No, actually I know that I'm not anywhere near cool. And as an aside, I didn't know you were a lady when we first "met". I apologize for being belligerent and offensive. I really only try to reserve that for males, and even in such cases, its mostly tongue in cheek.
That being said, it it bizarre to me when someone describes their pecker in my body.
That, no matter how sane you think someone is, is a weird, Freudian slip.
You guys certainly go for the crude first thing...didn't you start off with him by calling him a "dickhole??? and didn't he then play off of that?