DamnYankee
Loyal to the end
Hilarious.
APP - Education For A Republican
- Thread starter midcan5
- Start date
Hilarious.
Minister of Truth
Practically Perfect
In general, it's hard to imagine people like me due to how awesome I am.
Thanks for that, that fits into the very thing I am saing - no substance, just a lot of words and always someone to point the finger at while forgetting to check any mirrors. Stanley Fish has a much more substantive piece, check it out.
http://www.drugsense.org/tfy/hijacked.htm
"Nor would it be enough to give someone "on the outside" a set of definitions because in order to grasp the meaning of an individual term, you must already have grasped the general activity in relation to which it could be thought to be meaningful... an understanding that operates above or across situations--would have no place in the world even if it were available, because it is only in situations--with their interested specifications as to what counts as a fact, what it is possible to say, what will be heard as an argument--that one is called on to understand." Stanley Fish
Ah, the typical Threedee response, wuzzy, no substance, is it any wonder the child whines about everything but adds nothing. Hopefully Threedee is twelve or thereabouts as you clearly represent the wussification of America. Wingnuts are such a childish bunch. After watching CPAC this year, I've come to the conclusion the toughest conservative man is a woman, Ann Coulter, the rest of you are a bunch of do nothing whiners.
In general, it's hard to imagine people like me due to how awesome I am.
We should have a JPP Awesomeoff.
Minister of Truth
Practically Perfect
Sounds awesome!
Natch we can only include the Kewl Kidz Klub. The Trinity, me, Darla, Rana and a couple othrrs. No need to muddle it with trolls.
Auster
New member
Substance? In that link? That was just accusatory fingers pointed at republicans because juries acquitted policemen. I have my own beliefs at why they were acquitted and they aren't important. You prove nothing, not to me anywho, and I think your only point is to attack 'the right'.
Besides, by very definition, that list is in essence criticizing the right; simply by telling them to adopt new strategies implies the old ones weren't working.
The right needs to recognize a media war against them and in favor of 'progress'.
The right has been splintered and leeched by the left, resulting in several strains only existing in America.
The right needs to realize that certain issues, although still important, need to be let go of while they regain some control over the media. This media is controling our culture, assaulting our children.
The right needs to recognize that although the rich and powerful are amoung them, the everyman with morality is as well. The right needs to reach out more to these people, even though they lack the initiative to find the right.
The right has to intellectualize once more, placing more empathis on learning and questioning. Science and social conservatism do not exist in their own separate vacuum, and can (have) existed together.
The right needs to realize that there is no single 'left' that are their rivals, rather semi-organized groups making informal alliances based on a mutual enemy and a generalized direction. Communists are a good example. The right should be chipping away at the cohesion of these alliances, amoung other things.
I don't know about that. Many just separate themselves from the frustrations of politics.
Thanks for your reply, I appreciate anyone who does more than just snipe. My satirical college curriculum is not, I hope, simply pointing fingers, I would hope it describes with a bit of humor the republican party today. You may not agree, but when a party calls itself 'stupid' I think maybe the curriculum fits. Much of the attempted humor points to factual but ridiculous statements. You also need to review and consider the history of the republican party. I will provide my take in a link below.
It may just be that the 'right' needs to be attacked to use your phrase. Tell us what they have done except cause humongous deficits, unnecessary wars, and an unfair tax structure that does not help the nation? Media as the reason the right wing has a bad rep is too old and too tired. Media is corporate owned and operated, in my opinion it is conservative or wishy washy as it rarely, with 60 Minutes being an exception, present the reality of the working class and the poor in America. You need a new scapegoat for reality, plus Fox and lots of radio is very much in your ballpark, do they not influence?
No leftist could ever splinter the republican party if the party represented America. Republicans have done that all on their own and the third party in this play is the Tea Party, a group so ideological and rigid, nothing would / will ever get get done that did not fit into their ideological frame.
Media assaulting children? I fail to see how, although I would say that much of TV is pure crap - but that is another discussion. I agree on the science comment, but that again is the party splintering itself with outrageous statements on factual science. Again I address that and I think fairly. And rape is not rape, what a joke that was.
Interesting that you see the left as disparate groups and I see the right as an odd coalition of disparate groups that is partly the reason they cannot move to the middle. Poor Mitt had to move so far right the etch a sketch has no effect.
My whining comment was directed at the right wing that blames media and the left for their own creation of an image that does not work in a diverse America. You are guilty of the same, so my question is 'where's the beef?' Where are the republican accomplishments of the last sixty years that supported all of America.
Your sig on gays was also telling.
http://www.justplainpolitics.com/sh...deology-through-History&p=1049397#post1049397
Sixty years on not much has changed? "Republicans approve of the American farmer, but they are willing to help him go broke. They stand four-square for the American home -but not for housing. They are strong for labor - but they are stronger for restricting labor's rights. They favor minimum wage - the smaller the minimum wage the better. They endorse educational opportunity for all - but they won't spend money for teachers or for schools. They think modern medical care and hospitals are fine - for people who can afford them. They consider electrical power a great blessing - but only when the private power companies get their rake-off. They think American standard of living is a fine thing - so long as it doesn't spread to all the people. And they admire of Government of the United States so much that they would like to buy it." Harry S. Truman
Minister of Truth
Practically Perfect
Midcan, if you want serious discussion, then don't lead with stupid satire hit pieces...
Minister of Truth
Practically Perfect
No one cares.
Auster
New member
As far as the satyr, while perhaps clever on some levels, it is not inducive to conversation. It is bias, and you couldnt expect anyone who doesnt agree with the expressed view to take it seriously. Its an attack.
What party called itself stupid? I'm not sure I follow. My comment on intellectualism?
I think they have regrouped to some degree under Obama. The increased levels of scrutiny and attack they face seem to strengthen their resolve some.
The right has created debt, as the left has. Obama inherited debt from W. Bush, who ultimately got it from Reagan. Doesnt excuse Obama horrendous expenses.
