How do I get out of thanksgiving?

Kip said:
Yes this is serious, but I don't know how many useful replies I will get. probably zero, but you never know.

For whatever reason, I have some major mental aversion to thanksgiving. I have talked about this in the past on here. It's not your typical "i don't like this holiday" (while secretly not minding it) - I truly truly do not like it, I feel uncomfortable about it, it's just bad bad bad...

Anyway, I am trying to come up with a viable of enough method to excuse myself from the festivities. Nothing is beneath me. My current plan is to pretend I have a lonely friend somewhere and that I want to give them company or something and I'll take a mini vacation somewhere. Other suggestions welcome
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I suppose that you could claim that you have an allergy to turkey and cranberry sauce.
 
Lowaicue said:
Simple.
Become British. We have no idea when the celebration is nor do we care. If it is on a Thursday it is good cos we can just go down the pub. Well - it doesn't really need to be a Thursday!
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It won't work. The barbaric bastards close the pubs on Thanksgiving here!
 
tom prendergast said:
I suppose that you could claim that you have an allergy to turkey and cranberry sauce.
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Yea that line would work real well if your invited for Thanksgiving dinner at the homeless shelter but do you think that's his mom is going to buy that? She'll know that's a lie before he can finish saying it.
 
i think im just going to end up getting drunk per capts suggestion. Most everyone will be distracted by football so I'll do a quick stop and chat, get the small talk out of the way, then starting pounding the beers until I am in a nice chill zone.
 
its the same thing with christmas mass. if i don't go my mom cries and guilt trips me even though it's a total waste of my time and i hate god
 
Mott the Hoople said:
Bad plan. You're mom will just invite him/her for dinner too. Pretending to be sick won't work either.

What I would suggest is that you call your mom up, call your sister a thieving bitch for stealing your MP3 player (or what ever your warped little mind can come up with) and that you hate the bitch and you're not going to ever talk to her again and that if she's showing up for Thanksgiving you won't. The women will have an emotional meltdown which is cool cause they eat that shit up anyways, then the day after thanksgiving you call them back and apologize cause you just found the MP3 player in your pants in the laundry and that your sorry for being such an ass. The secret is, that after you tell your mom all that shit is to hang up on her and to not answer your phone until the day after Thanksgiving when you apologize after you found the MP3 player.....you get the big idea here.

The secret is to not matter of factly accuse your sister. You have to be a complete emotional basket case drama queen when you do it. It takes some acting but like I said...women eat that drama queen shit up.
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Mott. Men are not equipped for playing these kinds of mind games on women. We ALWAYS find out and we NEVER forget. Best for Grind to just suck it up and go. :gpow:
 
F R E N D O said:
its the same thing with christmas mass. if i don't go my mom cries and guilt trips me even though it's a total waste of my time and i hate god
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Hey...she's your mom and that's her job....sounds like she's good at it too. Dude, that's the key really, use their love of drama against them or rather use it in your favor.
 
christiefan915 said:
Mott. Men are not equipped for playing these kinds of mind games on women. We ALWAYS find out and we NEVER forget. Best for Grind to just suck it up and go. :gpow:
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Well of course it's best if he just sucks it up and goes....he's a blythering idiot if he thinks he's going to be able to outsmart his mother on this.

I'm just giving him a workable plan and the one I gave him will only work if A.) He's a good enough actor to cause his mom and sister to have an emotional melt down (that's usually not hard to do) and B.) He's insufferable enough of a prick not to care that he's causing all the drama and female heart break. Of course as soon as he calls back and apologizes the jig will be up and they'll cry and guilt trip his ass and he'll feel like a total schmuck for a month or longer but he will get out of Thanksgiving....let's keep our eye on the prize here Christie!

My other suggestion to Grind is....have fun with it. Each year drive your mom nuts by finding a real odd guest to bring to dinner with you. Here's some suggestions Grind;

Invite a gay friend or aquantance of the "flamming" variety only refer to them as "your date".

Go to the local homeless shelter and bring someone home for dinner. Preferably someone with serious mental health and hygiene issues.

Bring a narcoleptic just to see if they'll go face down in the mashed potatoes.

Find someone with Tourettes syndrome. That's always entertaining.

Invite a 300 lb hillbilly, biker chick or some coed covered in tats and piercings.

Invite an Hasidic Jew.

Or an Imam.

or a muslim woman...in a chadori.

bring Captn Billy and get drunk with him. Make sure he brings his guns though.

The great part about brining a guest/date is you have a built in excuse to bail as...you have to take your guest home (well except the homeless schmuck, just give him a bottle of wild irish rose and kick his ass out on the street.)
 
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Mott the Hoople said:
bring Captn Billy and get drunk with him. Make sure he brings his guns though.
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Considering Grind is a gun nut, and his dad owns a flame thrower of sorts, I think this would actually make his parents happy. Especially since I am highly lovable when drunk.
 
Mott the Hoople said:
Well of course it's best if he just sucks it up and goes....he's a blythering idiot if he thinks he's going to be able to outsmart his mother on this.

I'm just giving him a workable plan and the one I gave him will only work if A.) He's a good enough actor to cause his mom and sister to have an emotional melt down (that's usually not hard to do) and B.) He's insufferable enough of a prick not to care that he's causing all the drama and female heart break. Of course as soon as he calls back and apologizes the jig will be up and they'll cry and guilt trip his ass and he'll feel like a total schmuck for a month or longer but he will get out of Thanksgiving....let's keep our eye on the prize here Christie!

My other suggestion to Grind is....have fun with it. Each year drive your mom nuts by finding a real odd guest to bring to dinner with you. Here's some suggestions Grind;

Invite a gay friend or aquantance of the "flamming" variety only refer to them as "your date".

Go to the local homeless shelter and bring someone home for dinner. Preferably someone with serious mental health and hygiene issues.

Bring a narcoleptic just to see if they'll go face down in the mashed potatoes.

Find someone with Tourettes syndrome. That's always entertaining.

Invite a 300 lb hillbilly, biker chick or some coed covered in tats and piercings.

Invite an Hasidic Jew.

Or an Imam.

or a muslim woman...in a chadori.

bring Captn Billy and get drunk with him. Make sure he brings his guns though.

The great part about brining a guest/date is you have a built in excuse to bail as...you have to take your guest home (well except the homeless schmuck, just give him a bottle of wild irish rose and kick his ass out on the street.)
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Aw, I was just jagging you, Mott. But seriously, are you able to fool your wife? I mean for real?
 
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