How to raise a kid.

[Mott the Hoople]

There is one thing you can do to help ensure you raise your kid to be a responsible adult. When they get to that age when they start to cry for attention, or because they don't get their way, give them a good spanking. Repeat as often as necessary. If you do this, your child will, more than likely, turn out better than they would have. At the very least, they will not grow up to be a whiny liberal. Trust me. It works.

I know...my parents spanked me and look how I turned out? Oh...that’s not good is it?

 

[Mott the Hoople]

I spanked my kids between ages 2-6 when they needed it. The criteria was if they did something to hurt themselves or someone else. After age 6 or so you have to put too much force into it to teach them, so I used the tactic of taking away what they coveted most. I also explained to them the punishment gets doubled, or more, with each reoccurring infraction, just like in real life. Both my kids are now successful adults, and never got so much as a parking ticket.

Isn’t your eldest eligible for parole now?

 

[Mott the Hoople]

So, I should slap your mother for not aborting you?

That wouldn’t be smart. She’d kick your ass.

 

[MAGA MAN]

Isn’t your eldest eligible for parole now?

Chemical engineer working for a major aerospace company, married an MIT grad, just bought their first house, 3000SF, brand new, 3 bedrooms plus an in-law suite with separate entrance, 3 car garage, waterfront, age 25.

Sorry to disappoint you.

 

[CFM]

Clearly your parents stopped way to soon.

Clearly your parents never started.