Perhaps we have different definitions of conservative. Their structure is corprete but they are far from conservative.
Do they? I don't watch any tv or listen to much radio. You sure seem to think you know me.
Doubt it. The tea party is just the latest splinter. And it was ruined when it tried to expand. They didnt want to compromise, felt it ruinned our country to begin with.
You don't think an agenda is being presented by media? Even unconsciously, our opinions propagate when we communicate. Exposure breeds tolerance, even acceptance.
My take is that although there is clearly a crime committed, one has to recognize and accept risks when one's conduct and appearance are . . . conducive to such.
i.e. thrashing in the water around a shark is a good way to get attacked. If you don't thrash your chances of getting attacked are reduced a fair amount.
Okay, and I'm sure you think Obama is right winged because he support s corporations.
You mean the sig that changes about twice a week? Thanks for noticing; that is the reason it is there.
Revised due to changing situation that requires republicans remember who they are and stay on point.
Education For A Republican
Irritus College has educated republicans for nearly one hundred years, our goal has always been the same, prepare our students with the skills and the experience to keep the corporate status quo solidly profitable and republican. We provide our students with the tools for success and wealth, and a set of ideas that answer all the questions life gives to 'our' people, 'our Americans.' The curriculum provides the very best ideas of republican ideas past and present and prepares the student to be the same republican of the past into the future. A sampling of our core courses is listed below.
[This is an internal Irritus document and if revealed to the public will be denied and the messenger castigated by all the powers and means money can purchase and our media can make up.]
Republican Philosophy 101: No more complicated questions about why we are here, we know why we are here to support corporations and to make money. Face it future republicans, elections cost money and money comes from one place: our friends and benefactors. A favorite topic of the course is 'What's Wrong With Altruism,' an exposition of Ayn Rand's self interest as the only purpose and happiness in life. Self-interest, each person’s pursuit of happiness without any concern for others, is a God given right and one that works best when valued above all else. Unimpeded individualism, unregulated corporate freedom, our philosophy.
Deception Spin Propaganda 101: In this course the student will learn how information can be modified and changed regardless of content or truth. Examples include deficits. While primarily the result of republican policy, learn how deficits can be blamed on your opponent. Learn how Reagan's Phone policy became 'free stuff' from Obama, and how lies about welfare can be started and repeated even when other media sources refute them with facts. Heritage Foundation and other corporate supported think tanks worked with Irritus to refine our spin tactics. Study how Assault weapons changed meaning and use in a updated lecture meant for today's America.
Words and Slogans 201: How about the new buzz word 'demographics,' great diversionary word and the excuse for any republican loss. Immigration is another great buzz word even with our immigrant past. Professor Sterculus PhD covers appropriate buzz words such as freedom, markets, constitution, redistributing wealth, entitlements, fiscally conservative, and other generalities. He also reviews dying phrases such as 'compassionate conservatism' and 'trickle down economics.' Words to avoid are covered: justice, truth, golden rule, fairness, reason, and religious. Euphemisms that serve as cover for republican failures are outlined, and their uses in stump speeches articulated. As Lee Atwater noted years ago we must change our dog whistle words and phrases so that meaning is so vague only our own dogs, in a matter of speaking, hear the whistle. Learn how to avoid references to 'food stamps' while meaning food stamps. 'Tricky' would be proud of how far we have come.
Flag Pins and Symbols 101: How to wear your pins, wave your flag, and place your hand over your heart even if your money is in foreign banks, hidden away in the Cayman Islands, or your company outsourced American jobs to a sweat shop in China. See new Apple ad, they actually mention California in it. Great tactic. Placement of our flag on your status appealing foreign car is covered, and arguments about why you bought foreign are resolved and justly excused with Austrian economic theory.
Regulatory Maneuvering 101: Learn how to use public funds and public land to support private companies and use America's resources for private gain all the while appearing patriotic and concerned about America's future. Loopholes in environmental concerns are covered and explanatory reasons for pollution detailed. Global warming is detailed clearly as a plot against the free market and against corporate success.
Outsourcing 301: Learn how to use terminology that sounds meaningful but isn't related to the topic's underlying purpose. Corporations create their own reality, their own morality, our students are versed in 'it's not about you, it's about the corporation,' or 'the movement of work to China will help us continue the important work we do here at Colossal Corp Inc.' Colossal has hired high level people from AEI and Irritus students may find a suitable position there after graduation. Austrian economics provides the justificatory explanation. [Also check our Words and Slogans study courses]
Filibustering / Obstructionism Advanced Lessons: In this course you'll learn how to ask irrelevant questions, raise slippery slope arguments, defend the status quo, and waste vast amounts of time so as to stop any regulation or imposition on K street's financial backers. Practice is provided introducing the same bills with alternate explanations on why they are solutions for America. Witness Paul Ryan's introduction of the same bill with new and important reasons for passage of the same bill. Former congresswoman Michele Bachmann gives a history lesson on why Obama is destroying America with that special reading of history only Michelle can provide.
Gerrymandering 201: Irritus is proud of its obstructionist tactics when bills that do not support corporations or the wealthy are proposed in congress. It is essential the class of people who agree with our essential beliefs is aligned in such a way so that the largest number of our voting followers are placed together. How else could one get Ted Cruz, Sharon Angle, or that republican candidate who wasn't a witch. We've had some losses lately with too much honesty, but we are learning to stay away from rape, spaceships, aliens, conspiracies, and women's uteri, these complex topics show too clearly the lack of depth and insight of our aspiring leaders. Now that the republicans in the supreme court have struck down civil rights law, we can return to Jim Crow tactics, but remember this must be clearly justified because of the pretense that voter fraud is rampant.
