Everclear is clearly the best.
Funny story, my uncle was out drinking one night (he's an alcoholic) and he had some Everclear stashed away. So he pulls it out, starts drinking it, and in his drunken stupor finds it the best drink ever. So next time he goes out and buys liquor (which is often) he gets a ton of everclear, goes back home, drinks it, and doesn't ever take another sip because it tastes so horrible.
The moral is... there is no moral. I make it a point to make stories specifically without a moral, to reflect my value and meaningless life.