Girl Ruining Lives Continued, Cleaning up the Mess, Dealing with my Friend

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BRUTALITOPS

on indefiniate mod break
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This is a continuation of "why do girls like ruining lives?"

Why do girls like ruining lives? - Just Plain Politics!
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Summary
On the last episode, we left our hero Grind stuck with the fact that a blabbermouth ratted out information to one of Grind's good friends. This was stuff of the nature that I did not want my friend to know, nor does it concern him. In this episode, we must figure out the proper way to deal with this.
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Key Players

  • Grind - Me
  • Blabber - Girl who revealed things she shouldn't have been talking about
  • Friend - my friend who blabber told things too
Let me start by setting the following premises:

I have absolutely no qualms bold face about lying concerning this entire thing to my friend. I live by plausible deniability. I do not want my friend to accept this information.

Overall Goals

  1. Suppression of the Truth pertaining to SecretInfo
  2. The minimization of damage to myself
I must put ego aside and be as rational as possible with regards to this issue. In game theory fashion I need to choose the outcome that ultimately benefits ME the greatest.

We have a few options:


Option 1 - Flat out Denial

As anyone that is truly innocent, I won't even bring SecretInfo up... as if it were no big deal. When confronted, if at all, somewhere down the line, I will play dumb, then state blabber was lying and that "friend" is very gullible. I will stick to my guns and and use a brute force approach to hammering in my denial. Keep telling the lie and it eventually becomes truth.

  • Pros: Plausabile deniability. Very little evidence to support blabber. Though my outright denial may be a stretch to friend, with my constant unwavering denials and proclamation of innocence, he may have to give me the benefit of the doubt. He may have lingering suspicions but that's all they'll be. If this is able to succeed it is undoubtedly my choice option.

  • Cons: If he does not buy my outright denial I am left with no recourse, having already lied to friend twice before. Whereas I could have softened the blow in a much more believable manner by admitting only select facts (see option 2), "Option 1" is more of an "all or nothing approach."

Option 2 - Admit Small, Deny Big

This option concerns itself with giving me more control and latitude over my story and possibly making it more believable. In effect, I will "come clean" on certain aspects of SecretInfo, but DENY the parts of SecretInfo I do not want friend to accept. It would go something to the effect of: "ok ok x is true but y is complete bullshit, I don't know where blabber got that from..."

  • Pros: By SEEMING to be forthcoming, the denial of the more important parts of SecretInfo could be more likely to be believed. It helps to develop a rapport.

  • Cons: By admitting to friend that some of the stuff Blabber said was true, I allow for the possibility that my friend will believe other parts of SecretInfo are true, parts of which I do not want him to believe. Apparently before blabber spilled the beans, friend already had minor inclinations towards suspecting the truth, and my constant wavering could be interpreted as weakness and simply moving the line back yet again.

The Nature of SecretInfo

I'm sure you are all dying to know what secretinfo is at this point. I'm not saying the actual contents, but I will say the following:

  • I did not do anything morally or ethically wrong
  • It does not concern or have anything to do with friend
  • Blabber had no right to divuldge secretinfo
  • SecretInfo is comprised of many smaller things that all add up.
 
I really want to give advice and hate the girl, but I need to know two things:

1) Secret Info

2) And what you have on her.

I need to know secret info so that I can determine whether or not your hissy fit is even legitimate.

I need to know what you have on her because I'm inherently nosey.
 
LadyT said:
I really want to give advice and hate the girl, but I need to know two things:

1) Secret Info

2) And what you have on her.

I need to know secret info so that I can determine whether or not your hissy fit is even legitimate.

I need to know what you have on her because I'm inherently nosey.
Click to expand...

Damn, I want to know who the girl is!
 
This is way too much..........

personal information...and I do believe grind should seek professional help rather than ask for advice on a open forum when the girl involved has no idea what is being said about her and can't defend herself...so Grind at least invite this girl to the board for fair disclosure!
 
I would go with option two.

It will make you seem mre honest and you are avctuelly being more honest.

There is Option #3 which is to admitt all the truth and never have to hide it from your friend again.

Its very freeing to have a friend with whom you have no secrets.

Are you affraid he will not like you anymore?
 
Desh said:
I would go with option two.

It will make you seem mre honest and you are avctuelly being more honest.

There is Option #3 which is to admitt all the truth and never have to hide it from your friend again.

Its very freeing to have a friend with whom you have no secrets.

Are you affraid he will not like you anymore?
Click to expand...


I'm with Desh and her Option#3. At least play the scenario out in your head. Do you really want this shit hanging over your head like Damo's sword forever? my 2 cents
 
Grind said:
nope just don't like people knowing my business.
Click to expand...