Government as Problem 102: Students from Joe McCarthy to Ted Cruz and Alan West have learned how to stir the pot of dissent against government. Reagan led the way, government interference in the working of corporations is covered and state's rights emphasized whenever federal law and regulation are unfavorable to our republican sponsors. It really doesn't matter that there are no longer communists except as business partners of Walmart in China, many of our rural republicans living in the remote cities in the mid west and south still believe. So mentioning 'the commies are coming' only helps. Use of socialist and socialism as covers for opposition to government is documented. This course covers the transitional change from 'love it or leave it' to the present use of government as problem. It helps to integrate notions of change with the fact nothing changes without republican and corporate approval.
Liberal Media 101: In this course you will study the war on the GOP, on conservatives, and on free market libertarians. MSM will remain the source of complicated and honest reporting and thus will always be the easy foe. If information does not fit a republican narrative of freedom and growth it is by default wrong. Aside from FOX and numerous corporate supported conservative talk shows, any attempt by Media to clarify a complex issue that disagrees with corporate talking points must be labeled liberal bias and thus marginalized. Fox media includes the highest number of Irritus graduates with Heritage, Cato, and AEI as places where our best students find work.
Free Market 101: This course covers any public attempt to control corporations. Positive outcomes are the working of the free market, negative outcomes the work of government. It is really that simple. Two credits are given for learning this mantra. Some of our students actually have it tattooed on their arm for quick reference.
Budgets, Deficits and Healthcare 101: Christian and religious principles must be modified if we are to be profitable in business. if someone mentions racism it must be converted into a slogan rather than a reality. Wars are patriotic, Wars create deficits but they support the corporate complex of the defense industry and provide after college and after congress job opportunities. Let's keep that in mind and remind our libertarian brethren. Ryan's Budget attempts may hurt the lesser among us, but this could help incentivise them to work harder or even provide them placement in privately owned prison facilities, another one our many benefactors and a growth business in America.
Tax Avoidance 101: This course is a hands-on tax consultant taught course. Students bring their savings and piggybanks to class and consultants through modeling examples show them where they can hide their capital from taxes and Uncle Sam. Later in the course money is deposited in foreign nations, places like the Cayman Islands, Dominican Republic, and Switzerland. This prepares our students for life as a established republican, a retired republican benefactor of other republicans, and a tax exempt partner in our school.
Freedom and Guns - Extended Class: This course covers the complexity of the often inconsistent approaches required for freedom. Freedom as we know covers lots of bases for republicans. While the 2nd Amendment is about a regulated militia that format does not work for the profit class. America has lots of guns and lots of death, but in a real sense these both contribute to our goals and ideology. Money is made in purchase and money is made in death, and money is received from our support of guns and our cries of a loss of freedom. Whenever regulation is mentioned more money pours in to republican coffers. This topic is a win win for republicans in most areas of America. Always remember when stuck for an answer, freedom followed by States rights, is always the answer.
Gay Marriage: We needed to adjust our focus on this issue, our goal in life is profit and gays buy too. So in this course you'll learn how to address rural folk and how to address city folk. City people may actually know gay people, rural folk only know their neighbor and they ain't gay or at least openly gay. Rural people get all their news from Fox, Rush Limbaugh, and other right wing media. So address your audience accordingly and when on national TV talk about your own marriage and how happy you are. If you are gay, just say you haven't found the right one yet. Use words like tradition, family, and children. 'One man, one woman is so American, just like apple pie,' sounds so nice.
Rape Contraceptives Abortion 101: Here's a real life example of how an unprepared republican can get in trouble. The aspirin between the legs didn't go over well, nor did the many exculpatory discussions of types of rape. It is important we test the waters and find common ground before venturing forth in this area. Our teachers bring together religion and rhetoric so the answers bring forth memories of bible study and children. We blend these in such a way that giving birth becomes a woman's greatest freedom. Women make up the majority of voters and while this topic (abortion) is important to our base constituency, we have to find an ambiguous ground in which it's hard to figure out what we are supporting or even what we are saying. 'Mumbling made Simple' is an elective and required for candidates on the national stage. Rick Santorum provides a video conference lesson.
Science Creationism Global Warming: While an elective, students flock to this course for fun and speculation. The more science oriented student may want to avoid it, but remember much of our base believes this stuff, thus we must give them fodder for conversation and dialogue. Science projects can also hurt business: consider acid rain, water pollution, toxic chemicals and global warming. Irritus approaches them from the business person's profit point of view. The Flintstones and Ark building are favorite areas of study and participation. Dead forests are shown as a revival of God's plans. A trip to 'Ark Encounter, Kentucky's Creationist Theme Park is also scheduled.
Entertaining Wealthy / Corporate Sponsors 110: This course was added in 2012 after an unfortunate republican was videotaped outlining genuine republican feelings about the working class in America. Being taped speaking honestly can be a big problem and thus we cover technologies and scanning devices to block and disguise our people. Public pronouncements must never stray from our fundamental slogan terms: liberty, freedom, free market, individualism, growth, patriotism, constitution, and responsibility. Even our sponsors are superficial materialists so remember stick to slogans. We know we didn't build it, but let's not get ourselves in trouble with actual history or our true sentiments. Always remember too lots of lower class workers and jobless vote republican. Remember your whistle words, but use them judiciously and off record.
Impeachment 101: After investigating Bill and Hillary for any scintilla of wrongdoing, we found a dress that had potential. Trouble was the economy was doing well, and many Americans still possess an individualistic character that looks the other way in personal wrongdoing. But impeachment sure fires up our base, let's face it folks most republican policies only help republicans and not America, this is where the enormous distraction of impeachment shines. 'Impeach 'impeach' lends itself well to rabble rousing of glory days gone by, and counters any changes that could lead to a fairer, juster society.
Irritus College appeals to those upper class aspirants who have only known the good life. As Charles Murray has observed, we are the educators of a class of youth who know nothing about working class people, empathy for our graduates is only displayed when informing workers that their work will be outsourced. Unions and high wages are the cause, the corporations will suffer your loss, but we just can't compete - you know well the other stock replies. Irritus stresses ideas of small government, less or no regulation, lower taxes, free market capitalism at its finest, all you need to know to be a republican today. We must maintain these principles as Ronald Reagan preached, and while we know Reagan was not perfect, history doesn't really matter so long as profits are up and average American workers remain insecure. Remember our mantra when in doubt, it's the liberal Main Stream Media, unions, communists, and socialists who are trying to transform our nation's values, these groups are out to destroy the American dream. They don't understand America. Our goal must be to maintain minds that serve the real goal of American freedom: making more money for our people.
