Its time

Beefy

Beefy

Worst gambler ever
The rapture is coming within the next couple of years. Believe me, I know. There's a couple of guys I know who are radical Christians, and they're telling me to dump everything and prepare for it. Not only that, but I had a dream about fearies. And, the Aztec calendar is ending. So I'm selling all my shit cheap. I don't need nothing but my smokes and my booze. I'll repent shortly and have my mansion in heaven. So long suckers.

Your an idiot if you don't believe it.

Anyone else see the retardidity of fundamental religious shit?
 
Beefy said:
The rapture is coming within the next couple of years. Believe me, I know. There's a couple of guys I know who are radical Christians, and they're telling me to dump everything and prepare for it. Not only that, but I had a dream about fearies. And, the Aztec calendar is ending. So I'm selling all my shit cheap. I don't need nothing but my smokes and my booze. I'll repent shortly and have my mansion in heaven. So long suckers.

Your an idiot if you don't believe it.

Anyone else see the retardidity of fundamental religious shit?
Click to expand...

Beefy, you should get away from those guys. You can never tell if they get it into their heads that they need a sacrifice to get the rapture ball rolling. And if there are no virgins around, it's bound to be the fat guy! ;)
 
Yep the SDisciples of Christ thought he would come back before he died. Christ even said this to them. Every Christian seems to think the end is coming in their lifetime....
I have to agree with LadyT, get away form those guys they might decide they need someone to sacrifice just to test their faith.
 
Actually Beefy, you may be joking, but on a serious note I had a dream about Anirias - she's an ancient faery princess who has predicted the break up of Pangea (it was populated by a prior human race). Anyway, she told me that in 2013 a few chosen people will be led down through a series of caves to middle earth where they will remain safe. Two years later an asteroid will hit earth and destroy all of its inhabitants. The only life on the planet will be below for the next 3 thousand years when the chosen few will emerge and repopulate the planet once again. I know this to be true. You have to take my word for it. Warn people. If they want to be saved they are going to have to join the Church of People and send me lots of money. Or die. You choose.

If you don't believe me believe Princess Anirias; she doesn't lie. I swear.

She also told me that Bush's father is actually an ape from the Congo (a secret that must be kept until he's out of office) and that by human standards he's midly retarded but by ape standards he's a genius. Which means I definitely trust her.
 
uscitizen said:
Yep the SDisciples of Christ thought he would come back before he died. Christ even said this to them. Every Christian seems to think the end is coming in their lifetime....
I have to agree with LadyT, get away form those guys they might decide they need someone to sacrifice just to test their faith.
Click to expand...

You mean Darla ;)

I know.....we look alike.
 
I believe the noahide theocrats will try to simulate a series of end times events. They will cause war in israel, rebuild the temple, present a messiah, use technology to simulate miracles etc. Whether the real jesus shows up to stop them is what I'm waiting to find out.
 
Beefy said:
The rapture is coming within the next couple of years. Believe me, I know. There's a couple of guys I know who are radical Christians, and they're telling me to dump everything and prepare for it. Not only that, but I had a dream about fearies. And, the Aztec calendar is ending. So I'm selling all my shit cheap. I don't need nothing but my smokes and my booze. I'll repent shortly and have my mansion in heaven. So long suckers.

Your an idiot if you don't believe it.

Anyone else see the retardidity of fundamental religious shit?
Click to expand...
Have your friends sold their stuff? Just remind them of the whole "theif in the night" verses. They may catch on to the whole idea that if they are right, they won't know when he is coming...
 
AssHatZombie said:
I believe the noahide theocrats will try to simulate a series of end times events. They will cause war in israel, rebuild the temple, present a messiah, use technology to simulate miracles etc. Whether the real jesus shows up to stop them is what I'm waiting to find out.
Click to expand...

Keep watch on Independence Missouri.
 
Beefy said:
The rapture is coming within the next couple of years. Believe me, I know. There's a couple of guys I know who are radical Christians, and they're telling me to dump everything and prepare for it. Not only that, but I had a dream about fearies. And, the Aztec calendar is ending. So I'm selling all my shit cheap. I don't need nothing but my smokes and my booze. I'll repent shortly and have my mansion in heaven. So long suckers.

Your an idiot if you don't believe it.

Anyone else see the retardidity of fundamental religious shit?
Click to expand...


I have a sneaking suspicion that I won't be whisked to heaven during the rapture, with you, Darla, USC, and MissT. That's why I've been stocking up on ammo, guns, and canned food to survive the tribulation. I've often wondered how and why God is going to leave three billion buddists, hindus, muslims, and others on earth during the rapture. Are they really less deserving than a few hundred million evangelicals, fundamentalists, and baptists?

Personally, I'm joining forces with the hindus during the tribulation. Hindus can kick ass, and anyone who worships a cow, is going to be a good ally to have during the seven year tribulation.
 
"Beefy, you should get away from those guys. You can never tell if they get it into their heads that they need a sacrifice to get the rapture ball rolling. And if there are no virgins around, it's bound to be the fat guy! "

Holy shit... my side hurts from laughing so hard...
 
AssHatZombie said:
I believe the noahide theocrats will try to simulate a series of end times events. They will cause war in israel, rebuild the temple, present a messiah, use technology to simulate miracles etc. Whether the real jesus shows up to stop them is what I'm waiting to find out.
Click to expand...

Wow, AHZ is on the money again!

The biggest threat from any 'rapture' or similar are those who will try to bring about the events described in it, and lets face it, there are plenty of them in positions of power...
 
AnyOldIron said:
Wow, AHZ is on the money again!

The biggest threat from any 'rapture' or similar are those who will try to bring about the events described in it, and lets face it, there are plenty of them in positions of power...
Click to expand...


Yep, and the whole thing depends on the misguided Christian Zionists staying in lockstep with their globalist overlords.
 
Darn you guys are going down AHZ's lane with this :shock:


I think Ghandi had it right, something to the effect of : I like this Jesus, why are not more Christians like him ?
 
Hindus can kick ass, and anyone who worships a cow, is going to be a good ally to have during the seven year tribulation.

But cows are for eating, and they don't like that....
 
Yep, and the whole thing depends on the misguided Christian Zionists staying in lockstep with their globalist overlords.

You had me until the globalist overlords?

Who are these people?
 
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