Grind then why did you tell the girl?


You need to do some thinking on why you dont want people to really know you.

The world can be a lonely place, you dont really know that yet because you are at a very social age. There will come a time in your life that you will look arround and all of the sudden your "friends" have moved on. Its not because of anything wrong you do ,its just the course of life. Learn now not to hold back when there is no reason to. This is how you will learn to make deeper adult relatioships. If I recall you are arround 23. You like all of us have some learning about yourself to do. Dont stunt yourself, live life and learn how to trust. It will be to YOUR benifit in the end grindage.
 
Dilloduck said:
I'm with Desh and her Option#3. At least play the scenario out in your head. Do you really want this shit hanging over your head like Damo's sword forever? my 2 cents
Click to expand...

Nope, #3 is not an option. Friend will wonder why Grind trusted Blabber over their long-standing friendship. If Grind treasures his privacy, then he should not have revealed the SecretInfo at all. Grind has violated the rule of "Boys before Bitchs."
 
Desh said:
Grind then why did you tell the girl?


You need to do some thinking on why you dont want people to really know you.

The world can be a lonely place, you dont really know that yet because you are at a very social age. There will come a time in your life that you will look arround and all of the sudden your "friends" have moved on. Its not because of anything wrong you do ,its just the course of life. Learn now not to hold back when there is no reason to. This is how you will learn to make deeper adult relatioships. If I recall you are arround 23. You like all of us have some learning about yourself to do. Dont stunt yourself, live life and learn how to trust. It will be to YOUR benifit in the end grindage.
Click to expand...

Wise, Desh, but remember, early 20 something kids are pretty mindless.
 
Troglodyte27 said:
Nope, #3 is not an option. Friend will wonder why Grind trusted Blabber over their long-standing friendship. If Grind treasures his privacy, then he should not have revealed the SecretInfo at all. Grind has violated the rule of "Boys before Bitchs."
Click to expand...

she found out i did not tell her.
 
I have decided to go with Option Number 1.

By going with Option number 2 I am effectively conceding, and I think in his mind he'll suspect that which I still would refuse to deny. With Option 1, I am operating under the theory that with my flat out denial, few would suspect someone to completely bold face lie. I am going to completely disparage blabber and tear apart her credibility. I've already concocted a pretty good story about her that I think will sell well. Next I have ways of making my denial more credible. Lastly I'm going to guilt my friend with the whole "you've known me for how long and you are gonna trust this girl over me? When she has demonstrated nothing?"

I think all of the above will put me on the fast track to plausible deniability. As weeks and months go on and I continue to deny everything, he'll eventually accept my side of the story. This is going to be funnnnnnnnn. I'm actually liking the challenge I think lol.
 
Grind said:
I have decided to go with Option Number 1.

By going with Option number 2 I am effectively conceding, and I think in his mind he'll suspect that which I still would refuse to deny. With Option 1, I am operating under the theory that with my flat out denial, few would suspect someone to completely bold face lie. I am going to completely disparage blabber and tear apart her credibility. I've already concocted a pretty good story about her that I think will sell well. Next I have ways of making my denial more credible. Lastly I'm going to guilt my friend with the whole "you've known me for how long and you are gonna trust this girl over me? When she has demonstrated nothing?"

I think all of the above will put me on the fast track to plausible deniability. As weeks and months go on and I continue to deny everything, he'll eventually accept my side of the story. This is going to be funnnnnnnnn. I'm actually liking the challenge I think lol.
Click to expand...
:gives:
 
Beefy said:
Wise, Desh, but remember, early 20 something kids are pretty mindless.
Click to expand...



It never hurts the youngins to hear the truth. Who knows which ones will actually take some of it in and help themselves to a better , happier life a few years earlier than they could have.


Sometimes the ones who learn from the teachin aint even the ones it was originally aimed at.
 
Troglodyte27 said:
Nope, #3 is not an option. Friend will wonder why Grind trusted Blabber over their long-standing friendship. If Grind treasures his privacy, then he should not have revealed the SecretInfo at all. Grind has violated the rule of "Boys before Bitchs."
Click to expand...


I believe the correct term is "Bros before Bitches".

Being a Bitch I might be able to shead a little light on this man pack and its solidity. This tennant of manhood works very well in the early stages of the pact but has a tendancy to deteriate if the men are hetrosexual beings. You see unless you are a Bro who is willing to saciate the sexual needs of your friend as well as do his laundy, cook for him and mail gifts to his family members in his name on the correct dates you will likely be replaced in that line by a bitch one day.
 
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