Job Placement on K street, the Heritage Foundation, Fox, Cato, or AEI is guaranteed when you have a degree from Irritus College. Our students are the prepared ones, they have the answer regardless of the question. We realize these think tanks are not really about thinking, their task is creating ideas that support corporations and muddy the water of rational thinking people. But this is where our students excel. The propagation of distractive, empty ideas pays very well if our students can't get a cushy job in the legislatures of state or federal government. We hope to see you soon. Our semester cost structure will be updated in 2014.
Irritus is constantly updating our curriculum so please check often for later updates.
Education For A Republican
Irritus College has educated republicans for nearly one hundred years, our goal has always been the same, prepare our students with the skills and the experience to keep the corporate status quo solidly profitable and republican. We provide our students with the tools for success and wealth, and a set of ideas that answer all the questions life gives to 'our' people, 'our Americans.' The curriculum provides the very best ideas of republican ideas past and present and prepares the student to be the same republican of the past into the future. A sampling of our core courses is listed below.
[This is an internal Irritus document and if revealed to the public will be denied and the messenger castigated by all the powers and means money can purchase and our media can make up.]
Republican Philosophy 101: No more complicated questions about why we are here, we know why we are here to support corporations and to make money. Face it future republicans, elections cost money and money comes from one place: our friends and benefactors. A favorite topic of the course is 'What's Wrong With Altruism,' an exposition of Ayn Rand's self interest as the only purpose and happiness in life. Self-interest, each person’s pursuit of happiness without any concern for others, is a God given right and one that works best when valued above all else. Unimpeded individualism, unregulated corporate freedom, our philosophy.
Deception Spin Propaganda 101: In this course the student will learn how information can be modified and changed regardless of content or truth. Examples include deficits. While primarily the result of republican policy, learn how deficits can be blamed on your opponent. Learn how Reagan's Phone policy became 'free stuff' from Obama, and how lies about welfare can be started and repeated even when other media sources refute them with facts. Heritage Foundation and other corporate supported think tanks worked with Irritus to refine our spin tactics. Study how Assault weapons changed meaning and use in a updated lecture meant for today's America.
Words and Slogans 201: How about the new buzz word 'demographics,' great diversionary word and the excuse for any republican loss. Immigration is another great buzz word even with our immigrant past. Professor Sterculus PhD covers appropriate buzz words such as freedom, markets, constitution, redistributing wealth, entitlements, fiscally conservative, and other generalities. He also reviews dying phrases such as 'compassionate conservatism' and 'trickle down economics.' Words to avoid are covered: justice, truth, golden rule, fairness, reason, and religious. Euphemisms that serve as cover for republican failures are outlined, and their uses in stump speeches articulated. As Lee Atwater noted years ago we must change our dog whistle words and phrases so that meaning is so vague only our own dogs, in a matter of speaking, hear the whistle. Learn how to avoid references to 'food stamps' while meaning food stamps. 'Tricky' would be proud of how far we have come.
Flag Pins and Symbols 101: How to wear your pins, wave your flag, and place your hand over your heart even if your money is in foreign banks, hidden away in the Cayman Islands, or your company outsourced American jobs to a sweat shop in China. See new Apple ad, they actually mention California in it. Great tactic. Placement of our flag on your status appealing foreign car is covered, and arguments about why you bought foreign are resolved and justly excused with Austrian economic theory.
Regulatory Maneuvering 101: Learn how to use public funds and public land to support private companies and use America's resources for private gain all the while appearing patriotic and concerned about America's future. Loopholes in environmental concerns are covered and explanatory reasons for pollution detailed. Global warming is detailed clearly as a plot against the free market and against corporate success.
Outsourcing 301: Learn how to use terminology that sounds meaningful but isn't related to the topic's underlying purpose. Corporations create their own reality, their own morality, our students are versed in 'it's not about you, it's about the corporation,' or 'the movement of work to China will help us continue the important work we do here at Colossal Corp Inc.' Colossal has hired high level people from AEI and Irritus students may find a suitable position there after graduation. Austrian economics provides the justificatory explanation. [Also check our Words and Slogans study courses]
Filibustering / Obstructionism Advanced Lessons: In this course you'll learn how to ask irrelevant questions, raise slippery slope arguments, defend the status quo, and waste vast amounts of time so as to stop any regulation or imposition on K street's financial backers. Practice is provided introducing the same bills with alternate explanations on why they are solutions for America. Witness Paul Ryan's introduction of the same bill with new and important reasons for passage of the same bill. Former congresswoman Michele Bachmann gives a history lesson on why Obama is destroying America with that special reading of history only Michelle can provide.
Gerrymandering 201: Irritus is proud of its obstructionist tactics when bills that do not support corporations or the wealthy are proposed in congress. It is essential the class of people who agree with our essential beliefs is aligned in such a way so that the largest number of our voting followers are placed together. How else could one get Ted Cruz, Sharon Angle, or that republican candidate who wasn't a witch. We've had some losses lately with too much honesty, but we are learning to stay away from rape, spaceships, aliens, conspiracies, and women's uteri, these complex topics show too clearly the lack of depth and insight of our aspiring leaders. Now that the republicans in the supreme court have struck down civil rights law, we can return to Jim Crow tactics, but remember this must be clearly justified because of the pretense that voter fraud is rampant.
