Which kind of whiskey should I buy

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911 EVERY DAY
On my 21st birthday, before pretending to party awkwardly for a little bit before collapsing in a ball and crying myself to sleep, I want to buy a large bottle of whiskey.

Which kind should I buy?
 
Get 4 pints. 1 of Jameson, 1 Johnny Walker (red), 1 Jim beam, and 1 Jack Daniels. Make yourself four horsemen until a coma kicks in.
 
Hmmm having given this some thought, and considering one of your key parameters "crying yourself to sleep" I can narrow the list down for you. When it comes to a drunken crying jag nothing beats a good bourbon/sour mash whiskey. There are lots of great Bourbons to choose from. I would suggest you purchase one that costs at least $25/fifth but not more than $35. Some good suggestions would be Makers Mark, Knobb Creek, Woodford Reserve, Jim Beam Black, Wild Turkey 101. (notice Jack Daniels old #7 isn't on there? Cause it's popularity has made it over priced) but anything in the price range I mentioned will do. A tip though. Don't add mixers other than some ice. If you don't like the taste of Whiskey then buy some beer, don't waste your money if your going to mix it with soda or juice or whatever.

My personal favorite is Makers Mark. For a good crying jag....you pretty much have to drink the whole fifth.

Happy B-day!! :)

Now....if you happen to have an over fed and underloved girl living in the trailer park next door, invite her over and do shots of Cazadores Tequila and don't worry about the taste. That shit be liquid panty remover!!
 
CaptBillyTheKid said:
Get 4 pints. 1 of Jameson, 1 Johnny Walker (red), 1 Jim beam, and 1 Jack Daniels. Make yourself four horsemen until a coma kicks in.
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Heathen! Philistine! Barbarian! What Sacrilege! You sir are an apostate. How could you mix those 3 fine whiskey's let alone mix them with something second tier like old#7. If your going to commit sacrilege at least do it with 12 YO Jack. I mean what a waste, he'd be better off with a jug of fruit punch, a bottle of everclear and a loaded .38!
 
Mott the Hoople said:
Heathen! Philistine! Barbarian! What Sacrilege! You sir are an apostate. How could you mix those 3 fine whiskey's let alone mix them with something second tier like old#7. If your going to commit sacrilege at least do it with 12 YO Jack. I mean what a waste, he'd be better off with a jug of fruit punch, a bottle of everclear and a loaded .38!
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Dude, it's a mixed drink. Mixing whiskey alone is a sin, so he might as well go out. He loves sinning.
 
CaptBillyTheKid said:
Dude, it's a mixed drink. Mixing whiskey alone is a sin, so he might as well go out. He loves sinning.
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If he was mixing them in a Mexican whore house or something classy like that I would agree with you......but he's going to sit on his ass at home and cry! That's not only a waste of good whiskey....it's a waste of good sin!!
 
Mott the Hoople said:
If he was mixing them in a Mexican whore house or something classy like that I would agree with you......but he's going to sit on his ass at home and cry! That's not only a waste of good whiskey....it's a waste of good sin!!
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It's Watermark. He's not good enough to do a real sin. And the only thing you can mix whiskey with is more whiskey. Of the same brand.
 
CaptBillyTheKid said:
It's Watermark. He's not good enough to do a real sin. And the only thing you can mix whiskey with is more whiskey. Of the same brand.
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But this is more than sin...it's sacrilege!
OK but if that's going to be the case he should mix Old Crow, Ancient Age, Buffalo Trace and El Toro......the .38 would still probably be pretty handy too.
 
If you want good whiskey, get a bottle of Bushmills.

But since you have no clue about whiskey or what to drink, I am thinking you don't drink whiskey/bourbon/sour mash enough to know whether its good or not.

WM, but a bottle of Southern Comfort. Its sweet so you will like drinking it more, and it will get you hammered for cheaper.
 
I don't recommend buying a bottle of good whiskey for your 21st.....buy one of those shot bottles of something good for your first drink and a large bottle of swill.....you won't remember what it tastes like the next morning anyway......
 
Go with the four horsemen. It'll fuck you up into another time zone. Or Absinthe, if you can find it.
 
Mott the Hoople said:
Absinthe? We're trying to fuck Watermark up....not kill him! LOL
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I doubt he has the connections to get real absinthe. But yeah, that stuff will seriously mess you up. But I think the wormwood stuff is illegal in the US, isn't it?

I think its like Ouzo. They claim its the same, but the effects are different.
 
No, absinthe prohibition is no longer in effect in America. Nor is the 'real' stuff hallucinegenic.
 
Bulleit Bourbon if you can find it. Best bang for your buck $25 or so for a fifth, and waaaaay better than the crap these ameteur nincompoops have been recommending in this thread.
 
I would offer one humble suggestion:

by a fifth of The Famous Grouse. It is a wonderful scotch and much better - and smoother - than scotches costing five times as much.
 
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