Science Humor

An Ion walks into a bar all excited. The bartender asks "Whats up?" The Ion says "I've lost all my electrons!" The bartender says "Are you sure?" The Ion says "I'm positive."
 
A mushroom walks into a bar and the barman says "We don't serve your kind here." The mushroom says, "What's the matter? I'm a fungi!"
 
A ham and cheese sub walks into a bar, orderers a beer, and the bartender says "We don't serve sandwhichs in here". :palm:
 
A bunch of really badass bikers are in a bar and this drunk walks up to the biggest one and says; "I fucked your mother last night and she loved it. She was moaning, thrashing around, and begging for more. And as soon as I finish my beer, I'm going to go by and fuck her again."

The drunk then staggers off and all the other bikers are sitting there in shock.
The look over at the first guy and one of them asks him; "Why did you let that drunk old fool talk to you that way?"

The first biker replies; "Oh dad always was mean and nasty, when he's been drinking". :cof1:
 
USFREEDOM911 said:
A bunch of really badass bikers are in a bar and this drunk walks up to the biggest one and says; "I fucked your mother last night and she loved it. She was moaning, thrashing around, and begging for more. And as soon as I finish my beer, I'm going to go by and fuck her again."

The drunk then staggers off and all the other bikers are sitting there in shock.
The look over at the first guy and one of them asks him; "Why did you let that drunk old fool talk to you that way?"

The first biker replies; "Oh dad always was mean and nasty, when he's been drinking". :cof1:
Click to expand...
Science jokes! Science Jokes! There supposed to be Science jokes. Please stay on topic! LOL
 
USFREEDOM911 said:
A bunch of really badass bikers are in a bar and this drunk walks up to the biggest one and says; "I fucked your mother last night and she loved it. She was moaning, thrashing around, and begging for more. And as soon as I finish my beer, I'm going to go by and fuck her again."

The drunk then staggers off and all the other bikers are sitting there in shock.
The look over at the first guy and one of them asks him; "Why did you let that drunk old fool talk to you that way?"

The first biker replies; "Oh dad always was mean and nasty, when he's been drinking". :cof1:
Click to expand...

Mott the Hoople said:
Science jokes! Science Jokes! There supposed to be Science jokes. Please stay on topic! LOL
Click to expand...

OK

A bunch of really badass Scientist are in a bar and this drunk walks up to the biggest one and says; "I fucked your mother last night and she loved it. She was moaning, thrashing around, and begging for more. And as soon as I finish my beer, I'm going to go by and fuck her again."

The drunk then staggers off and all the other Scientists are sitting there in shock.
The look over at the first guy and one of them asks him; "Why did you let that drunk old fool talk to you that way?"

The first Scientist replies; "Oh dad always was mean and nasty, when he's been drinking".
 
USFREEDOM911 said:
OK

A bunch of really badass Scientist are in a bar and this drunk walks up to the biggest one and says; "I fucked your mother last night and she loved it. She was moaning, thrashing around, and begging for more. And as soon as I finish my beer, I'm going to go by and fuck her again."

The drunk then staggers off and all the other Scientists are sitting there in shock.
The look over at the first guy and one of them asks him; "Why did you let that drunk old fool talk to you that way?"

The first Scientist replies; "Oh dad always was mean and nasty, when he's been drinking".
Click to expand...

lol... touche...
 
Two statisticians are out hunting when one of them sees a duck. The first takes aim and shoots, but the bullet goes sailing past six inches too high. The second statistician also takes aim and shoots, but this time the bullet goes sailing past six inches too low. The two statisticians then give one another high fives and exclaim, "Got him!"


A young man was walking down the street when he sees a frog. The frog calls out "Pick me up, pick me up!", so he does. The frog becomes quite excited, and tells the young man "kiss me, and I will turn into a beautiful princess", but the young man does no such thing. Agitated, the frog tries again "Seriously, kiss me and my spell will be broken, I am beautiful and I will do anything for you...". Still the young man looks at the frog, but doesn't kiss it. Finally, the frog gets really impatient "Look, I know I don't look like much, but I am the real deal! Kiss me and I will be the perfect woman for you! Why don't you kiss me?"
The man just takes the frog and starts walking down the street. At the corner, he turns to the frog and says "I am a software engineer, I don't have time for a girlfriend. But a talking frog is really cool!"


Einstein, Newton, and Pascal are all playing hide and seek one day. Einstein is it and begins counting. While Einstein is counting, Pascal scurries off quietly. Newton, on the other hand, plops down on the ground right next to Einstein and pulls out a piece of chalk. He draws a one meter box around himself, finishes, and sits quietly.
When Einstein finishes counting he looks about. Pascal is nowhere to be seen, but Newton is sitting on the ground right in front of him.
"Newton, you brainless moron. You're terrible at this game! You've already lost!" exclaims Einstein.
Newton smiles and replies, "No, I haven't lost. You've found one Newton per square meter...You've found Pascal!"


A room-temperature superconductor walks into a club. The bartender looks him in the eye and says "we don't serve your kind in here." He leaves without putting up any resistance.


It violates causality. Did you hear the joke about the tachyon?


Does the name Pavlov ring a bell?


What is the difference between an Introvert scientist and an Extrovert Scientist? .
.
.
.
.
.The Extrovert Scientist looks at your shoes....


If I were an enzyme I would be helicase so I could unzip your genes
 
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