Government as Problem 102: Students from Joe McCarthy to Ted Cruz and Alan West have learned how to stir the pot of dissent against government. Reagan led the way, government interference in the working of corporations is covered and state's rights emphasized whenever federal law and regulation are unfavorable to our republican sponsors. It really doesn't matter that there are no longer communists except as business partners of Walmart in China, many of our rural republicans living in the remote cities in the mid west and south still believe. So mentioning 'the commies are coming' only helps. Use of socialist and socialism as covers for opposition to government is documented. This course covers the transitional change from 'love it or leave it' to the present use of government as problem. It helps to integrate notions of change with the fact nothing changes without republican and corporate approval.
Liberal Media 101: In this course you will study the war on the GOP, on conservatives, and on free market libertarians. MSM will remain the source of complicated and honest reporting and thus will always be the easy foe. If information does not fit a republican narrative of freedom and growth it is by default wrong. Aside from FOX and numerous corporate supported conservative talk shows, any attempt by Media to clarify a complex issue that disagrees with corporate talking points must be labeled liberal bias and thus marginalized. Fox media includes the highest number of Irritus graduates with Heritage, Cato, and AEI as places where our best students find work.
Free Market 101: This course covers any public attempt to control corporations. Positive outcomes are the working of the free market, negative outcomes the work of government. It is really that simple. Two credits are given for learning this mantra. Some of our students actually have it tattooed on their arm for quick reference.
Budgets, Deficits and Healthcare 101: Christian and religious principles must be modified if we are to be profitable in business. if someone mentions racism it must be converted into a slogan rather than a reality. Wars are patriotic, Wars create deficits but they support the corporate complex of the defense industry and provide after college and after congress job opportunities. Let's keep that in mind and remind our libertarian brethren. Ryan's Budget attempts may hurt the lesser among us, but this could help incentivise them to work harder or even provide them placement in privately owned prison facilities, another one our many benefactors and a growth business in America.
Tax Avoidance 101: This course is a hands-on tax consultant taught course. Students bring their savings and piggybanks to class and consultants through modeling examples show them where they can hide their capital from taxes and Uncle Sam. Later in the course money is deposited in foreign nations, places like the Cayman Islands, Dominican Republic, and Switzerland. This prepares our students for life as a established republican, a retired republican benefactor of other republicans, and a tax exempt partner in our school.
Freedom and Guns - Extended Class: This course covers the complexity of the often inconsistent approaches required for freedom. Freedom as we know covers lots of bases for republicans. While the 2nd Amendment is about a regulated militia that format does not work for the profit class. America has lots of guns and lots of death, but in a real sense these both contribute to our goals and ideology. Money is made in purchase and money is made in death, and money is received from our support of guns and our cries of a loss of freedom. Whenever regulation is mentioned more money pours in to republican coffers. This topic is a win win for republicans in most areas of America. Always remember when stuck for an answer, freedom followed by States rights, is always the answer.
Gay Marriage: We needed to adjust our focus on this issue, our goal in life is profit and gays buy too. So in this course you'll learn how to address rural folk and how to address city folk. City people may actually know gay people, rural folk only know their neighbor and they ain't gay or at least openly gay. Rural people get all their news from Fox, Rush Limbaugh, and other right wing media. So address your audience accordingly and when on national TV talk about your own marriage and how happy you are. If you are gay, just say you haven't found the right one yet. Use words like tradition, family, and children. 'One man, one woman is so American, just like apple pie,' sounds so nice.
Rape Contraceptives Abortion 101: Here's a real life example of how an unprepared republican can get in trouble. The aspirin between the legs didn't go over well, nor did the many exculpatory discussions of types of rape. It is important we test the waters and find common ground before venturing forth in this area. Our teachers bring together religion and rhetoric so the answers bring forth memories of bible study and children. We blend these in such a way that giving birth becomes a woman's greatest freedom. Women make up the majority of voters and while this topic (abortion) is important to our base constituency, we have to find an ambiguous ground in which it's hard to figure out what we are supporting or even what we are saying. 'Mumbling made Simple' is an elective and required for candidates on the national stage. Rick Santorum provides a video conference lesson.
Science Creationism Global Warming: While an elective, students flock to this course for fun and speculation. The more science oriented student may want to avoid it, but remember much of our base believes this stuff, thus we must give them fodder for conversation and dialogue. Science projects can also hurt business: consider acid rain, water pollution, toxic chemicals and global warming. Irritus approaches them from the business person's profit point of view. The Flintstones and Ark building are favorite areas of study and participation. Dead forests are shown as a revival of God's plans. A trip to 'Ark Encounter, Kentucky's Creationist Theme Park is also scheduled.
Entertaining Wealthy / Corporate Sponsors 110: This course was added in 2012 after an unfortunate republican was videotaped outlining genuine republican feelings about the working class in America. Being taped speaking honestly can be a big problem and thus we cover technologies and scanning devices to block and disguise our people. Public pronouncements must never stray from our fundamental slogan terms: liberty, freedom, free market, individualism, growth, patriotism, constitution, and responsibility. Even our sponsors are superficial materialists so remember stick to slogans. We know we didn't build it, but let's not get ourselves in trouble with actual history or our true sentiments. Always remember too lots of lower class workers and jobless vote republican. Remember your whistle words, but use them judiciously and off record.
Impeachment 101: After investigating Bill and Hillary for any scintilla of wrongdoing, we found a dress that had potential. Trouble was the economy was doing well, and many Americans still possess an individualistic character that looks the other way in personal wrongdoing. But impeachment sure fires up our base, let's face it folks most republican policies only help republicans and not America, this is where the enormous distraction of impeachment shines. 'Impeach 'impeach' lends itself well to rabble rousing of glory days gone by, and counters any changes that could lead to a fairer, juster society.
Irritus College appeals to those upper class aspirants who have only known the good life. As Charles Murray has observed, we are the educators of a class of youth who know nothing about working class people, empathy for our graduates is only displayed when informing workers that their work will be outsourced. Unions and high wages are the cause, the corporations will suffer your loss, but we just can't compete - you know well the other stock replies. Irritus stresses ideas of small government, less or no regulation, lower taxes, free market capitalism at its finest, all you need to know to be a republican today. We must maintain these principles as Ronald Reagan preached, and while we know Reagan was not perfect, history doesn't really matter so long as profits are up and average American workers remain insecure. Remember our mantra when in doubt, it's the liberal Main Stream Media, unions, communists, and socialists who are trying to transform our nation's values, these groups are out to destroy the American dream. They don't understand America. Our goal must be to maintain minds that serve the real goal of American freedom: making more money for our people.
