Do married people share money?

Jarod said:
No method is right or wrong... But trying to control a married partner with money is a warning sign for a marriage.
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Or any relationship. If someone is trying to control you, walk or run away. I guess ppl get into trouble when they can't figure out the controlling part, and mistake it for love or caring or protection.
 
In fifty years plus of marriage, the gestapo and I have never had his and her money.

My daughter and her ex had that, however, which simplified, of course, the divorce.
 
Jarod said:
I keep hearing about married couples talk about my money and their partners money, and whose money it is.

That’s not how my marriage works.

My wife and I both make money and it goes into a joint account. When we spend on everyday things we don’t consult with each other but if we spend a lot extra or buy a big ticket item we discuss it.

I find it strange when couples live in a way that requires one or the other to ask all the time or use “their own money”.

How do you do it and why?
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Same here, Jarod. Our money goes into a joint checking and or savings account. Big purchases are discussed and a course of action is decided ahead of time. My “preaching” is split and of it we keep out $100 a week to split between us (our allowance, we call it) and deposit the rest into checking.

I don’t usually spend $50 a week so I “rat hole” what I have left and any cash I make from other jobs. That’s my gun/golfing/motorcycle money. I use it to pay my yearly dues at the country club and to buy guns and ammo. But even if I use my rat hole money to make a large purchase I talk it over with the wife.

I never got this hers/mine stuff even before I got married.
 
leaningright said:
Same here, Jarod. Our money goes into a joint checking and or savings account. Big purchases are discussed and a course of action is decided ahead of time. My “preaching” is split and of it we keep out $100 a week to split between us (our allowance, we call it) and deposit the rest into checking.

I don’t usually spend $50 a week so I “rat hole” what I have left and any cash I make from other jobs. That’s my gun/golfing/motorcycle money. I use it to pay my yearly dues at the country club and to buy guns and ammo. But even if I use my rat hole money to make a large purchase I talk it over with the wife.

I never got this hers/mine stuff even before I got married.
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Otherwise it really does not seem like a marriage, to me.
 
leaningright said:
Same here, Jarod. Our money goes into a joint checking and or savings account. Big purchases are discussed and a course of action is decided ahead of time. My “preaching” is split and of it we keep out $100 a week to split between us (our allowance, we call it) and deposit the rest into checking.

I don’t usually spend $50 a week so I “rat hole” what I have left and any cash I make from other jobs. That’s my gun/golfing/motorcycle money. I use it to pay my yearly dues at the country club and to buy guns and ammo. But even if I use my rat hole money to make a large purchase I talk it over with the wife.

I never got this hers/mine stuff even before I got married.
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A country club member, you’re fancy.
 
The real problem with marriage isn't just money management.

We've glorified family life and made marriage with children the default mode.

Family living is great, or can be, but it's not the ONLY great way to live.

Marriage isn't for everybody.
Parenthood isn't for everybody.

There are other ways to live, and for the right people, they are great ways to live.

We simply don't speak enough about that.
 
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