Weird Quirks about your childhood

B

BRUTALITOPS

on indefiniate mod break
Contributor
What things were weird about you as a kid?

For some reason, I hated finger painting, as in, I never touched it. I was not a germophobe mind you, there are many pictures of me rolling around in mud. I ate random purple flowers in my background. (very bitter tasting)

In preschool my teacher would try as hard as she could to get me to make handprints with fingerpaint for our preschool graduation. (She made a banner with the entire classes prints and names on it). I refused, so they had to trace my hands instead. For years afterwards they still had the banner up, mine being the only non finger paint hands.
:good4u:
 
When I was 4-5 my idiot friend took my ninja turtle handcuffs and cuffed his sister. But I had lost the key. I was so fucking pissed when my mom said we were going to have to cut my handcuffs to let the dumb bitch free.
 
When I was 6 I watched a news report, came under the impression that I had Fibrodysplasia ossificans progressiva, which turns muscle into bone ultimately leading to complete paralysis and death. I started crying, and my mother asked me what was wrong, and I pointed to my arms and said "This arm is hard, this arm is soft."

Fibrodysplasia ossificans progressiva is, of course, a genetically inherited disease, and I imagine we would have heard about it a long time ago if I had gotten it. But I was extremely hypochodric as a child and apparently thought that you could catch it.
 
Last edited:
It was an extremely common event in my childhood for me to be crying while the entire class laughed at me for unusually long periods of time.
 
I hated finger painting, too. I think it was the smell of the paint that irritated me. Also, one of my earliest memories is of my brother shitting in the tub and my dad frantically pulling me out.

Anyway...

When I was 6 or so, my mom told me that Bush Sr. lied (about not raising taxes). I was seriously blown away that a President would lie.

When I was 7, I hired a hitman (a large black girl. she was paid with Jolly Ranchers) to kick the shit out of this fat bully named Rory. He was humiliated by the experience and incidentally, we later became friends.

Also when I was seven, I sat next to this skank named Melissa who constantly devoured the contents of her nose. I found this particularly revolting.

One of my earliest memories is shitting in the closet with my cousin (his idea). I think I was about 3.
 
When I was in kindergarten, I got paid (in coins) to drop my pants by older girls to see my underwear.
 
I am the supernova said:
When I was 4-5 my idiot friend took my ninja turtle handcuffs and cuffed his sister. But I had lost the key. I was so fucking pissed when my mom said we were going to have to cut my handcuffs to let the dumb bitch free.
Click to expand...

Man, at that age my father had already taught me how to pick simple plastic locks.
 
When I was little I used to wet the bed. The best part about it was I had to bunk in the same bed with my older brother at that time. He'd fuck with me during the day, like older brothers do and I'd give the mother fucker a golden shower at night. Man that was sweet. :)
 
One of my earliest memories (not the earliest, but one of them) is a night my father was having a party at our house with his Motorcycle Club... I was about three, not quite as the parents divorced by the time I was three, but nearly so... I got up to use the potty and as I was coming out of the bathroom I was met by a nice view of the barrel of a gun. The jackass behind it demanded I get him a beer...

I stared at him for a while... And then he started laughing, rubbed my hair with his hands and told me I was a real "man" to stare down the gun...

I hated it, and I mean I hated it when people rubbed my hair with their hands. I think this started my aversion to being touched. Of course I was too young and stupid to realize how scared I should have been of a drunk and stoned 1 percenter with a gun pointed at my head.
 
Damocles said:
One of my earliest memories (not the earliest, but one of them) is a night my father was having a party at our house with his Motorcycle Club... I was about three, not quite as the parents divorced by the time I was three, but nearly so... I got up to use the potty and as I was coming out of the bathroom I was met by a nice view of the barrel of a gun. The jackass behind it demanded I get him a beer...

I stared at him for a while... And then he started laughing, rubbed my hair with his hands and told me I was a real "man" to stare down the gun...

I hated it, and I mean I hated it when people rubbed my hair with their hands. I think this started my aversion to being touched.
Click to expand...

You wouldn't have lasted long in our family then. My father is a Chiropractor.
 
Damocles said:
One of my earliest memories (not the earliest, but one of them) is a night my father was having a party at our house with his Motorcycle Club... I was about three, not quite as the parents divorced by the time I was three, but nearly so... I got up to use the potty and as I was coming out of the bathroom I was met by a nice view of the barrel of a gun. The jackass behind it demanded I get him a beer...

I stared at him for a while... And then he started laughing, rubbed my hair with his hands and told me I was a real "man" to stare down the gun...

I hated it, and I mean I hated it when people rubbed my hair with their hands. I think this started my aversion to being touched. Of course I was too young and stupid to realize how scared I should have been of a drunk and stoned 1 percenter with a gun pointed at my head.
Click to expand...

O_o
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top