Job Placement on K street, the Heritage Foundation, Fox, Cato, or AEI is guaranteed when you have a degree from Irritus College. Our students are the prepared ones, they have the answer regardless of the question. We realize these think tanks are not really about thinking, their task is creating ideas that support corporations and muddy the water of rational thinking people. But this is where our students excel. The propagation of distractive, empty ideas pays very well if our students can't get a cushy job in the legislatures of state or federal government. We hope to see you soon. Our semester cost structure will be updated in 2014.
Irritus is constantly updating our curriculum so please check often for later updates.
Special Lecture Notices:
'Irritus now conducts free lectures covering issues that are important to our public at large. Lectures will include timely topics that often confuse and complicate our simple message. Ambiguity in messaging can confuse our base and often even us.
Guns Safety and Slogans:
Citizens have every right to be safe in America, a massively armed society does not make anyone feel safe. Obviously it's important we support weapon manufacturers but at the same time our people must win re-election. So this lecture will cover how to avoid being looked upon as a nutcase with no concern for voter's safety. Topics include:
If your constituency is not full of rabid gun nuts how you can abstain from voting.
How to answer questions about the death of a loved one by unnecessary and once illegal automatic weapons.
How to appear sincerely concerned over children's deaths.
If your constituency, like Ted Cruz's, is full of gun nuts you're among the lucky ones. But death is final so try not to smile so much. We must appear caring.
Following the lecture there will be an open forum in which tactics going forward will be covered.
War Lecture
Another war, more deaths, more Muslim hatred of America, how do we talk about and defend the complexity that is the Middle East today and the hard part is how we justify all the spending that could help America, but instead is used to pay for cruise missiles?
Number one rule, always mention Hitler.
Then say we cannot look weak and the world is really on our side even if they are not.
Make sure collateral damage is aimed at the foes and is really their fault.
Bring home a badly wounded child to be used as a detraction from the horror of war, shows how much we care.
Praise the bravery of our people and the courage of our congress even though most would never serve in the military.
Remember always that with war come war profits and you know that mantra.
Our topics will be updated as topics and issues enter the public arena and confuse our base.
[Sorry, Our Faculty has not kept this up to date, some of our students are complaining as they don't always know what to say. We'll try to keep our course structure up to date. Thanks as always for your support.]
'Irritus now conducts free lectures covering issues that are important to our public at large. Lectures will include timely topics that often confuse and complicate our simple message. Ambiguity in messaging can confuse our base and often even us.
Guns Safety and Slogans:
Citizens have every right to be safe in America, a massively armed society does not make anyone feel safe. Obviously it's important we support weapon manufacturers but at the same time our people must win re-election. So this lecture will cover how to avoid being looked upon as a nutcase with no concern for voter's safety. Topics include:
If your constituency is not full of rabid gun nuts how you can abstain from voting.
How to answer questions about the death of a loved one by unnecessary and once illegal automatic weapons.
How to appear sincerely concerned over children's deaths.
If your constituency, like Ted Cruz's, is full of gun nuts you're among the lucky ones. But death is final so try not to smile so much. We must appear caring.
Following the lecture there will be an open forum in which tactics going forward will be covered.
War Lecture
Another war, more deaths, more Muslim hatred of America, how do we talk about and defend the complexity that is the Middle East today and the hard part is how we justify all the spending that could help America, but instead is used to pay for cruise missiles?
Number one rule, always mention Hitler.
Then say we cannot look weak and the world is really on our side even if they are not.
Make sure collateral damage is aimed at the foes and is really their fault.
Bring home a badly wounded child to be used as a detraction from the horror of war, shows how much we care.
Praise the bravery of our people and the courage of our congress even though most would never serve in the military.
Remember always that with war come war profits and you know that mantra.
Our topics will be updated as topics and issues enter the public arena and confuse our base.
[Sorry, Our Faculty has not kept this up to date, some of our students are complaining as they don't always know what to say. We'll try to keep our course structure up to date. Thanks as always for your support.]
if this was not so true it would be funny
we can only hope that the dims stay/get more organized and the repugs keep the tea party
oh well
Internal only: Irritus Policy Document
Several kudos are due this week for our finest graduates and spokesmen.
Ted Cruz was splendid in his use of 'lawlessness' and the associative power he brought to make executive orders seem lawless. Professor Sterculus PhD was proud of one of his favorite students and has added 'lawlessness' as a key term whenever used with our opposition's president. Read the brilliance of his words below.
"For all of those on the left who are willing to excuse the president’s lawlessness and disregarding federal law, there will come another president of the other party."
"Suppose the next president says, ‘I’m instructing the Treasury Department [to] no longer collect taxes at a higher rate than 25%,“That happens to be policy I agree with. I would love to see moving towards tax reform and lowering the top rates. And yet, that would be an extraordinarily bad outcome from the perspective of the Constitution and the protection of the liberty of the people." Cruz's remarks were on Glenn Beck’s radio program, a program we support and advertise on, but we must admit saying one of our goals out loud may have been a bit too brash, but you know Ted.
The Speaker of the House didn't miss this new use of 'lawlessness' and deftly used it to counter any progress on Immigration reform. Great move John, now we can keep our corporate sponsors happy with a continuation of their under the covers, and need we say underpaid, labor force. Great move, Johnnie.
Our third kudo goes to the right wing talking machine and its brilliant use of the CBO report as anti-jobs. It's critical we keep our voters confused over any benefits of Obamacare, the numerous press releases and comments from Representative Ryan, among others, called it a job killer and the constant repetition works as poll numbers for Paul Ryan demonstrate. Always remember regardless of truth, repetition works best. You go Paul.
