them with 8x8's. Treated. Use Simpson bases and caps- they'll know what to order." Then I just stared at him.
"I'm not paying you to order me around!"
"Good", I replied. "I don't want clients like you."
I looked at the inspector again, he nodded his agreement, and I walked away.
About 5pm one afternoon my phone rang and it was a contractor, whom I have never done business with before. The tone of his voice was of resentment, as if he had been told to call me and didn't want to.
"How much to..."
Phone calls that start with that don't go over well in my office. I provide a service based on a highly specialized need. Folks aren't buying from an all-you-can-eat menu. But I always listen anyway, if nothing us but for entertainment value...
"How much to come and approve this addition over here?"
"Well, can you tell me the address of the site?", which he did. It was a residential address, so I could rule out commercial properties.
"Can you tell me about the house and the addition?", which he did.
"Why aren't you calling the building inspector?"
He then explained to me that the inspector didn't want to approve what he had built, so suggested that he call me. "So how much?"
"Well sir, I charge based on my hourly rate of X, including my drive time and mileage. Based on what you've told me so far I can estimate that my cost will be in the range of y to z."
Silence on the other end of the phone. I've learned to wait these types out.
"That's a lot of money" he said.
"Sir, you are free to call another engineer."
Another pregnant pause, followed by "He told me to call you. He said I had to do it today, so I guess I'm just going to have to deal with this." So he agreed and I made an appointment for the next morning at 9am.
I drove to the site address, noting the age of the homes in the area, a 20 year old development, average sized homes, vinyl siding, expanded ranches, side entry garages, and large sloping lots. I parked on the street and then walked across the large side lawn down to the rear of the house. As I entered the rear yard I saw an older gentleman, likely my client, and a younger man with a clipboard, obviously the building inspector. They noticed me and acknowledged my presence. They were behind the addition, looking up at it.
Still 50 feet away I looked up, saw the addition and the experience caused me to freeze in my tracts. The blood ran out of my face and my eyes must have gotten very wide.
Now I've seen a lot of things in my long career but I never saw anything like this. This house had a tall walk-out basement at the rear so that the main level was about 10 or 11 feet off the ground at the rear wall. The addition was a room tacked on to a portion of the rear, about 12' wide x 16 feet long away from the house. It was supported at the house side, somehow, then at the outboard side by a "bent", which is a beam supported by two columns. Due to the slope of the land underneath, the length of the columns was about 14 feet.
And they were constructed of two wythes of brick. Two in one course, followed by two at 90 degrees, repeat. Two un-reinforced masonry columns less than 8" wide by 14 feet tall.
Then I heard a window open and saw the owner, a woman in her fifties, standing inside the addition looking out the open window. I yelled up to her: "M'am, I need you to get out of the room now, take anyone or any pets with you and don't go back in until further notice. Lock the door after you. Please do it now, as I'm condemning this project until it is made safe." Her mouth was wide open- she heard me loud and clear.
Then I walked over to my supposed client and the county inspector, occasionally looking over at the columns, checking them for plumb. The inspector was nodding his head in agreement, and the builder was furious. "Who the hell do you think you are..." I raised my hand and stopped him.
"I don't suppose you have any reinforcing in those columns, do you?" I asked him. His face went from anger to confused. "I don't see how you could anyway. Don't you realize what you've just done?" Then I explained. "When, not IF, but when, these columns collapse, they will do so explosively. There won't be any bowing, like if they were made of wood and a little too small for the job. They will buckle instantaneously, then the structure will free fall, killing anyone below it and likely the occupants inside of it. I need you to get on the phone, now, and have your supply company deliver two long 6x6 posts, this morning, and you need to have your crew here to prop them under that beam."
"Is that it?"
"No. Then you need to demolish the brick and replace them with 8x8's. Treated. Use Simpson bases and caps- they'll know what to order." Then I just stared at him.
"I'm not paying you to order me around!"
"Good", I replied. "I don't want clients like you."
I looked at the inspector again, he nodded his agreement, and I walked away.
SO fucking impressive!
Except that the the guy who yelled "I'm a doctor!" wasn't a friend of yours, nor did he even know you.
In typical Dark Stool fashion, you're just trying to elevate your pathetic nobody status by implying that you are friends with people like doctors.
When in fact, what few friends you do have, are closer to ditch diggers and other fellow manual laborers.
As a matter of fact, you are more Barney Fife-like than the people you're trying to make fun of.
How fucking pathetic does one have to be to post such boringly mundane bullshit?
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Canceled
Well, ... we get to benefit by Dark Soul re-telling the Tall Tales here on the Forum.
Jack, are back on the crack?
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Canceled
Lol
Wow, three fails for you here.
1. I have several close friends/ business associates who are physicians.
2. I wouldn't be ashamed to have friends who are manual laborers. Unlike you, I judge people by their character, not their profession or net worth.
3. I'm not trying to make fun at anyone here. If you find these people to be amusing then that is your finding not mine.
And here I thought you and he were best buds.
cancel2 2022
Canceled
Wow, three fails for you here.
1. I have several close friends/ business associates who are physicians.
2. I wouldn't be ashamed to have friends who are manual laborers. Unlike you, I judge people by their character, not their profession or net worth.
3. I'm not trying to make fun at anyone here. If you find these people to be amusing then that is your finding not mine.
SoMad and Dumber are bum chums, who love nothing better than smoking each other's pork.
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fify