Limericks

C

cancel2 2022

Canceled
Two ugly sisters from Fordham
Took a walk one day out of boredom
On the way back
A sex maniac
Jumped out of a bush and ignored 'em.

A stay at home lady named Roz
Said I don't go out much because
I already know
Wherever I go
I'd wish I'd just stayed where I was.

Sent from my iPhone 10S
 
There once was a bogman that would leer
With the ladies he caused quite a fear
So they took out their mace
sprayed him right in the face
and now thomas knows not to go near

:tombushes:
 
I fucked Toms mom in the ass
Yes, it really was crass
I came on her face
Kicked her out of my place
Next time I think I'll pass.
 
Mott isn't Funny said:
I fucked Toms mom in the ass
Yes, it really was crass
I came on her face
Kicked her out of my place
Next time I think I'll pass.
Click to expand...

What's the difference between Billy Barfly and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, and the other is a little lighter.

Sent from my iPhone 10S
 
Last edited:
Billy's Wife: "I look fat. Can you give me a compliment?"

Billy: "Yeh, you have perfect eyesight."

Sent from my iPhone 10S
 
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Right-wing yanks all live under the bed.
Never think, though, that passion has fled:
though their cocks have dropped off
bit by bit as they cough
they can play with their bang-bangs instead.
 
The Trinity found itself in a bind.
They had more members than three combined.
Poor Watermark they dubbed.
To throw out of the club.
But decided he was better than Grind.
 
There once was a Norwegian from Cape Cod
Who was a really most disagreeable sod
He wanted to fuck Darla
But he was hung like an impala
So he put the job out to tender, by God



Sent from my iPhone 10S
 
There once was a bloke named Tom,
and limericks he wrote with aplomb.
He tried to write witty,
five line little ditties.
Which pretty much always bombed.
 
Mott the Hoople said:
There once was a bloke named Tom,
and limericks he wrote with aplomb.
He tried to write witty,
five line little ditties.
Which pretty much always bombed.
Click to expand...

Hmm, you are contradicting yourself there. Aplomb and bombed is a shitty rhyme as well as being opposites in meaning, do try harder!

Sent from my iPhone 10S
 
There once was a hat named Tom
Who was mad that I fucked his mom
I smacked her ass with my belt
She had an odor of smelt
But it was better than my palm
 
Milagro said:
Hmm, you are contradicting yourself there. Aplomb and bombed is a shitty rhyme as well as being opposites in meaning, do try harder!

Sent from my iPhone 10S
Click to expand...

There not contradictory at all. Aplomb means self confident and in this context bombed means to fail. Self confident people fail all the time. As for rhyming it not only rhymes it has the correct aabba meter for a limerick.
 
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