More to follow - shred this document immediately after reading.
Several kudos are due this week for our finest graduates and spokesmen.
Ted Cruz was splendid in his use of 'lawlessness' and the associative power he brought to make executive orders seem lawless. Professor Sterculus PhD was proud of one of his favorite students and has added 'lawlessness' as a key term whenever used with our opposition's president. Read the brilliance of his words below.
"For all of those on the left who are willing to excuse the president’s lawlessness and disregarding federal law, there will come another president of the other party."
"Suppose the next president says, ‘I’m instructing the Treasury Department [to] no longer collect taxes at a higher rate than 25%,“That happens to be policy I agree with. I would love to see moving towards tax reform and lowering the top rates. And yet, that would be an extraordinarily bad outcome from the perspective of the Constitution and the protection of the liberty of the people." Cruz's remarks were on Glenn Beck’s radio program, a program we support and advertise on, but we must admit saying one of our goals out loud may have been a bit too brash, but you know Ted.
The Speaker of the House didn't miss this new use of 'lawlessness' and deftly used it to counter any progress on Immigration reform. Great move John, now we can keep our corporate sponsors happy with a continuation of their under the covers, and need we say underpaid, labor force. Great move, Johnnie.
Our third kudo goes to the right wing talking machine and its brilliant use of the CBO report as anti-jobs. It's critical we keep our voters confused over any benefits of Obamacare, the numerous press releases and comments from Representative Ryan, among others, called it a job killer and the constant repetition works as poll numbers for Paul Ryan demonstrate. Always remember regardless of truth, repetition works best. You go Paul.
More to follow - shred this document immediately after reading.
Irritus Update: Confidential Important (internal document)
Two issues have surfaced that require new approaches to our educational concepts and core curriculum. Transgender bathrooms (TB) and Donald Trump (DT) complicate our mission to maintain privilege for our people and to education our students. We will cover the easier topic first.
While TB is complicated socially and not covered in any archaic religious document, for instance we can't point to the Bible for help, it confuses and stirs up our base support. It is a great distraction from the fact Mitch and Paul do nothing but talk in their positions of authority. It also supports States rights issues and our Professors and students are well aware of the power States rights have in maintaining privilege. If we treat it as we do abortion it is a winner, we do nothing that will cost money for our people, but we keep them occupied with another topic. If a liberal or socially conscious moral person should protest we bring up our daughters in a bathroom with a man. This one is easy, now to the tough one.
Donald Trump has changed the dynamic of our party but we must still stick together. Paul Ryan recently endorsed DT, while this sounds like a denial of all we believe in, and it is, we must keep quiet and support him for a SCOTUS selection is at stack and we can't have another judicial lawyer selected. We must have a known ideologue in the image of Antonin. But, and there are lots of buts, with DT, while he claims to be a conservative republican, even we aren't conservatives, only republicans who support our people, our corporations and our institutions of training. Donald confuses in so many areas it may become necessary to have a translator, say on Fox, change his phrases to conform to our meanings. Our people learn from Fox. For instance on taxes we must allow the low tax message to continue even if it has failed for eighty years and counting. This allows monies that could be used for roads and bridges to be used for our corporations, financial institutions and our wealthy benefactors. If a bridge fails, we use the old Cadillac ruse of our hero Ronnie, only now we'll have to make it a Lexus mom. 'If there weren't so many on food stamps and welfare that bridge would still be standing.' Listen folks we played these cards since Coolidge Hoover and refined them with Reagan Bush, we can do it again.
Summer School schedules will be revised and distributed soon. Keep the faith.
Two issues have surfaced that require new approaches to our educational concepts and core curriculum. Transgender bathrooms (TB) and Donald Trump (DT) complicate our mission to maintain privilege for our people and to education our students. We will cover the easier topic first.
While TB is complicated socially and not covered in any archaic religious document, for instance we can't point to the Bible for help, it confuses and stirs up our base support. It is a great distraction from the fact Mitch and Paul do nothing but talk in their positions of authority. It also supports States rights issues and our Professors and students are well aware of the power States rights have in maintaining privilege. If we treat it as we do abortion it is a winner, we do nothing that will cost money for our people, but we keep them occupied with another topic. If a liberal or socially conscious moral person should protest we bring up our daughters in a bathroom with a man. This one is easy, now to the tough one.
Donald Trump has changed the dynamic of our party but we must still stick together. Paul Ryan recently endorsed DT, while this sounds like a denial of all we believe in, and it is, we must keep quiet and support him for a SCOTUS selection is at stack and we can't have another judicial lawyer selected. We must have a known ideologue in the image of Antonin. But, and there are lots of buts, with DT, while he claims to be a conservative republican, even we aren't conservatives, only republicans who support our people, our corporations and our institutions of training. Donald confuses in so many areas it may become necessary to have a translator, say on Fox, change his phrases to conform to our meanings. Our people learn from Fox. For instance on taxes we must allow the low tax message to continue even if it has failed for eighty years and counting. This allows monies that could be used for roads and bridges to be used for our corporations, financial institutions and our wealthy benefactors. If a bridge fails, we use the old Cadillac ruse of our hero Ronnie, only now we'll have to make it a Lexus mom. 'If there weren't so many on food stamps and welfare that bridge would still be standing.' Listen folks we played these cards since Coolidge Hoover and refined them with Reagan Bush, we can do it again.
Summer School schedules will be revised and distributed soon. Keep the faith.
AR15 Update
Irritus Update - Internal Document Not For Public Distribution
Guns were covered above in post: http://www.justplainpolitics.com/sh...cation-For-A-Republican&p=1416020#post1416020
But because our benefactors make more money on rifles and long guns it is critical we keep our message of gun safety consistent and constant. Our students and professors realize an AR15 in the home is overkill and if used by the frightened handler may kill the entire family as well as the intruder. Face it folks, many AR15 owners aren't the brightest bulb in the box as shown by all the accidental deaths. Bullet poof walls are being examined but may be too costly and difficult to install in trailers. So while none of our benefactors want to live next to some trigger happy weekend drunk armed with an AR15, we still need big sales, doesn't matter if sold based on dubious facts and confusing data. Irritus will publish the following info on right wing sites, gun hugger sites, and media such as FOX.
