Why does God have a Penis?

BRUTALITOPS

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Contributor
Greetings fellow justplainpolitikers,

I begin:

Man is made in God's image, so says the bible. If this is to be true, then we can assume God has a penis.

Yet, it is doubtful God has to go to the bathroom, he's an omnipotent being, he can will his urine away. Though, he probably doesn't have much use for eating or drinking anyway.

Ok, so he doesn't use his penis for going to the bathroom. What about sex? You would think if one had a Godly penis, one would need a godly vagina nearby to receive it. But as far as christianity is concerned, there is no Godess to make sweet sweet love to.

So why then, does our christian God have a penis? Status Symbol? Aesthetics? It is an interesting quetion, no doubt.

I think I'm just going to assume Yahweh is one hell of a chronic masturbator.
 
Interesting...

I am not a religious man myself, you could say that I am a borderline Atheist. That being said, I have read some and I have always thought that, if there is a God as described in religious texts, he was equipped more along the lines of a Ken doll.

As for the whole Man being created in His image, if this were true, I would think that the best interpretation of this would be "mankind," humans in general, rather than men specifically.
 
The created man in his image to me just illustrates the arrogance of mankind that wrote that down.

But it also demonstrates good salesmanship.
 
God made man and woman, in the image of Him.....Adam and Lilith, only when lilith rebelled against Adam wanting to rule her and she left him, did God make Eve, subservent to Adam....now that was probably writen by MAN....

genesis 1:27 So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them. 28 And God blessed them, and God said to them, "Be fruitful and multiply, and fill the earth and subdue it; and have dominion over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the air and over every living thing that moves upon the earth."

And then you have Genesis 2

18 Then the LORD God said, "It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him." 19 So out of the ground the LORD God formed every beast of the field and every bird of the air, and brought them to the man to see what he would call them; and whatever the man called every living creature, that was its name. 20 The man gave names to all cattle, and to the birds of the air, and to every beast of the field; but for the man there was not found a helper fit for him. 21 So the LORD God caused a deep sleep to fall upon the man, and while he slept took one of his ribs and closed up its place with flesh; 22 and the rib which the LORD God had taken from the man he made into a woman and brought her to the man. 23 Then the man said, "This at last is bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man." 24 Therefore a man leaves his father and his mother and cleaves to his wife, and they become one flesh. 25 And the man and his wife were both naked, and were not ashamed.

The story doesn't make sense?

Initially God created both male and female....in the image of him.

but in Genesis' second chapter Adam was lonely and he created Eve out of Adam's rib, for him and he called her "woman" because she was made from man....?

I recently saw either a History Channel or Discovery Channel special on the Bible and books that were not admitted or were found later....in these it discusses Lilith as being the first female...even in the Bible of today, In Isaiah, there is mention of Lilith but nothing else in the cannonized Bible?

So, BOTTOM LINE, even if you are Christian or a Jew, God is BOTH male and FEMALE...the Bible tells me so! :D

care
 
I never stopped to think about that, it is a good question to make to the Pope.
 
God made man and woman, in the image of Him.....Adam and Lilith, only when lilith rebelled against Adam wanting to rule her and she left him, did God make Eve, subservent to Adam....now that was probably writen by MAN....



And then you have Genesis 2



The story doesn't make sense?

Initially God created both male and female....in the image of him.

but in Genesis' second chapter Adam was lonely and he created Eve out of Adam's rib, for him and he called her "woman" because she was made from man....?

I recently saw either a History Channel or Discovery Channel special on the Bible and books that were not admitted or were found later....in these it discusses Lilith as being the first female...even in the Bible of today, In Isaiah, there is mention of Lilith but nothing else in the cannonized Bible?

So, BOTTOM LINE, even if you are Christian or a Jew, God is BOTH male and FEMALE...the Bible tells me so! :D

care

Why does God have a digestive system? A heart? An asshole? A body? A brain?

These are all parts of us we need due to the physical constraints of the universe we live in. God wouldn't have physical restraints.
 
Why does God have a digestive system? A heart? An asshole? A body? A brain?

These are all parts of us we need due to the physical constraints of the universe we live in. God wouldn't have physical restraints.

Yep you are catching on.

Besides he is tripolar, 3 in one.
 
Why does God have a digestive system? A heart? An asshole? A body? A brain?

These are all parts of us we need due to the physical constraints of the universe we live in. God wouldn't have physical restraints.

He doesn't, He's talking about the way we think, feel and react mentally....male and female are different, emotionally...you know men are from Mars, women are from Venus type things....

it is pompous for man to think the image of him is in the "physical" imo!!!

care
 
Yep arrogant and pompous. Also I hope he thinks a bit clearer than we do.

but then maybe not, after all he did pick George bush to be our president.
 
Yep arrogant and pompous. Also I hope he thinks a bit clearer than we do.

but then maybe not, after all he did pick George bush to be our president.
noooooooo, he let us(not me) do that all on our own, and He's letting us deal with the shit of him too.... paybacks are hell they say..... :eek:
 
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