Dolphin Safe? Fuck You

/MSG/

/MSG/

Uwaa OmO
Today my wife happened to be watching some sort of garbage on Lifetime. I was busy trying to find the bleach to end it all, when I heard a commercial about saving dolphins and eating 'dolphin safe' tuna. Why? Because dolphins are cute? Fuck you, I hate dolphins. They're
murderous pseudo fish who are just as likely to rape and/or kill you as to save you from a harmless shark, and they steal all my fuckin bait, line, and hooks when I'm ocean fishing. So I say fuck dolphins and fuck dolphin safe tuna. I want tuna that's tuna safe, meaning that its 100% murderous sea mammal in that tin can. I can't wait till I can go to Japan to fish for those stupid fucking animals. Lets see them steal my stuff with a harpoon through their face.
 
Sterling Archer said:
Today my wife happened to be watching some sort of garbage on Lifetime. I was busy trying to find the bleach to end it all, when I heard a commercial about saving dolphins and eating 'dolphin safe' tuna. Why? Because dolphins are cute? Fuck you, I hate dolphins. They're
murderous pseudo fish who are just as likely to rape and/or kill you as to save you from a harmless shark, and they steal all my fuckin bait, line, and hooks when I'm ocean fishing. So I say fuck dolphins and fuck dolphin safe tuna. I want tuna that's tuna safe, meaning that its 100% murderous sea mammal in that tin can. I can't wait till I can go to Japan to fish for those stupid fucking animals. Lets see them steal my stuff with a harpoon through their face.
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Nice rant man.....feel better now?
 
You know what I hate? Old people who can't drive. Worse, one's who got to navigate when their in the passenger seat cause they can't drive for shit anymore but still gotta be nazi little control freaks and start barking all these directions cause they fucking know all these god damned shortcuts that take you down some dilapidated old goat path no one if their right fucking mind ever drives on that takes you 30 miles out of your fucking way so they can show you some cocksucking big red barn that know one gives a rats ass about in the first place only to end up at the wrong fucking place cause the Alzheimer infected son of a bitch forgot where the fuck they were going. Or worse, when one of those fucking silver foxes jumps up at 4 in the fucking morning, goobles down enough medications to kill Man O War and then preceed to jump on the road in the middle of fucking rush hour like all the mother fuckers stuck behind them while their cruising at 40 mph in the passing lane have all god damned day to get to work till you get so pissed you yell "HEY GRANDPA GET THE FUCK OVER THIS ISN"T EUROPE!".

That's what I hate.
 
LOL at the board drunk.
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Mott the Hoople said:
You know what I hate? Old people who can't drive. Worse, one's who got to navigate when their in the passenger seat cause they can't drive for shit anymore but still gotta be nazi little control freaks and start barking all these directions cause they fucking know all these god damned shortcuts that take you down some dilapidated old goat path no one if their right fucking mind ever drives on that takes you 30 miles out of your fucking way so they can show you some cocksucking big red barn that know one gives a rats ass about in the first place only to end up at the wrong fucking place cause the Alzheimer infected son of a bitch forgot where the fuck they were going. Or worse, when one of those fucking silver foxes jumps up at 4 in the fucking morning, goobles down enough medications to kill Man O War and then preceed to jump on the road in the middle of fucking rush hour like all the mother fuckers stuck behind them while their cruising at 40 mph in the passing lane have all god damned day to get to work till you get so pissed you yell "HEY GRANDPA GET THE FUCK OVER THIS ISN"T EUROPE!".

That's what I hate.
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You say all that while riding a bicycle in the road.
 
Mott the Hoople said:
You know what I hate? Old people who can't drive. Worse, one's who got to navigate when their in the passenger seat cause they can't drive for shit anymore but still gotta be nazi little control freaks and start barking all these directions cause they fucking know all these god damned shortcuts that take you down some dilapidated old goat path no one if their right fucking mind ever drives on that takes you 30 miles out of your fucking way so they can show you some cocksucking big red barn that know one gives a rats ass about in the first place only to end up at the wrong fucking place cause the Alzheimer infected son of a bitch forgot where the fuck they were going. Or worse, when one of those fucking silver foxes jumps up at 4 in the fucking morning, goobles down enough medications to kill Man O War and then preceed to jump on the road in the middle of fucking rush hour like all the mother fuckers stuck behind them while their cruising at 40 mph in the passing lane have all god damned day to get to work till you get so pissed you yell "HEY GRANDPA GET THE FUCK OVER THIS ISN"T EUROPE!".

That's what I hate.
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Ahhh, Gramps remembers that barn from when he was a kid.

I recall hiding behind a hay rake
hayrakeNH.JPG
one afternoon when visiting the neighbor's daughter. Her grandmother entered the barn and called her. We huddled behind the rake, quiet as a mouse. The grandmother was sure she saw us enter the barn.

Anyway, she left and we watched through a crack in the old wall boards. Making sure she returned to the house we.....well, we made memories. :)
 
Sterling Archer said:
Today my wife happened to be watching some sort of garbage on Lifetime. I was busy trying to find the bleach to end it all, when I heard a commercial about saving dolphins and eating 'dolphin safe' tuna. Why? Because dolphins are cute? Fuck you, I hate dolphins. They're
murderous pseudo fish who are just as likely to rape and/or kill you as to save you from a harmless shark, and they steal all my fuckin bait, line, and hooks when I'm ocean fishing. So I say fuck dolphins and fuck dolphin safe tuna. I want tuna that's tuna safe, meaning that its 100% murderous sea mammal in that tin can. I can't wait till I can go to Japan to fish for those stupid fucking animals. Lets see them steal my stuff with a harpoon through their face.
Click to expand...

I've never had that problem before, but thanks for the tip.
 
Sterling Archer said:
Today my wife happened to be watching some sort of garbage on Lifetime. I was busy trying to find the bleach to end it all, when I heard a commercial about saving dolphins and eating 'dolphin safe' tuna. Why? Because dolphins are cute? Fuck you, I hate dolphins. They're
murderous pseudo fish who are just as likely to rape and/or kill you as to save you from a harmless shark, and they steal all my fuckin bait, line, and hooks when I'm ocean fishing. So I say fuck dolphins and fuck dolphin safe tuna. I want tuna that's tuna safe, meaning that its 100% murderous sea mammal in that tin can. I can't wait till I can go to Japan to fish for those stupid fucking animals. Lets see them steal my stuff with a harpoon through their face.
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If you want to harpoon dolphins I have no real problem with it. But I do have a problem with tuna nets killing dolphins and tossing them aside like garbage.
 
WinterBorn said:
If you want to harpoon dolphins I have no real problem with it. But I do have a problem with tuna nets killing dolphins and tossing them aside like garbage.
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I do too, that's why I want 100% dolphin in those cans. If you're going to murder the murder fish, might as well eat it.
 
Billy's just upset that the last time he got drunk he woke up in the drink with a dolphin humping his leg.
 
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