Why you need an AR15:
Burglars today often wear bullet proof clothing, your AR15 will penetrate most
Red scope attached to your AR15 guarantees clean kill with minimal home damage
Families must be instructed on first burst of firepower to hit the floor and stay there till all clear
Irreplaceable family pictures must be protected with bullet proof glass
Children's beds should be surrounded by bullet proof material if you can afford it
Wives, girlfriends, or adulterous relationships must know location of second or third bullet clip for quick delivery
Grandparents should sleep in basement or attic and floors must be reinforced
Apartments pose a particular problem as thin walls could cause you to shoot the old lady who lives next store
Family schedules should be reviewed daily so any late entry doesn't result in wasted bullets
Keep propane gas tank location clearly noted and protected as much as possible
Know where the water shutoff is in case of bursting pipes
Dogs cats fish birds and other household pets should be insured because they can't be moved or may even run into the line of fire
We need stories of AR15 saving the lives of people and hamsters because Americans love animals more than their neighbor. Play down all the accidental deaths and mass shootings. Stories like, 'while our walls are full of holes our cat lived through surgery for its missing leg.' The dog and fish may have died in the battle, but the intruder ran away. Grandma died happy in our bullet barrage, shouting 'shoot em' 'shoot em', she died for our freedom is on her tombstone. Stuff like that. Always remember stress freedom even if many causalities.
Irritus Update - Internal Document Not For Public Distribution
Guns were covered above in post: http://www.justplainpolitics.com/sh...cation-For-A-Republican&p=1416020#post1416020
But because our benefactors make more money on rifles and long guns it is critical we keep our message of gun safety consistent and constant. Our students and professors realize an AR15 in the home is overkill and if used by the frightened handler may kill the entire family as well as the intruder. Face it folks, many AR15 owners aren't the brightest bulb in the box as shown by all the accidental deaths. Bullet poof walls are being examined but may be too costly and difficult to install in trailers. So while none of our benefactors want to live next to some trigger happy weekend drunk armed with an AR15, we still need big sales, doesn't matter if sold based on dubious facts and confusing data. Irritus will publish the following info on right wing sites, gun hugger sites, and media such as FOX.
Why you need an AR15:
Burglars today often wear bullet proof clothing, your AR15 will penetrate most
Red scope attached to your AR15 guarantees clean kill with minimal home damage
Families must be instructed on first burst of firepower to hit the floor and stay there till all clear
Irreplaceable family pictures must be protected with bullet proof glass
Children's beds should be surrounded by bullet proof material if you can afford it
Wives, girlfriends, or adulterous relationships must know location of second or third bullet clip for quick delivery
Grandparents should sleep in basement or attic and floors must be reinforced
Apartments pose a particular problem as thin walls could cause you to shoot the old lady who lives next store
Family schedules should be reviewed daily so any late entry doesn't result in wasted bullets
Keep propane gas tank location clearly noted and protected as much as possible
Know where the water shutoff is in case of bursting pipes
Dogs cats fish birds and other household pets should be insured because they can't be moved or may even run into the line of fire
We need stories of AR15 saving the lives of people and hamsters because Americans love animals more than their neighbor. Play down all the accidental deaths and mass shootings. Stories like, 'while our walls are full of holes our cat lived through surgery for its missing leg.' The dog and fish may have died in the battle, but the intruder ran away. Grandma died happy in our bullet barrage, shouting 'shoot em' 'shoot em', she died for our freedom is on her tombstone. Stuff like that. Always remember stress freedom even if many causalities.
Mott the Hoople
Sweet Jane
Pretty much all of the. Only they use aborted fetal pigs.
Irritus U is happy that our standard bearer and presidential candidate Donald Trump has selected Mike Pence as his VP. Mike's values and votes in congress represent the values our college gives to its students. If America were ever able to have a stable fair society our benefactors and supporters would have to pay their fair share, and we cannot allow that to happen. We preach 'freedom' but that freedom must be controlled. Add to that a contented just society would be much harder to manipulate and thus elect representatives that stir up the pot of resentment over immigrants and minorities while supporting our people. Good luck Mike, Irritus supports you.
Voted NO on $15B bailout for GM and Chrysler. (Dec 2008)
Voted NO on $60B stimulus package for jobs, infrastructure, & energy. (Sep 2008)
Voted NO on revitalizing severely distressed public housing. (Jan 2008)
Voted NO on regulating the subprime mortgage industry. (Nov 2007)"
Future of conservatism demands traditional marriage. (Feb 2008)
Voted NO on prohibiting job discrimination based on sexual orientation. (Nov 2007)
Voted YES on Constitutionally defining marriage as one-man-one-woman. (Jul 2006)
Voted YES on making the PATRIOT Act permanent. (Dec 2005)
Voted YES on Constitutional Amendment banning same-sex marriage. (Sep 2004)
http://www.politifact.com/personalities/mike-pence/
Voted NO on $15B bailout for GM and Chrysler. (Dec 2008)
Voted NO on $60B stimulus package for jobs, infrastructure, & energy. (Sep 2008)
Voted NO on revitalizing severely distressed public housing. (Jan 2008)
Voted NO on regulating the subprime mortgage industry. (Nov 2007)"
Future of conservatism demands traditional marriage. (Feb 2008)
Voted NO on prohibiting job discrimination based on sexual orientation. (Nov 2007)
Voted YES on Constitutionally defining marriage as one-man-one-woman. (Jul 2006)
Voted YES on making the PATRIOT Act permanent. (Dec 2005)
Voted YES on Constitutional Amendment banning same-sex marriage. (Sep 2004)
http://www.politifact.com/personalities/mike-pence/